The Golden Rule

At The Comics Journal, at Newsarama, at IMWAN -- it's all anyone can talk about. Michael Golden is a jerk! Here's the cliff notes version: four different people ordered commissions from Michael Golden in the fall of 2006 at a cost of $500 each, give or take. Promised delivery dates came and went, and the customers got the run-around from Golden's agent (former marvel editor Renee Witterstaetter). Finally, the commissions have begun arriving. In each case, the requested character has his back to the "camera" and the commission is dominated by the phrase "Patience is a virtue, [NAME OF COMMISSIONER]." In one case, Golden didn't even bother to spell "virtue" correctly. This is clearly inappropriate behavior from a professional artist. Professional artists meet their deadlines. If professional artists cannot meet their deadlines, they do not give their employers the run-around. And professional artists certainly do not use their art to criticize their employers for expecting professional behavior. A big thumbs down to Michael Golden from me.

Logoriffic

Via Michael Grabois, renowned letterer Todd Klein has a blog.

Here's his series on the logos of the Legion of Super-Heroes: Part 1, part 2, part 3.

Open Thread 4

What news from SDCC is most worth talking about?

On Latveria

Via David Goldfarb (and PNH):

Latveria's Future
Latveria and the EU

Sunday Song Lyric

There are some characters who are, if not obscure, at least a little off the beaten path. If you say "I'm a fan of the Rocket Racer" or "I like Lightray of the New Gods," in reply, you may get a question like "Really? What is it you like about that character?"

Then there are the characters that are so big that nobody's surprised to hear that they are a favorite. Noboy ever says "Spider-Man? Gee, I don't think I know many people who count Spider-Man as their favorite character!"

The Rolling Stones are sort of like the Spider-Man of music. There are people who are Stones fans and people who aren't, but nobody has ever said "The Rolling Stones? I can't imagine anyone being a Rolling Stones fan!"

Sister Morphine
The Rolling Stones

Here I lie in my hospital bed
Tell me, sister morphine, when are you coming round again?
Oh, I dont think I can wait that long
Oh, you see that Im not that strong

The scream of the ambulance is sounding in my ears
Tell me, sister morphine, how long have I been lying here?
What am I doing in this place?
Why does the doctor have no face?

Oh, I cant crawl across the floor
Ah, cant you see, sister morphine, Im trying to score

Well it just goes to show
Things are not what they seem
Please, sister morphine, turn my nightmares into dreams
Oh, cant you see Im fading fast?
And that this shot will be my last

Sweet cousin cocaine, lay your cool cool hand on my head
Ah, come on, sister morphine, you better make up my bed
cause you know and I know in the morning Ill be dead
Yeah, and you can sit around, yeah and you can watch all the
Clean white sheets stained red.

Everything that needs to be said about that film project

Alan Moore once said:

I met Terry Gilliam, and he asked me, "How would you make a film of Watchmen?"

And I said, "Don't."

Swiping Linkage about Swipes

Via Mark Evanier, D.S. Karroll has identified a key Bob Kane swipe in the first appearance of Batman.

WWTCD?

What would Tarl Cabot do?

He'd enslave and bind every woman he met until she admitted she wanted nothing more than to be bound and enslaved by a man.

Via James Nicoll, Dark Horse is reprinting the Gor novels.

Uh-huh.

I remember reading the first eight or so before giving Norman up as a loony. I got through eight because it was planetary romance in an ...

No, screw it. Anything I could say would be far more apologia than these works deserve. Gor is a nightmare, John Norman is an irredeemable human being, and Dark Horse has just irreversibly damaged its reputation.

Update: Dark Horse contact page. Share your opinion.

Legion of Super-Powered Individuals

Postulate: If you make Lighning Lord a more heroic, sympathetic, and fully-realized character than Brainiac 5, you should not be writing the Legion of Super-Heroes.

Come on, people! Brainiac5 is Super-Hero. It's right there in the name of the book. Stop portraying him as a raging asshole!

A Thousand Words III

There's no cooler comicbook villain than a Nazi ... unless it's a Nazi made of bees!

Superman -- It's Just How It Sounds

The Superman theme song, with parody lyrics. Better than you might think.

The Somewhat Less Boistrous Return of the Quick Review (7-25-07)

The Quick Review was unable to put it together two week's in row (making the Quick Review something like the Detroit Lions of blog features), but we're putting on our pads and hitting the field this week anyway to provide you, the comics blog consumer, with the information and insight that will enable you to be a wise and happy purchaser of printed stuff at ye ol' comic shoppe this week. Huzzah!

=================================================================

• AIT/PlanetLar: Black Diamond #3 (of 6). Will this series finally deliver some high-speed excitement, or will it be more talk talk talk talking? (Well, if one were to play the odds...)

• Amaze Ink (Slave Labor Graphics): Tron #4. The Quick Review is of a generation such that it is inordinately fond of things like Tron and old Intellivision games. The QR was not so fond of the Tron 2.0: Killer App computer game that came out a few years ago, however, so it is uncertain how it feels upon learning that there's a Tron comic book out on the shelves.

