There will be numerous, confusing, conflicting, downbeat and character changing crossover events. In comics, real life and movies.

We'll lose some Golden Age and Silver Age greats. But we will see Beanworld collections, and more new Beanworld. We may finally see the first volume of the Complete Pogo.

Plus, I am a Superman kind of guy; I am congenitally incapable of viewing the future without optimism. There will be good comics, both predictably good and unexpectedly good, in the new year.

I expect to buy fewer comics--for time reasons. In my year-end anality, I discovered that in 2008 I had read slighly under 1000 comics--but had bought nearly 1100. I need to narrow that gap and have already started cutting my list. I'd like to read every comic I buy in 2009, including collections.

I have a bad feeling about the coming year, for some reason, but that may or may not have anything specific to do with the comic book industry. And anyway, hey, it's the 40th anniversary of the San Diego Comic-Con!

I predict that DC and marvel will both try to produce masive crossover events with no real content. Oh, and that grant Morrison will actually die of self-parody.

Predictions:

1. The Watchmen movie will open as scheduled after Fox and WB reach an agreement upon figuring out how to generate enough profit for both companies. An extreme amount of product placement is digitally inserted into the movie. In the new version of the movie, Jon Osterman has an accident while fixing a Rolex and Adrian Veidt sends a very large package UPS.

2. Grant Morrison's next project is at Marvel, where he revives Team America and uses it as a canvas for exploring the collective unconscious. In their first story arc, the team find themselves racing against time in pursuit of a mysterious villain named Weltanschauung.

3. Martian Manhunter is brought back as a Vertigo title written and drawn by Sam Kieth.

4. Chaos erupts on the Marvel boards when new Amazing Spider-Man writer Alan Smithee reveals that Mary Jane has all this time just been a hooker that Norman Osborne hired to keep an eye on Peter Parker. Joe Quesada is quoted in the fan press stating, "Spidey has only been interesting when his love life has met tragedy." Ten thousand messages on the subject are posted within 72 hours. A quarter are pro-change, a quarter are anti-change, while half are insults on other posters.

5. With the new relationship with Milestone, Warner Bros. announces an Icon movie starring Will Smith, to be released summer 2010. Next will be a Zatanna movie with script by Paul Dini and David S. Goyer starring Megan Fox.

6. Judd Winick takes over Fantastic Four and kicks off a story arc in which Johnny Storm is sued for paternity by five different women.

7. Julius Schwartz, Black Lantern.

8. A new game phenomenon emerges with the success of Spider-Man: Spinners, a Wii-only release with a controller attachment that shoots silly string.

9. During a raucous happy hour at the New York Comic Con, Joe Quesada accidentally signs an exclusive contract with DC.

10. All-Star Batman and Robin No. 11 is released in August. Captain America: White No. 1 is released in December.

Oh, and after Batman: RIP there will be a new title.

Batman: Taps.

It will be about Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson trying to revive Vaudeville and competing on "So You Think You Can Dance?" Their "Fit As a Fiddle Routine" will inspire Joker, Penguin, Killer Croc, Catwoman, Bane, the Riddler and whoever else to try out for the show. Crime in Gotham drops to nothing as everyone practices for their big numbers. There is a major upset at the end as Penguin and Poison Ivy win with their rendition of "Dancing Cheek to Cheek" narrowly beating Joker and Harley Quinn's "Me and My Shadow" and Mad Hatter and Scarecrow's "Putting on the Ritz."

They are all tied up in the followup tour for several months, and crime in Gotham drops so low that the police department cuts jobs by thirty percent.

However, Aquaman's dance instructional school takes off.

What's that, Sherman? You didn't know Aquaman was into that stuff?

Surely you've heard of Arthur Curry's Dance Studio...