I am in search of a good quote about gaming, for use as the slogan for the Owlcon t-shirts this year.
Posted by Greg at January 9, 2005 2:16 PM
You want to know about gaming. I'm here to tell you about gaming. Imagine you're locked in a huge underground deathtrap filled with orcs, zombies, demi-litches, and unnameable things that rape pit bulls for fun and you ain't allowed out until you all vote on what you're going to do tonight. You like to put your feet up and watch 'Adventuring Party Reservation.' They like to have sex with normal people using knives, magic wands, and brand-new sexual organs that you did not know existed. So you vote for mapping the 20' wide corridor and everyone else, as far as your eye can see, votes to fuck you with switchblades.
That's gaming. You're welcome.
--Warren/Spider, via Karin
Not very good, but thought I'd share anyway.
"We call it 'interactive storytelling' so we can get across the border without getting our car searched."
This is what we do instead of lying to the border patrol going from Detroit to Toronto for AmberCon North every year.
A Game Master must have the Heart of a Bard, the Soul of an Artist, the Intellect of a Scientist, the Insight of a Philosopher, the Foresight of a General, the Memory of a Historian, the Will of an Umpire, the Compassion of a Priest, the Patience of a Diplomat, the Ego of an Auteur, and the Instincts of a Gambler...
I'll be right back.
Famous Last Words
A hero's work is never done. Which is one of the minor reasons I don't recommend the profession.
Walter Slovotsky
Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead and did it anyway.
You jump down and distract him, and I'll shoot him.
Famous Last Words
What's a pantheon and why is it mad at me?
Famous Last Words
And just remember - a sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to stay out of a firefight.
Grunts
GM: The battleship plate of your battlesuit bends and buckles around the forcefield he effortlessly erects. Player: Well, can't solve this with violence. Time to start thinking!
A Dungeon Master's best twit filter is a large red dragon.
Nodwick, by Aaron Williams
What in the gods name is a Gumby Ninja Kobold?!?!
Atilla the DM
Looks like I failed my save vs stupid plot twists.
Brent of PvsP by Scott Kurtz
Imagination is more important the knowledge.
Albert Einstein.
Well there is a very random smattering for you. :)
What? You dare defy her whims? She is the Game Master! You are her pawn! She controls your fate! -- Dexter's Laboratory, D&DD
Ginger uses the above quote while GMing.
"I am convinced that God does not play dice."
-- Albert Einstein
"So....He uses the Amber system?"
-- OwlCon Organizer
The best quotes tend to come with backstories, alas. To wit: "Oh yeah, weapons.", from the party's mage, who ran out of spells and forgot the handy crossbow (and then proceeded to hit *everything* for the rest of the combat). The same group produced: "Who knew you could milk a weasel?" and "Dragons explode - who knew?" Or, my favorite from a different game: "Well, at least you're not mad about the dead hooker." (Far to long to go into here.
But... here's a few favorites.
"Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done." (author unknown)
"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.", J. R. R. Tolkein
"Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you--if you don't play, you can't win." Robert Heinlein
"If I'd known it was harmless, I'd have killed it myself!", Phillip K. Dick
"I'd have believed it was an accident if you hadn't changed clips. Twice." (Unknown)
"Stop -- bang bang bang -- or I'll shoot!" (Unknown)
"You can't win, you can't break even and you can't get out of the game.", Rephrasing of the laws of Thermodynamics
"The ultimate aim for a warrior is to lay down his sword.", Hero
"Evil begets evil. Shooting it only makes it stronger.", Priest Vito Cornelius - The Fifth Element
"Never compete with someone who has nothing to lose.", Baltasar Gracian
"Chaotic Neutral means never having to say you're sorry."
This one has been kicking around various splinters of my college gaming group for years.
Here are a few I've picked up:
"The game is nothing, the playing of it everything."
Jorum - "Triumph of the Darksword"
"There are no ordinary characters, only ordinary players."
Dave Gipe
And I don't remember who (Aron Head perhaps?), but one GM on the old USENET had a motto of:
"Oderint dum metuant."
"I can't help making up things. If I didn't, I don't believe I could live. I'm sure I couldn't live here."
— Frances Hodgson Burnett
This is one a friend of mine said to me when I was running a Dark Sun campaign:
Me: Do you have any idea how many Gith you would have to kill to go up a level tonight?
Reese: Put them in front of me.