• Comic Cavalcade: Stargate SG1 2007 Special Gold Foil Cvr. The QR likes Stargate SG1, but honestly, gold foil covers in 2007? And while we're on the subject, the QR would like to ask you, if you ever purchased a foil cover of a comic when you could have purchased a regular version: What the hell were you thinking? Your foolishness reminds the QR of this clip (particularly the 1:34 mark). (The QR guesses that the other lesson from that clip is that apparently you can get away with gratuitous Asian stereotypes in a comedy featuring the beloved Weird Al.)

• Fantagraphics: Angry Youth Comix #13 (they're mighty angry!) and Love & Rockets Vol 2 #20 (which the QR has still never read), and Squa Tront #12 (about which the QR knows nothing, but it tickles the QR's fancy for goofy names).

• IDW Publishing: Fallen Angel IDW #18. The QR knows that some of you are big Fallen Angel fans, so you'll probably want to pick this up.

• Scholastic Inc: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Dlx HC, $65.00. A new Harry Potter book? The Quick Review had no idea! So a $65 deluxe hardcover, eh? For sixty-five bucks, it better float in the air and read itself.

Dark Horse Comics has a bunch of stuff, including:

• Grendel Behold the Devil #0. A new Grendel series or what?

• Hellboy Darkness Calls #4 (of 6). When will he grow up to be a Hellman?

• Speak O/T Devil #1. Wasn't that the name of a previous Grendel series?

• Usagi Yojimbo #104. Usagi Yojimbo is pure comics goodness.

• Usagi Yojimbo Vol 21 Mother of Mountains Ltd Ed HC, $59.95. The Usagi hardcover may be five bucks cheaper, but the Quick Review bets that it could beat the crap out of the Harry Potter deluxe hardcover.

DC Comics is publishing, well, mostly crap, including:

• Alan Moore Wild Worlds TPB. Anyone know which stories are in this collection?

  All Star Batman and Robin The Boy Wonder #6 (resolicited). The QR feels kind of icky just mentioning this comic.

• Batman #666. If Batman doesn't fight Satan in this issue, the QR will be very disappointed.

• Ninja Scroll #11. Ninjas, ninjas everywhere, and all the boards did shrink...

• Penguin Revolution Vol 4. Did someone say that they wanted a Penguin Revolution? Well, you know, maybe we don't really want to change the world...

• Supergirl and the Legion of Super Heroes #32. The QR is still pissed about that whole lame JLA/JSA crossover thing.

• Superman #665. If Superman doesn't fight Satan next issue, the QR will be very disappointed.

• Teen Titans #49, Teen Titans Go #45. Is the QR over the animated Teen Titans cartoon getting cancelled? Nope.

Image Comics also has a bunch of stuff this week, including:

• Dust #1 (of 2). No clue what this is and no time to look it up. It's probably not worth buying. The QR is a harsh, and random, master.

• Hiding in Time #1 (of 4). No clue, no time, probably not worth buying, see previous entry. (Oh, sure, it might be good -- although it sounds like a time travel story, and the QR is almost as sick of time travel stories as it is zombie stories at this point.)

• Invincible #44. Although the QR waits for the trades.

Marvel Comics, determined not to be out-sucked by DC, has a bunch of stuff coming out this week, including:

• All New Off HB Marvel Universe A To Z Update #3. In all seriousness: Who gives a rat's ass?

• Annihilation Conquest Star Lord #1 (of 4). Unless he's in the costume, with the guns, and has the ship, the QR don't wanna hear from no Star Lord.

• Heroes For Hire #12. Is this the tentacle fondling cover, or is that next month?

  Immortal Iron Fist #7. I thought (hoped, prayed) this was a miniseries??

• Incredible Hulk #108. The QR is already bored of World War Hulk. That didn't take long.

• Mighty Avengers #4. Might sucky, that is.

• Onslaught Reborn #4 (of 5). Mercifully, the QR didn't read any of the Onslaught stories last time and therefore has only the vaguest idea who or what Onslaught is. Of course, if Marvel were smart, that's how Marvel would have left things. Of course, if Marvel were smart... well, let's just stop right there before this ends in tears.

• Wolverine #55. Whatever.

• Wolverine B&w Variant #55. Who cares?

• Wolverine Land Var #55. Dude, I totally wanna go to Wolverine Land! Do they give you your own Wolverine gloves with real metal claws, and will any of Marvel's current staff be there?

The Quick Review Not-So-Random Spotlight this week is:

TwoMorrows Publishing: Modern Masters Vol 12 Michael Golden SC.

The Quick Review considers Michael Golden to be one of the overlooked talents of the late-70's-through-mid-80's golden age of superhero comics. We are very much looking forward to reading this volume and learning more about the man and his work.

Okay, not exactly a grand finale to this week's outing, but at this point the Quick Review is lucky to even happen. As always, let us know what you will or won't be picking up this week, and anything the QR missed. Peace!

