Hey, I was at a con all weekend, I'm catching up.
Anyway, also via the entire world, plus several orbiting satellites, is a lovely rant about Spider-Man: Reign #3.
In which the death of Mary Jane Watson Parker is due to cancer caused by exposure to Peter Parker's radioactive jizz.
I reiterate: Twenty-five years from now, Beneath the Valley of Chris's Daughter's Invincible Super-Blog will repost selected panels from this issue, adding only the commentary You Are Now Freaking Out, because there is no other possible rational reaction; it is dada in superhero comic book form.
Posted by Greg at February 13, 2007 10:40 AM
On Newsarama, Joe Quesada explained that when Kaare Andrews did Spider-Man: Reign, he was clearly inspired by Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns. What he apparently didn't mention is that Andrews is also apparently inspired by the current "Can't write worth a damn" version of Frank Miller.
My God -- I clicked through to Greg's link (it's a link to Savage Critics) and read the dialogue quoted there, and it is so mind-numbingly bad that part of me thinks this is some elaborate prank, and that Marvel didn't actually print the book that's described -- how could they possibly print something so utterly lacking in taste, in talent, or in common sense and literally without redeeming value?
This is our own version of what the late-night comedians live for. The jokes just start writing themselves. I'm going to pass on a couple of my favorites.
If you've been following the Spider-Man: Reign saga, you'll remember that issue #1 gave us a glimpse of what we now know is Spider-Man's deadly weapon. So we should've known this was coming. John Jakala reminds us why:
As Anton Chekhov once noted, "If you're going to show a penis in book one, it'd better go off by book three."
And in the comments to Graeme McMillan's original review, Douglas Wolk offered this:
"Is he tough? Listen, chum/He's got radioactive come..."
But if you're still not quite sure you believe this, Dirk Deppey has the actual panels at today's Journalista (scroll almost to the bottom).
Of course most people with any sense and taste new to avoid this book like the plague when they first previewed the cover. Everyone else new to drop it after the penis in the first issue. I'm sure Joey the Q loves it though since it almost fulfills his MJ snuff film fantasy.
It's hard for me to remember, but I actually used to be a huge Spiderman fan. This reminds me why I'm not. It's not surprising at all, really; Marvel characters are based off of emotional snapshots and the company simply cannot maintain the iconic integrity of its characters. This is a bit further out than the Clone wars, the Civil war, etc, but it comes from the same oblivious disregard to iconic themes (and branding). Say what you will about the ways DC has used and abused Superman and Batman. Each of those stories, at heart, reaffirmed the thematic core of the character. Marvel just keeps shooting for the angst moment, and is this really such a surprise?
The next time the Dorkins and Bendises and Ellises of the world want to run down fans for not getting laid enough... point them to that panel and ask them about policing their own first.
the Dorkins and Bendises and Ellises of the world
I think that's the first time those words were ever found in a sentence.