July 1, 2009

All in a day's work

by JL Franke

The first issue of Gotham City Sirens introduced us to The Broker, real estate agent to the criminal mastermind. Previews of Marvel Divas shows that there are now matchmaking services for the single superheroine.

This, of course, adds to the list of everyday services that comics has trotted out over the years. The Rogues went to Paul Gambi for their duds, and many Marvel heroes went to Janet van Dyne. Physicians like the Crime Doctor provides (usually villains) the medical care they need. Inventors like the Tinkerer provide equipment and custom gadgets to the super crowd (often villains). Both Oracle and Calculator provide significant IT and data mining services. Damage Control does extensive clean up and repairs after battles. Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg, and Holliway provides legal services to superhumans. Batman has, at times, had outside contractors design and build him Batmobiles. The Mighty has an entire support team. There have also been multiple news sites, blogs, e-zines, and television tabloids covering the super community, and at least one reality show (which ultimately resulted in the Marvel Civil War kicking off).

My question to you is twofold. First, what other everyday services have we seen that I've neglected to mention (I'm sure there are lots)? Second, what are some other possibilities we haven't seen yet? I've got my own take on the latter question after the break.

  • A website to track who's dead and who's alive, which could be useful in both the DC and Marvel universes. For some heroes or villains (cough, Magneto, cough), maybe one website could be devoted to just that person, sort of like this one.
  • A website or service that tracks battles among metas so that you can plan your commute accordingly.
  • Interior designer. I can buy Bruce Wayne knowing how to make sure the Batcave is feng shui, but I'm not sure Clark Kent could properly decorate a barn, let alone the Fortress. Hm...what if they went on Trading Spaces?
  • La Petite Amie. You've just told Aunt May that you were out with your girlfriend when really you were fighting the Rhino and now she wants to meet your new gal. What's a hero to do? Companions for all occasions, from the girl next door to the Tony Stark arm candy.
  • Super Friends Funeral Parlor. For the special needs departed. Discounts for repeat customers.
  • Au pair. Those superkids can be quite a handful. Who's butch enough to keep up with Jack Jack? Babysitting and nanny services are a lifesaver for the super-parent on the go.
  • Spiritual adviser. Presidents, leaders of industry, and rock stars have them, why wouldn't superheroes?
  • Car/transport service. Fantasticar in the shop? Stuck in a suburb with no tall buildings to swing from? Don't just call a cab, call SuperShuttle for a low profile, bullet- and nuclear blast-proof ride. Planes, boats, and starcraft available with advance notice.

Posted by JL Franke at July 1, 2009 8:47 PM

Comments
#1 ::: David Van Domelen ::: July 2, 2009 12:22 AM ::: link

Dr. Blink, Superhero Shrink. Normal psychiatrist who just sort of fell into having supers as his clientele.

#2 ::: Jason Fliegel ::: July 2, 2009 2:36 AM ::: link

Marvel brought Night Nurse back a few years ago; now she runs a clinic where injured superheroes can go to get patched up.

Marvel's also got the Bar With No Name where supervillains can go to get a drink.

There's a fine line between verisimilitude and sucking all the magic out of the fictional world, and a lot of these characters/concepts cross the line, at least as far as I'm concerned.

#3 ::: JL Franke ::: July 2, 2009 10:21 AM ::: link

Jason: Your mention of The Bar With No Name made me remember the Oblivion Bar, where all the DC mystics hang out.

I think the issue with bringing the everyday world into comics is that, if you haven't seen it before (or at least for a while) and it's done well, it can be a fresh way of generating new stories. For example, Goodman,... provided She-Hulk with a unique setting that fit the character's background and supported some quirky storytelling (which is the kind of storytelling where the character has always fit best). The problem comes from oversaturation of it, or in pulling back the curtains too far (like if they ever revealed that Batman's suit includes an adult diaper so that he doesn't have to stop the Batmobile for potty breaks -- a known practice of real-life mounted warfighters in the field).

#4 ::: Mike Chary ::: July 2, 2009 5:08 PM ::: link

Adult diaper? Too far? Nah, we can do better than that. The Batman had mystical portals set up at the opening of with penis and anus so that his waste gets deposited in a pocket dimension.


The next Bat crossover will reveal this, and the hideous revenge the denizens of that dimension will take.

#5 ::: Seth Finkelstein ::: July 2, 2009 5:16 PM ::: link

The Fantastic Four has had accountants appear in stories, as well as several (usually powered) babysitters. Not to mention Willie Lumpkin, mailman.

The idea that Spider-Man can't cash a check is silly. There should be a bank or credit union to handle those sorts of irregular financial services.

There's no need for "A website or service that tracks battles among metas so that you can plan your commute accordingly." - that would be part of a normal traffic report (traffic jam downtown, from Hulk rampage, ...)

#6 ::: Joe Gualtieri ::: July 3, 2009 2:37 AM ::: link

Agatha Harkenss is the original Marvel au pair.

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