Hilarity Ensues

PVP is having a guest week with the guys from Lunchbox Funnies, and I figured I'd check out some of their strips.

So far, it's one-for-one, as Aki Alliance made me laugh out loud. It's the story of one girl's battle to make friends with everyone in her class, whether they like it or not.

Now to read more!

When Curmudgeons Update!

There've been a few minor changes hereabouts, mostly relating to comments, where you'll find:

• Comment numbers: Now you can refer directly back to a comment by its number, which helps keep the conversation in order when the moderation queue is running behind.
• Comment links: Each comment has a permalink of its very own.
• Front-page comment links: Over in the front page sidebar, our Recent Comments section now uses comment permalinks to let you jump directly to a comment by clicking on the commenter name. Clicking on the post name takes you to the top of the post as usual.

I figure there are worse comment sections to emulate than Making Light.

Try Reading Captain Marvel

Reason, save me from stupid people.

John August:

I chatted with one of the "Shazam!" producers, Michael E. Uslan, and he told me even then that any Captain Marvel movie's great challenge would be answering one question: If you were a little kid who could turn into an all-powerful, handsome adult, why on Earth would you ever change back?

Because Billy and Cap are two different people. Dipshit.

It's like, you're annoyed when people call you "Mikey", because your name is "Michael". Or you go to work and you're a producer, and you go home and you're a daddy.

It's a question of identity. Cap is somebody that Billy becomes for a while, and then when he's done, he becomes himself again.

I'm surprised I have to explain this. I mean, you could try reading Captain Marvel for once to see how the people who made him the most popular superhero in history figured it out. But that smacks of effort.

Sunday Song Lyric

Back in 1997, Marvel interrupted the regular numbering on their titles to do a series of Flashback issues that

Stop! I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, there's no reason for me to do this post here!

Radio Radio
Elvis Costello

I was tuning in the shine on the light night dial
Doing anything my radio advised
With every one of those late night stations
Playing songs bringing tears to my eyes
I was seriously thinking about hiding the receiver
When the switch broke 'cause it's old
They're saying things that I can hardly believe
They really think we're getting out of control

(CHORUS) Radio is a sound salvation
Radio is cleaning up the nation
They say you better listen to the voice of reason
But they don't give you any choice 'cause they think that it's treason
So you had better do as you are told
You better listen to the radio

I wanna bite the hand that feeds me
I wanna bite that hand so badly
I want to make them wish they'd never seen me

Some of my friends sit around every evening
And they worry about the times ahead
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference
And the promise of an early bed
You either shut up or get cut up, they don't wanna hear about it
It's only inches on the reel-to-reel
And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools
Tryin' to anaesthetise the way that you feel

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Wonderful radio
Marvelous radio
Wonderful radio
Radio, radio

Fun with photoshop: Batgirl edition

So I decided to throw the cover to Detective #359 into the Showcase-o-matic 5000 to see if we could improve on this:

Step inside the post and let's see what's what!

Here's what we started with:

Now, a few ground rules to keep in mind:

1) Showcase covers don't have text, other than the subject's logo and the Showcase trade dress itself. That means we have to lose all that cool 60's copy -- "Is she heroine or villainess?" Who cares! It's gone!

2) Other than rule 1, Showcase covers generally don't monkey with the original art. No fair cutting Batman and Robin out of the picture.

3) I tried to keep the same color scheme that DC did for the actual Showcase, which meant replacing the purple background with a lovely shade of blue-green.

So, without further ado, here's what we came up with:

So, what have we learned?

First, that I ... um, I mean the Showcase-o-matic 5000 does not exactly have l33t Photochop skillz.

Second, that the cover to Detective #359 is really pretty ugly, design-wise, once you get rid of all that text. No offense to Carmine Infantino.

Third, that with Batman and Robin front and center at the top of the page, you have to slap the Batgirl logo right over their heads. The only alternative is to exile the logo down to the bottom of the book. and that would be a Very Bad Thing.

Fourth, that this does not look like the cover to "Showcase Presents Batgirl." It looks like the cover to "Showcase Presents Batgirl and Batman and Robin."

Fifth, this cover has a lot of empty space at the bottom where all those words used to be. Design-wise, that strikes me as another Very Bad Thing.

As a result of this experiment, I remain convinced that DC made the right choice -- at least as between the 'Tec #371 splash and the 'Tec #359 cover.

What do you think?

And just because it's come up in the comments, this is the original splash page that the actual cover was based on:

Spider-Man vs. Michael Leavitt

Spider-Man has popped up in some surprising places over the years. Via Andrew Farago, here is one of the most surprising.

Bookmark this post

In the Showcase Batgirl thread, I mentioned that Showcases are usually solicited with a representative cover shot that doesn't necessarily match what ultimately winds up being the cover of the actual volume. On a whim, I decided to grab copies of all of the forthcoming Showcases currently listed on DC's website. Check back over the next few months to see if the actual books use these covers.

