This one needs some explaining. Bob Kanefsky wrote a wonderful song called Nobody's Moggy Lands, which combines the stories of Eric Bogle's No Man's Land and Nobody's Moggy, Now"

Not one to let a joke be insufficiently stretched, I noted that "No Man's Land" refered to Private Willie McBride and decided that the effort could be extended by adding the traditional song Arthur McBride (also the source of the tune, here) to the mix.

Ceili's Muse sung it once or twice. You can judge the results below.

MOGGY McBRIDE

I once had a kitten named Moggy McBride
And she went a-walking along the roadside
With an arch to her back and a spring to her stride
'Twas just as the day was a- dawning

As she was a-walking along the concrete
She spied some wee field mice she wanted to eat
But the vermin were safely across the wide street
They were playing mice games in the morning

O Moggy they said if you were over here
We'd all be a running and cowering in fear
But we're happy and singing and full of good cheer
'Cause you won't cross the road in the morning

Na faith, says young Moggy, I ken it mysel'
You want a large truck to run over my tail
I'll not let a large truck run over my tail
At seven o'clock in the morning

Oh we're not afraid of you Moggy the Cat
You're lazy and ugly and stupid and fat
You're lazy and ugly and a wee bit too fat
To run cross the road in the morning

Ye needna be worried about your fine tail
If you had half a brain then we'd all quake and quail
It's lucky for us that you're dumb as a rail
Or we'd be your breakfast in the morning

Ye needna be bragging about your sharp claws
How they are like knives on the ends of your paws
Why din't you go stick them upside of your nose
And leave us alone this fine morning?

I'm blessed said the kitten, if I'll take more of that
From you or from any old seed-eating rat
The traffic is slow I'll cross in no time flat
Then she ran on the road without warning

I'll get to those fieldmice however I can
She said as lept and she dodged and she ran
She crossed the eastbound lane by dodging a van
That honked as it passed in the morning

She said to herself well I'm halfway I trow
With her little heart beating a row-didi-dow
She lept further on with a shrill piercing "Miow"
That shattered the calm of the morning

She felt an odd rumbling deep inside her breast
She yowled as she quickly looked up in distress
She was hit by a Mac truck that was heading due west
That came round a curve without warning

As for the small fieldmice they laughed til they cried
For now they're well rid of young Moggy McBride
They laughed at the kitten which lately had died
And they'll not be et up in the morning

And as for the Mac truck it didn't slow down
It drove round the corner with nary a sound
But the "thonk!" of the back wheels going over a mound
That had been a young cat just that morning