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| Affleck and Damon in Some Like It Hot | Humor |
 Why did I make an image of Ben Afflek and Matt Damon as Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in Some Like It Hot? It started with thinking of Angelina Jolie as a Marilyn Monroe, actually, and just went all to hell from there...
Image-wise, I'm not very happy with it, and I really should just start over with better images, but I haven't found a really good, really large photo to start from. I need lots of pixels for this stuff...
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| .:Posted by Michael at 11:51 AM
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| The name is Kong. King Kong... | Humor |
The line I decided not to put in the poster was "Gay-rillas in our midst...", since that's sorta overkill...
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| .:Posted by Michael at 02:47 AM
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| Eyebeam, therefore I Am | Humor |
Sam Hurt's Eyebeam was a big favorite in college, and I always wished it hadn't petered out. Now some of the best strips are being reposted, including a few that weren't in the collections and the
one I have hanging on the wall.
Go Sam. New stuff, please, of the funny kind.
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| .:Posted by Michael at 10:19 PM
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| Today I made two coworkers Popes. | Humor |
"It don't know how you find all the weird stuff you find on the internet..."--RST, about me
Pope CardPOEE Pope Cards. The Internet only makes it easier to be weird. I read Principia Discordia while I was in High School and I still have that copy, so I could've come home, taken apart my Principia, and mimeographed the card, but now I can laser print a Pope Card in seconds at the office...
Hooray for the modern world.
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| .:Posted by Michael at 03:54 PM
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 An (anonymous at hir request) friend received this unusual object for a wedding present and has been trying to identify it. The guesses range from "hot-wheels ramp" to "post modern candy dish" to "decorative thingy with no purpose" (I know people like that...).
They're all wrong. I saw this thing on an episode of Star Trek. It was in Kirk's bedroom (this may have been in Mirror, Mirror, or perhaps it was in the Animated Series (where they introduced Cat Girls to animated American SF...)).
The only thing it could possibly be is a Commemorative Star Trek James Tiberius Kirk Condom Dish.
I mean, really. Does anything else make more sense?
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| .:Posted by Michael at 10:01 PM
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| New Friends on the Internet... | Humor |
I have an easy IM to remember. It has no numbers in it and it's basically name+intial. Sometimes it's too common an IM address. Sometimes I get random messages from strangers who think they know me.
whos this?
crappity crap. It's gonna be another teenage girl, like the basketball chick.
Michael. Who are you?
We'll start with a polite greeting, just in case I'm wrong...
emily
I do know an Emily...
are you lauras boy
...but she knows how to use apostrophes and is better than 50% on question marks and capitalizes proper names. And she knows I'm not anyone's boy.
No, sorry. You''ve got a wrong IM address.
The test! Will I be called a liar?
a/s/l?
Worse! The bored teen wants to chat!
do you go to dixie?
"I wanna go back to Dixie, want to be a dixie pixie, it's the only little ole place for little ole me..." Oh, wait, that's Tom Lehrer, not me.
age...sex...location???
I...am...ignoring you.
HELLO!
McFLY!
No, I don''t. You''ve got a wrong IM addy
Go-away, again. "Third verse, same as the first, Texas accent five times worse."
okay, thanx! age.. sex..location???
My momma told me never to talk to strangers.
man what the fuck???
especially teenage girls who might really be sweaty middle aged men named Berthold.
where the fuck do you live? thats all i wanna know?
And when you ask so sweetly, darlin', do you have any wonder why the boys come runnin'?
It was real, but then I remembered how to block an IM address.
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| .:Posted by Michael at 11:28 PM
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| I've got your Manifesto Right Heeeeere! | Humor |
So, I read Kuff's recent post Slacktivist takes on "Left Behind". I don't have any comment on the contents, because the orthodoxy or heterodoxy of post-Rapture Christian Fiction is pretty irrelevant to my life. However, I did have the following email exchange with the mighty Kuff.
Me:'Slacktivist takes on "Left Behind"'-- I can't decide if I was disappointed or relieved that this wasn't about pinko-commie gay porn...
Kuff:Now you've done it. I'm trying to imagine what pinko-commie gay porn would be like. Damn you, Croft!
Me:"Tractor Pull"--hot hot hot heroic-worker-on-means-of-production action. After years of submission to the bourgeoisie, the workers of the world rise up, losing their chains. When the proletariat becomes dominant, it's "from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs!" -- 69 minutes, rated NC-17
At one point my wife and I discussed what libertarian porn would be like. It's amazing how similar it is to the pinko-commie stuff...
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| .:Posted by Michael at 12:23 AM
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RK Mulholland's
Something PositiveSomething Positive is a consistently smart, funny webcomic that is only peripherally about gamers. That's actually a point in it's favor. The gamers in S*P are dysfunctional is ways that aren't really connected to their gaming lives.
And yet, when he talks gaming, Mulholland gets it right. Steve Jackson (who looked exactly like that when I met him at a con in Houston in the 1980s) is using Mulholland's "Redneck Trees" in Munchkin 3: Clerical Errors.
The player "Mike" in the Redneck Trees strip is a perfect example of the kind of player that makes a GM ban cross-gender play.
And Evil Stevie is right. We played Illuminati:New World Order late into the night before John's wedding. Much fun was had by all.