Martian Manhunter -- Due July 25

Adam Strange -- Due August 8

Wonder Woman -- Due August 22

Batman & the Outsiders -- Due September 12

Captain Carrot -- Due September 26

Metal Men -- Due September 26

The Great Disaster (featuring the Atomic Nights and Hercules) -- October 24

Suicide Squad -- Due November 14

Secret Society of Supervillains -- Due November 28

La Fille du Professeur

I read The Professor's Daughter by Joann Sfar and Emmanuel Guibert, available in English-language edition by First Second.

It's a lovely book, with beautiful washes and lithe and energetic character designs. The storytelling is clear, so the reading is a pleasant experience.

I didn't like it. Just a question of taste, but I think it's enabled me to realize something about my taste: I love absurdity, but it has to be funny.

The book has something of a wacky premise, and the story is built on the passing around of the idiot ball, where various characters do thoughtless or stupid or implausible things and proceed from there as if the action wasn't unreasonable, but it takes itself seriously (not just sincererly, but seriously). For me at least, I feel like the plot fails to justify itself.

But it is a lovely book, and my reaction is idiosyncratic. Do not read this as recommending against the book.

That Old Stan Lee Memory

I just heard Stan Lee on the radio, and as always, I listened to the interview with a huge grin on my face. Man, I could listen to Stan all day. Great stuff!

Toward the end of the interview, Stan was asked how he came up with Thor. "Well," replied Stan, "Jack Kirby and I had already done Galactus in the Fantastic Four, and Galactus was a demi-god. So we were asking ourselves 'what could be even more powerful than a demi-god,' and of course the answer was a god. So we decided to do a comic book about a god. And everyone knew the Greek and Roman gods, but the Norse gods were less well-known, so we decided to do a Norse god instead."

Anyone want to try for a no-prize and explain what Stan got wrong?

The answer, of course, is that Thor debuted nearly four years before Galactus!

Batgirl Remix

Lea Hernandez is directing a remix project for the new Showcase Batgirl cover.

The cover is a reprise of the cover of 'Tec 371, which manages to make a questionable cover significantly worse, e.g. by making Batman and Robin no longer in need of Batgirl's assistance.

There are only a couple of entries so far, but subbing Batgirl for Doomsday is definitely a winner.

And they all still draw better than Rob Liefeld

In 1947, Life Magazine took a bunch of the popular comic strip artists of the day and asked them a simple question: can you draw your character blindfolded? Here is a reprint of the results.

Hat tip to Shiny Side Faces Out.

A Thousand Words II

This cover is so ludicrous yet so much fun. I can think of about a million jokes (most of them completely inappropriate for a family blog such as this one), but most of all, I really want to read that story and find out how the Flash gets out of that predicament.

When Artforms Collide

These aren't really distinct artforms, but I couldn't think of a more apt description of the unexpected hybrid that's currently gracing the Chicago stage. What do you get when you mix superheroes, tap dancing, and opera together? I don't know either, but The Chicago Tap Theatre is finding out with their latest production, The Hourglass in the Stop-Time Chronicles. Inker Andrew Pepoy has helped design and plot the show, so it's got real, honest-to-god comics street cred. I haven't seen it yet myself, so I can't give it a personal yea or nay, but it looks like something comics fans in and around the Chicago area might want to add to their itinerary.

Chicago has a track record with comics-related theater. Although I couldn't confirm it with a quick Google search, my memory tells me that Starstruck, the play that later turned into a comic book by Elaine Lee and Mike Kaluta debuted in Chicago (the best I could find online said "off-off Broadway," which does, technically, include Chicago). I know for a fact that I saw an adaptation of Jill Thompson's Scary Godmother. Neil Gaiman has been involved in a couple of things. Signal to Noise, by Gaiman and Dave McKean was adapted to the stage here, as was Stardust, which originally had illustrations by Charles Vess. I'm sure I'm leaving other things out--who can list more?

Chary on Loony Tunes

Mike Chary gives us the scoop on the forthcoming Loony Tunes DVD collection (Volume 5, for those of you who aren't keeping track). Along the way, Mike walks us through some of the other great characters of animation.

If you're not regularly reading Mike's blog, you really ought to.

What the hell is a Zuda?

Go here to read Todd Allen's great discussion of Zuda Comics, DC's forthcoming American-Idol-meets-webcomics venture. Todd answers many of the questions you may have, but doesn't purport to touch the big one, which is "what the hell were they smoking when they came up with that name?"

Sunday Song Lyric

All in all, it's a relatively good time to be a comic fan. Why? Because there is so much in print.

Back in the olden days, a comic appeared on the stands for a month or so, then it was gone forever. Sometimes, there would be reprint comics, but those were just as ephemeral. If it was 1978 and you wanted to read the Lee/Ditko run of Spider-Man, your choice were to track down the then-15-year-old comics or hope that Marvel Tales would reprint them. And if Marvel Tales reprinted them, you'd better make sure to be at the local spinner rack to grab every issue as it came out; otherwise, you were back up the same creek.

