* Iron Chef Texas

"Now hush, Jeremy! Just play along. Iâve got it all worked out." She stepped forward and brought herself to the attention of the giant, half-buried in the baking desert.

"Oh Mighty One! I have been sent from the center of order to ease your suffering! I ask you to grant me the boon of an audience."

The voice of the giant was deafening. "Why should I?"

"Two reasons, My Lord: The first is that I present you this tasty quotemeister. He is bound and gagged and has no email access. You may abuse his quotes while he squirms and then you can devour him at your convenience."

Jeremy struggled. His eyes showed his fear. Could she have brought him all this way as a sacrifice?

"Second, Oh Powerful One, I know your secret craving, which I will satisfy for you."

"You do?"

"I do."

The quotemeister fought against his bonds, wishing heâd asked the girl for details of her plan. He was glad that the giant was buried up to the waist, because some secret cravings did not bear considering.

Orinda picked Jeremy up, and grinned at him. Her back was to the half-buried giant. She brought him close to her. "Trust me," she whispered, "thisâll work out." She threw him to the ground, roughly. Jeremy hoped he would live long enough to care about the bruise.

"And now, my lord, I approach empty handed. I can...soothe your pain."

Orinda walked forward, hands over her head. The buried giant raised his rocklike fists, but let Orinda approach. She reached up and began, slowly, to rub his distended belly.

His arms dropped to the sand and he sighed, raising dust storms that almost overcame Jeremy. The giant was obviously buried too far from his toothbrush, Jeremy thought.

She began singing to him in soothing tones. The giant closed his eyes in pleasure. Jeremy almost believed he could hear the giant purr.

Jeremy watched in mild disgust as his designated devourer received an inordinate amount of pleasure from someone that, he now realized, he had trusted overmuch.

The red cloud gathered slowly, centered on Jeremyâs continually struggling form. Orinda merely raised her voice and began to rub the giantâs belly with both hands.

The giantâs eyes snapped open when she abruptly stopped. "Goodbye, evil one!" she shouted as the cloud unleashed a torrent of lighting bolts that utterly destroyed it.

She unshackled the quaking quotemeister and dragged him to his feet. He could not restrain himself "How did you do that?"

She grinned and reached into his pocket and removed a red jewel on a golden chain. "I planted this on you so that he wouldnât detect it on me. If Iâd failed and heâd eaten you and the Jewel, then that would probably have done him in, too."

"The Jewel? But how? Why would King Martin let you have it?"

Orindaâs grin became positively smug. "My dear Mr. Zimmerman, it would be terrifically unwise to underestimate the power of a Noonah..."

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Votes: 7+9+8+6
Total: 30
Comments:
"Too much garlic."
"Very imaginative. I liked the visualization involved. Made me chuckle.
King Martin is scary but I think it is well done."
"nice balance of ideas"
"Didn't get to the Noonah until the very end. And what good is a quotemaster with no email access?"

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