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| .:Posted by Michael at 12:01 AM
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U.C. Berkeley psychologists identify causes of conservatism
In "Political Conservatism as Motivated Social Cognition", four researchers at Berkeley identified the following psychological causes of political conservatism:
- Fear and aggression
- Dogmatism and intolerance of ambiguity
- Uncertainty avoidance
- Need for cognitive closure
- Terror management
It is unclear if the Berkeley psychologists intend to blame society or conservatives' parents.
I have not been to the Heritage Foundation Website yet to see if they have a list of causes of liberalism.
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| .:Posted by Michael at 02:55 PM
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| Comics Geekery: The Legion of Substitute Super Pets | Humor |
Nicolas Juzda wrote a comic script to go with this cover and put it up on Fanzing
1.) ADVENTURE COMICS ("... starring THE LEGION OF SUPER- HEROES!")
Title: "Meet the Legion of Substitute Super-Pets!"
Cover: Four animals -- all sporting li'l, bitty red capes with the distinctive shielded "S" of SUPERMAN fame -- are in the foreground: "Winky, the Super-Gerbil"; "Butch, the Super-Manatee"; "Louise, the Super-Osprey"; and "Adolphus Q. Paddywhacker, the Super-Cockroach." Winky is off to one side, being noisily and violently sick; Butch is mooning, lovesick, over a photograph of a smiling Bouncing Boy, held in one massive flipper; and a grimly determined Louise is scurrying after a shrilly shrieking and blubbering Adolphous, clearly hellbent upon gobbling him up, whole.
In the background, Superboy, Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy and Lightning Lad are watching all of this transpire; frowns of consternation creasing their handsome, teenaged features.
"Great Krypton!" a (plainly) incredulous Superboy is exclaiming. "Four more creatures surviving the destruction of my homeworld... and each one possessing all the incredible same super-powers as I!"
"... and if we can't get them to work together, somehow," an equally astonished Saturn Girl adds; "... then the entire30th Century is DOOMED!"
The story does justice to the cover.
"'I'm not sure it's a good idea to put a girl's mind into a super-powerful body, even an animal one, but this is a desperate time,' Superboy adds. Since, let's face it, he would have said something like that."
Recommended Reading.
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| .:Posted by Michael at 05:18 PM
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| Why DPS was worried about Pete Laney! | Politics |
They were afraid he'd fly to Mena, Arkansas.
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| .:Posted by Michael at 12:44 PM
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| Odds Chart: Who Kills Mace Windu? | Humor |
Based on a conversation on a mailing list I frequent, where someone suggested that Baby Fett should be given the Minority Report pre-crime execution treatment...
At 10:07 AM 5/21/2002, Pete wrote:
>Why bother? Going strictly by the films so far, Boba
>Fett doesn't kill *anyone*. The "most feared bounty
> hunter in the galaxy" has the lowest body count of
>any of the characters in the series, including Wicket
>and Jar Jar.
>
> Maybe Boba Fett will get his kill
>on in Episode III. We can only hope.
Based on the Inigo Montoya model, I expect Boba 'seven with one blow' Fett to have Mace Windu's blood on his hands, but I can't possibly see how. Perhaps he's the most feared bounty hunter based on one lucky shot...
To me, that's the interesting thing for Ep 3: Who whacks Windu?
| 5:2 | Windu gives in to his BMF anger, goes darkside and Yoda gives him a lightsaberroot-canal. | | 10:1 | Boba Fett, with Slave One, in the asteroid field | | 8:1 | Jar-Jar, whose ears fold up into a familiar hood to reveal that he is secretly Darth Sidious, touches the purple lightsaber and Mace dies of apoplexy. | | 6:1 | In a tense scene where Mace is questioning Amidala about who twisted the promising Padawan towards the dark side, she admits to her role and then stabs Mace with the dagger hidden in her bosom[1]. She later denies everything and marries Bail to prevent him from testifying at her trial. | | 9:2 | In a moment of Jedi clarity induced by smuggled Corelian Spice, Mace has a vision of the future. He screams "Yub Yub! Yub YUB!" and puts his lightsaber under his chin and flips the power switch.
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--
Michael
[1]"All Women have hidden daggers in their bosoms."[2]
[2] Or so says SPI's "John Carter Warlord of Mars"
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| .:Posted by Michael at 12:27 PM
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File13 looks at a comedy writer job description...
Comedy Writing Position 2
John Kiely
We are seeking creative writers that have a flare for comedy to write short descriptions (10-20 words per description) for everyday objects, such as a "banana".
My Entry...
Flare:An illuminated attention getting device used to prevent accidents when an unusual obstruction on a roadway. Compare a "Flare for comedy", which is the same device stuck up a comedy writer's butt, for humorous effect.
I know I won't get the job not just because I'm not applying, but because I didn't follow the rules. However, comedy is all about not following the rules...
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| .:Posted by Michael at 08:55 AM
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| You can do better than that.... | Humor |
Today's Family Circus Joke:
And it was to preserve the integrity of jokes of this caliber that he got Dysfunctional Family Circus shut down?
For old times sake, I would have captioned it "Look Mommy, the new president is smoking those same cigars that you and Auntie Monica gave to the other guy!"
But I probably wouldn't have won...
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| .:Posted by Michael at 09:02 AM
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