Today, though ... today, we have comic book shops and the internet and trade paperbacks. Especially trade paperbacks. Now, if I want to read Lee/Ditko Spdier-Man, not only can I find back issues (if I'm so inclined), but I've got a variety of (relatively) inexpensive reprints available to me. I can pick up an Essential, or a Masterwork, or who knows what else.

So the great thing about being a comic book fan today is that so much history is available to be read. Stuff like Eisner Spirit and Cole Plastic-Man and Drake/Premiani Doom Patrol are all in print in one form or the other. When I started reading comics, I got to read the stray story here and there when it was reprinted in, for example, the Smithsonian Book of Comic Book Comics. Now, I can read it all. Except -- as a few of us were discussing at lunch yesterday -- Jim Starlin's Warlock, but that's another post.

Anyway, I was thinking about this because one of the greatest albums in rock history has just been re-released in a new 2-disc version that includes not only the original album, but also live performances of all the songs. Of couse, record labels have been much better at keeping stuff in print over the years than comic book companies, and it's not as if Daydream Nation has been out of print in the 20 years since its release, but still ... it's nice to see this great new issuance of the material.

Here's my favorite track off that album. Well -- half of it anyway. The first half of the song is musically very interesting, but the lyrics don't translate well to print.

Teenage Riot
Sonic Youth

Everybodys talking bout the stormy weather
And whats a man do to but work out whether its true?
Looking for a man with a focus and a temper
Who can open up a map and see between one and two

Time to get it
Before you let it
Get to you

Here he comes now
Stick to your guns
And let him through

Everybodys coming from the winter vacation
Taking in the sun in a exaltation to you
You come running in on platform shoes
With marshall stacks
To at least just give us a clue
Ah, here it comes
I know its someone I knew

Teenage riot in a public station
Gonna fight and tear it up in a hypernation for you

Now I see it
I think Ill leave it out of the way
Now I come near you
And its not clear why you fade away

Looking for a ride to your secret location
Where the kids are setting up a free-speed nation, for you
Got a foghorn and a drum and a hammer thats rockin
And a cord and a pedal and a lock, thatll do me for now

It better work out
I hope it works out my way
cause its getting kind of quiet in my citys head
Takes a teen age riot to get me out of bed right now

You better look it
Were gonna shake it
Up to him

He acts the hero
We paint a zero
On his hand

We know its down
We know its bound too loose
Everybodys sound is round it
Everybody wants to be proud to choose
So whos to take the blame for the stormy weather
Youre never gonna stop all the teenage leather and booze

Its time to go round
A one man showdown
Teach us how to fail

Were off the streets now
And back on the road
On the riot trail

A Thousand Words

You know, I can't help but think that the war in Iraq would be going much better if we had more gorilla non-coms.

Ragnasuck

Apparently, Dan DiDio and Jim Starlin have decided that the New Gods must go. Starlin's killing them off in an 8-issue miniseries this fall. Details here.

Some would think that a better solution might be to put the characters in the hands of a creative team that knows what it's doing and actually promote the book, but I suppose trashing the magnum opus of one of the acknowledged masters of superhero comics is a valid approach too.

Copper

I find myself pleased with Copper, a webcomic with about 30 large (classic Sunday size) pages, currently on hiatus. So you could run through the whole run of the strip in a lunch break.

The first couple of pages are a bit iffy; it finds its feet as a kid-and-dog Nemo-influenced travelogue with strip #4.

I suppose I need to check out the artist's main strip now....

Via, if I recall properly, the links page at Flaky Pastry (also worth your attention).

Jason Woodrue, eat your heart out!

On Saturday, a man disguised himself as a tree and tried to rob a bank in New Hampshire. Details here. Fortunately, this menace to society has been caught.

Personally, I always preferred Marvel's Plantman to DC's Floronic Man.

Chary on Thor

Curmudgeon Emeritus Mike Chary has a post about Thor on his own blog. Go read it -- it's good stuff.

A Midsummer Day's Curmudgeons Con

This Saturday coming up is the second one in July, so you know what that means: A bunch of Curmudgeons will be descending on Manny's Coffee Shop & Deli in Chicago to enjoy some lunch and conversation. As usual, anyone and everyone is welcome. We usually show up about 1:00 to eat, and then we often do something after lunch, such as going to play bar trivia (or just going to a non-trivia bar for drinks). This week, there's been some talk about taking in some of the new sites around Chicago. Come along, if you can.

Sunday Song Lyric

Let's hear it for Joe Strummer, the only guy in rock I can think of with a Gardner Fox-esque name that supplies his job description. I mean, when you're named Roy G. Bivilo, you've pretty much got no choice but to become a costumed villain with color themed powers, and when you're name Joe Strummer, you've pretty much got no choice but to play guitar.

