Howdy, all.
This being my first official post for the Howling Curmudgeons, a group I was introduced to via my pal Marc, I figure I should say something about my tastes and my opinions via comics. First off: I'm a big fan of the Golden and Silver age comics, especially guys like Bill Finger, Gardner Fox, Bill Everett, Nick Cardy, of course Stan and Jack... I even like Joe Simon and admit to a perverse fondness for the Boys Ranch and Prez concepts. I'm unabashedly a fan of the superheroic in comic books, and I've more or less stopped buying the monthlies anymore in favor for trade paperbacks. In addition, my top five favorite comic book characters are Superman, Dr. Doom, Iron Man, Green Lantern and Captain America.
In order that this might be a somewhat amusing post for you all to read, I've included a musing: what kind of insane program is Empire State University running, anyway?
Seriously, think about it: Dr. Doom and Reed Richards are graduates, and the Lizard (Dr. Curt Connors himself) and I'm not sure but I think Stegron the Dinosaur Man worked there for a while too. Let's not even go into Miles Warren/the Jackal, who despite being a mere college biology professor managed to lick advanced cloning techniques during his time at ESU. (And this is without mentioning the one good conceit from Heroes Reborn, that is that Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hank Pym, Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom all went to college together at ESU. Man, I'd hate to be in that graduating class. You can kiss valedictorian goodbye.) I don't know if anyone ever said where Doctor Octopus went to school, or if Mysterio took any film classes at ESU, but I wouldn't be at all surprised.
As Berke Breathed once mentioned 'A man's name can promote him...or doom him.' And Doom's name doubly dooms him. Victor Von Doom. This is not the name of a chartered accountant. I'm pretty sure that as soon as ESU (I find it interesting that Doctor Doom, Reed Richards and Spider-Man all belong to the same alumni association. Must be interesting for them around homecoming and for phone drives. I wonder what happens to the unfortunate froshie who calls Castle Doom looking for some cash?) got Victor's application, they were fighting off the teachers in the Mad Science department with a stick.
Actually, that leads me to another query; do you think that Mad Scientists get recruited like normal science majors? Are their people whose job it is to go to science fairs and look for that one student who twists God's creation into a slavering, mutatious nightmare? Journal Entry #123 - As usual, the people at Westinghouse fail to see the glory of unadulterated science. The Fools! My Gamma-Ray Beam has transformed my hamster into a raging engine of destruction, but as usual, all those repressed idiots care about are 'Morals' and 'Ethics' and other rot! Well, one day I'll show them all!
Journal Entry #124 - Much has happened. Since yesterday's admittedly intemperate outburst, a man in a black trenchcoat came to our home and informed me that ESU would like to offer me the Otto Octavius grant in Applied Radioactive Bio-Engineering. I'm glad to see that there is still at least one school out there that allows experimentation to flourish.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the first thing Doom did after taking over Latveria was set up a Grant for Evil Geniuses. The Von Doom Fellowship? Maybe the Latverian Grant for Technical Innovation and Cackling? (Come to think of it, how did Von Doom get the money to build a device intended to breach the barriers between dimensions and allow him to enter Hell itself to rescue his mother from Mephisto? Did he just happen to have it lying around, or did he actually have to fill out a grant application? I'm just imagining the poor bastard who had to approve that one.) Heck, even those Alumni who didn't go the Mad Scientist route tend to get a little whacky with things sometimes and in general, I'd have to wonder if ESU's standards are all that they should be. Perhaps a remedial Scientific Ethics course would be in order.
As one example: Reed Richards, along with his best friend, fiancee and her brother hijacks a space ship...I can see bringing Ben, he was a pilot and all, but why did he bring his wife to be and her brother? I'm pretty sure they frown on that sort of thing come appropriations time. And whose idea was it to just shoot radiation through the air and invite high school students to come stand under it!? These people were a bit cavalier, IMHO. I think the Main Lab at ESU was probably named The Von Frankenstein Memorial Scientorium or something like that.
The brochure from ESU must be fascinating.
Posted by Matt Rossi at September 21, 2004 6:54 PM