The worst Act 3, Scene 2 ever written, probably.
Act 3, Scene 2: At the climax of Act 2, the HERO had just lost everyone he thought he loved or cared about (except the CYNICAL SIDEKICK); they think he's a fool, or have allied themselves with his ENEMY, the man who killed his MENTOR. Then in Scene 1, HERO unlocked the last of MENTOR's teaching and became a Second Stage Kung Fu Green Lantern Master or whatever. Fired up from the rush of discovery, he and CYNICAL SIDEKICK burst into a DESERTED ALLEYWAY.
CYNICAL SIDEKICK
OK, we can still run. I'm thinking the Bahamas, maybe Barbados. Can you sing calypso? We hide out for ten, maybe twenty years, tops.
HERO
No! Now we go on the offensive!
CYNICAL SIDEKICK
Are you crazy? Sure, whatever happened in there was, I'll admit, pretty cool, but, seriously? Now you've paid the price, you're all Mr. Wisdom or something? I don't think so!
HERO
Yes, I am wise, but it's wisdom full of pain! (beat) Yes, I've paid the price, but look how much I've gained! If I have to, I can do anything! I am strong! I am invincible--
CYNICAL SIDEKICK
You are woman?
HERO
What?
CYNICAL SIDEKICK
Dude, you can't go quoting Helen Reddy lyrics at me and not expect to get called on it.
HERO
I forgot how gay you are.
CYNICAL SIDEKICK
Hey, you were the one about to break into song! Anyway, liking early 70s painfully naive feminist anthems does not make me gay.
HERO
Sucking cocks for fun makes you gay.
CYNICAL SIDEKICK
This is certainly true.
HERO
Regardless, even though I totally didn't realize I was quoting Helen Reddy, what I said is right. I can take on ENEMY and his MARTIAL ARTS GANG OF QWARDIAN ZWILNICKS, I know it! And I'm doing it, with or without you!
CYNICAL SIDEKICK
OK. (beat) I've got your back.
Posted by Greg at July 14, 2007 3:00 PM