To be fair, Joe Strummer was born John Mellor -- he changed his name to Joe Strummer in his early 20s. But let's give hm some credit. Declan McManus, Jeffrey Hyman, Reginald Dwight, Simon Beverley, Richard Penniman, John Lydon, Richard Starkey, John Cummings -- they all changed their names. But only Mellor had the guts to pick a name as on-the-nose as "Strummer." OK, maybe Mellor and Beverley.

So like I said, when your name is Joe Strummer, you're pretty much guaranteed to be a guitar player, just like Edward Nigma is guaranteed to be obsessed with riddles. It's just the way the world works.

But enough about names. Strummer was, of course, the driving force behind the Clash along with fellow guitarist and singer, Mick Jones. The Clash was a great band, with lots of great music that brought politics and punk together. Their London Caling album is rightly hailed as one of the great rock albums of all time. The rest of their ctalog is pretty impressive, too. Their debut album (entitled simply "The Clash") is raw and full of energy. Sandanista! is an ambitious triple album that is full of great stuff. And the last album the Clash did with the core lne-up intact -- Combat Rock -- is, in my opinion, as good as London Calling. After the Clash fell apart in the mid-80s, Strummer more or less disappeared from music. He would pop up now and then, with an album here and a performance there, but for 15 years, he wasn't producing much music. In 1999, Strummer formed a band called the Mescaleros, and they put out 3 albums before Strummer's untimely death. If you've seen HBO's new show "John From Cincinnati," they are using a Mescaleros song ("Johnny Appleseed") as the theme.

But let's get back to Combat Rock. As I said, the Clash were the perfect blend of politics and punk, and that fact came through loud and clear on two tracks on this album. One of them -- "Straight to Hell" -- is one of my favorite songs by any artist. I'm not quoting it here, though, because it's mostly about Viet Nam War Orphans, an issue that's not as relevant today as it was 25 years ago when this song was recorded.

The other, sadly, is still as relevant, and you can easily set new footage to its lyrics without missig a beat:

Remember, kids: you have the right to free speech. As long as you're not dumb enough to actually try it.

Know Your Rights
The Clash

This is a public service announcement
With guitar
Know your rights all three of them

Number 1
You have the right not to be killed
Murder is a crime!
Unless it was done by a
Policeman or aristocrat
Know your rights

And number 2
You have the right to food money
Providing of course you
Dont mind a little
Investigation, humiliation
And if you cross your fingers
Rehabilitation

Know your rights
These are your rights
Wang!

Know these rights

Number 3
You have the right to free
Speech as long as you're not
Dumb enough to actually try it.

Know your rights
These are your rights
All three of em
It has been suggested
In some quarters that this is not enough!
Well..............................

Get off the streets
Get off the streets
Run
You dont have a home to go to
Smush

Finally then I will read you your rights

You have the right to remain silent
You are warned that anything you say
Can and will be taken down
And used as evidence against you

Listen to this
Run

Well, Expletive

I have been told that Dev-Em shows up in Action Comics #851 as a homicidal nutjob, despite my irrefutable argument otherwise.

A while back, I speculated about James Robinson's mental state before getting the Golden Age gig:

Gee, I really loved reading about Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern. I just love those old stories. Boy, if I get a chance to write Alan, I'm going to do him right! I'm going to make him an ineffective guilt-ridden neurotic!

Same holds here. There are plenty of Phantom Zone villains to choose from, especially if you have Mark Waid on speed-dial. Why use up the name of the Kryptonian survivor who isn't a Phantom Zone villain and who doesn't fit the clichéd mold you're going for?

Howling Trivia

Friend of HC and all-round whiz Tom Galloway makes the following request:

This year's San Diego Pro/Fan Trivia will have Len Wein and Mark Waid (plus two to be named) going up against Tom Galloway, Terence Chua, David Oakes, and Hal Shipman. I'm looking for people to write questions for it, with this year's theme being "The Multiverse". Specifically, we're looking for questions about stories that have characters from parallel worlds meeting up (i.e. Imaginary Stories don't count). For the purposes of this, any substantially identical Earth counts, so Marvel's Counter-Earth is eligible as are the DC/Marvel crossover books such as Superman vs. Spider-Man and Batman vs. Hulk even though those were fudged to appear that the characters were from the same Earth.

Email me at Tom.Galloway@gmail.com for more details about writing questions and who to send them to. Do *not* send me actual questions; since I'm playing, I'd just have to toss them out as having already been seen by me.

The Triumphant Return of the Quick Review (of the New Comics Release List)! 7-5-07

As reports began to trickle in of Curmudgeons readers staggering into comic book shops all around the world, shaken and intimidated by a wall of new comics every week that they had no way to make sense of, I knew I had a moral obligation to swing back into action -- for when it comes to new comics, if wisdom has a name, that name is THE QUICK REVIEW! Rest easy, friends -- once again you will have the benefit of my sort-of insight and vague recollections of once having heard of a particular title. I know, I know: How did you survive the last four weeks without my help? I don't know, but let's hope you don't ever have to find out again.

Um, yeah. Anyway, on with the show, this is it!

