Because, when you get right down to the bottom of it, it's those county commissioners who aren't REALLY Texans. Otherwise, they would know the following true facts that have existed since the Alamo and before:

First, Texas is made up ENTIRELY of people who got kicked out of every decent state in the union. That's the only reason anybody would come there before air-conditioning was invented.

Second, we accepted every misfit, no questions asked, EVEN INCLUDING PEOPLE FROM CALIFORNIA. Heck, we accepted MURDERERS, as long as they didn't talk about it too much.

Third, the first Babtist preachers in Texas set up their church right next to the whorehouse. Whatever they didn't approve of, that's the people they SOUGHT OUT, made friends with. They WANTED those people to be right across the street from em. Whether they came to church or not, they accepted em.

Fourth, nobody in Texas ever believed in "family values." We're talking the White Trash Capital of the World. There's never been a functional family in the whole history of the state. What Texans always believed in was COMMUNITY values--meaning everybody in town, no matter how different they were at first, was included.

We always needed every immigrant we could get. As the Lyle Lovett song says, "No, you're NOT from Texas, but Texas wants you anyway."

--Joe Bob Briggs, "Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In" for 12/10/93