I was exchanging emails with our fearless leader about Firestorm, and I got off on a rant. Here it is, slightly cleaned up.
[Edited for Clarity]
Also, because I'm on a rant, it looked like Firestorm was YET ANOTHER book where the first umpty issues were about the hero finding out their own inner mystery.
You know what, that's boring. I don't want to see a whole issue about some kid getting fired from his crap job and fighting with his dad.
I want someone in tights beating the crap out of someone else in tights by page six.
I want a complete story in 22 pages, and something mind-blowing on page 23 so I come back next month.
I don't want an issue about Hero Guy designing his costume. I want Hero Guy IN his costume, beating the crap out Villain Guy.
I want a something exploding and a sea of mooks wearing themed costumes getting beat on.
I want the hero to have a life outside the villain beating, but I want the life to be interesting. I want the hero to angst about their secret ID, because that's a lot more dramatic than everyone knowing who they are. There's frickin' drama in a SECRET ID. We've known that since the frickin' Scarlet Pimpernel and Zorro, for Kirby's sake.
I want a mad scientist who monologues at his captured enemies, and a meathead with super-strength tearing the door off a bank vault.
I want big capes that make Todd McFarlane and M.D. Bright reach for a second pencil to draw it. (Screw you, Edna Mode. It's called Velcro. My kid's Superman Underoos have them.)
I want an armada of alien warships by page ten or by god, I will choke Bendis with his own snappy patter generator.
Okay, I feel better.
Posted by Rick Jones at January 19, 2005 5:25 PM