========================================================

• AIT/PlanetLar offers Black Diamond #2 (of 6): Something about a violent cannonball run on an elevated highway? I'm told by a buddy that the first issue was typical decompressed setup, but he had high hopes of actual racing and such happening in this issue.

• Avatar Press has a bunch of Lady Death stuff and then some zombie living dead stuff. Original thinkers over there at Avatar Press. Hey, here's an idea -- how about the "Lady Death: Fully-Clothed Special #1!" Yeah, you're right, it'd never sell.

• Dork Storm Press has a couple of releases this week: Dork Tower Collection Vol 5 Understanding Gamers TPB New Ptg (Gamers are dorky! Who knew?) and PS238 #24. Greg Morrow continues to endorse PS238 as being very good Hey Kids -- Comics! fun, but I have yet to give it a shot. I need to find the first collection somewhere.

Our favorite mid-major, Dark Horse Comics, has a few noteworthy releases this week:

• City of Others #3 (of 4). I still think this title sounds cool, even if I know virtually nothing about it.

• Classic DC Character #2 Batman, $49.99. A 5"-tall statue (wow, a ten bucks an inch). Okay.

• Usagi Yojimbo Vol 21 Mother of Mountains TPB. Yay! The new Usagi trade! Now is the time in the Quick Review when we dance!

• Who Wants to be a Superhero Feedback (One Shot). People who like superheroes are dorky! Who knew?

DC Comics gets biz-ay this week with:

• Action Comics #851. Geoff Johns and Richard Donner write Superman together. Survey says? "No interest."

• All New Atom #13. Enh.

• All Star Superman #8. We have had a veritable torrent of All-Star Superman this year!

• Amazing Transformations of Jimmy Olsen TPB. I want to write a miniseries in which Jimmy Olsen gets magically transported to various alternate worlds from popular non-comics media. Jimmy Olson versus Predator. Jimmy Olsen in the Matrix. Jimmy Olsen Goes to Hogwart's.

• Black Canary #1 (of 4). Who's doing this? Is it any good?

• Catwoman 13 Inch Deluxe Collector Figure, $69.99. Is she bending over some laundry?

• Countdown #43. Oh, you can say you're reading it because the story is actually good -- and crack addicts smoke for the flavor.

• Detective Comics #834. Paul Dini brings us more Dark Knight hijinx.

• Faker #1 (of 6). Hey, it's a comic about [insert the name of a "hot" DC or Marvel comic book writer]'s career!

• Golden Age Dr Fate Archives Vol 1 HC. I have a nagging suspicion that these stories probably don't hold up all that well, but maybe I'm wrong.

• Jonah Hex #21. In this issue, can Jonah save the town of Dry Gulch by winning their annual sausage-eating contest? O cursed and inexplicable strip of skin o'er my mouth!

• Justice League Unlimited #35. Fun!

• Nightwing #134, Outsiders #49, Supergirl #19, and so forth.

• Women of the DC Universe Batgirl Bust, $45.00. Yes, I'm sure "bust" figures prominently in this piece. In fact, they should just call this line "Busts of the DC Universe."

• Y The Last Man #57. Still?

Image Comics has a li'l sum'n sum'n as well:

• Astounding Wolf-Man #2. I'm not sure "astounding" is quite the word I'd use...

• City Of Heroes #20. Still?

• Dynamo 5 #5. After the first issue, I've not seen a single issue of this in a store. I think they may want to go ahead and get that first trade out ASAP.

• Invincible Vol 8 My Favorite Martian TPB. Fun! Usagi and Invincible trades in the same week -- life is good.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like Marvel Comics?

• Daredevil Battlin Jack Murdock #2 (of 4). I'm sure by issue two the retcons are flying fast and furiously.

• Essential Defenders Vol 3 TPB. You know, the Defenders was almost never as cool a comic as it should have been.

• Irredeemable Ant-man #10 (World War Hulk). Maybe the Hulk steps on him. That'd be cool.

• Marvel Two-In-One #1. Sadly, not what you think. They're not bringing the team-up book back. No, it's a reprint of a couple of recent comics (Marvel Adventures #1 and X-Men First Class #1). Lame.

• Ms Marvel #17. Don't you hate it when your supersuit rides up your crack?

• New Avengers Transformers #1 (of 4). 'Cause we likes our commercialism as crass as you can make it.

• New Warriors #2 CWI. The obvious "From the ashes..." thing is just really icky here (okay, maybe we can't take it as crass as you can make it afterall).

• Thor #1. J. Michael Straczynski brings back the Odinson. Oh. Joy.

• Ultimate Power #6. Based on this cover (click on the pic for the larger cover image), our dream of an "all hot lesbian Marvel sex special" is almost here (oh, like it's not gonna happen in our lifetime).

• Uncanny X-Men #488. Jeez, 488? Damn, I feel old.

• Union Jack London Falling TPB. I would probably like this better if it were called "London Calling" and Union Jack teamed up with the Clash to stop an insane Bob Geldof who's stolen a suit of Dr. Doom armor and is rampaging across the Welsh countryside.

And now for our Random Comics Spotlight:

Fenickx Productions LLC presents: Archaic #7.

With a name like "Archaic," what are the odds that a young lady wearing a cleavage-revealing outfit while wielding a sword is involved?

Oooh, so close! Shoulda guessed "revolver" instead of sword.

Well, the links don't seem to work in my browser (Firefox), and unfortunately that's all the time we have for this week on the Quick Review. Oh well!

Anyway, welcome back! Always remember your dreams are your ticket out. See ya next week, gang!

Senioritis

In The Incredibles, the big set piece in the middle of the film is the kids' fight against the guys in the buzzsaw fliers.

The kids are doing all right. They're struggling, and they're taking some licks, but they're staying lucky and they're winning. But they're new at this, and they're struggling, and they're getting lucky and it probably can't last.

Then their parents show up, two very experienced superheroes, and with a few swift actions, taken quickly and confidently, they take out several enemies, showing the kids how it's done.

It's really pretty nifty structurally, because on the one hand, you are showing how much experience matters, contrasting the kids' inexperience with the adults' long-earned skill. But at the same time, you've got the traditional paradigm of the child-parent relationship: the parent as competent intercessor between the child and the world, insulating the child from its own incompetence and protecting it from all threats.

Now, in superhero comics, it's very common to find junior and senior superheroes on the same team. We usually get training sequences in various kinds of Danger Room and other sorts of mentoring. But how often do we really see, in combat scenarios, the difference in skill and experience, as we do in this scene in The Incredibles? Where the juniors are doing as well as can be expected, but the seniors are just plain more effective.

Maybe it's more memorable in the movie because the relevant scene is long and has relatively few characters. In a typical superhero book, you'd rarely have fewer than six characters in such a fight, often eight or more.

It's also the case that there's a lot of easy conflict in such a scene. You don't find any of it in Bird's story, because the scene exists to set up the happy family reunion, but you could certainly make the juniors respond less than positively to the seniors. Junior resents the senior showing off (generational conflict); junior feels they could never live up to senior's example (self-doubt).

It would be interesting to try to set up a scene like Bird's in a typical superhero comic. I think one of the keys is that there's no overt acknowledgement that the seniors kick way more ass than the juniors. There's no "And that's how it's done, chum!"; the characters are too busy being relieved by being reunited. And with no rivalry, the seniors are set up as role models for the juniors.

But then I'm letting my prejudices slip through. I've always preferred superheroes who were role models (and thus preferred DC Silver Age). I'm less interested in the characters who are so flawed that there's nothing in them to admire, nothing in them that inspires.

When Personnel Changes!

It is with regret that I announce that Mike Chary has become a Curmudgeons emeritus.

The other Curmudgeons wish Mike the best of success in his future pursuits.

Sunday Song Lyric

It's almost July 4, which means that -- in the United States, anyway -- it's a time of patriotism. Everyone is (in theory, anyway), running around being proud to be an American.

Patriotism is great for superhero comics because it gives characters a ready-made motivation. Sure, you've got your "My parents/father figure/brother was killed and I use my powers to prevent tragedy from befalling others as a result" motivation, and that seems to work pretty well for Batman, Spider-Man, and a bunch of others. But it's a bit wordier than "I fight for America/Canada/Estonia/Upper Volta!" Heck, even Superman co-opted "the American Way" as part of his motivation.

So the patriotic character is one of the mainstays of superhero comics because, by and large, it works. Captain America is great. He's one of my favorite superheroes. He's just so sincere, you can't help but like him. And there have been a bunch of other patriotic heroes over the years, both U.S. American (Uncle Sam, Commander Steel, U.S.Agent) and otherwise (Captain Cannuck, Captain Britain, Hauptmann Deutschland, and hey -- don't you like how I lumped most of the world into "and otherwise?"),

And then there's the Flag Smasher, who is one of the most criminally underutilized characters in the Marvel Universe. He's every right-wing fear of one-world government rolled into one character. I'd love to create a corporate globalization counterpart to him and let the two of them battle it out with Captain America caught in the middle.

Anyway, in honor of American Independence Day, here's a patriotic song. It's not patriotic in the way President Reagan thought it was, but I think it still speaks to the American Dream and reminds us that our country is founded on a great promise -- a great promise we should keep.

Born in the U.S.A.
Bruce Springsteen

Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog thats been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up

Born in the U.S.A., I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A., born in the U.S.A.

Got in a little hometown jam
So they put a rifle in my hand
Sent me off to a foreign land
To go and kill the yellow man

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man said son if it was up to me
Went down to see my v.a. man
He said son, dont you understand

I had a brother at khe sahn
Fighting off the viet cong
Theyre still there, hes all gone

He had a woman he loved in saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms now

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
Im ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run aint got nowhere to go

Born in the U.S.A., I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A., Im a long gone daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A., born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A., Im a cool rocking daddy in the U.S.A.