I found myself fast forwarding through "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" the other day (we loves our PVR, yes we does), trying to home in on the non-suck portions of the movie. They were few and far between (any action scene featuring Obi-Wan, basically), but at least more numerous than in "The Phantom Menace." While rewinding the Obi-Wan/Jango Fett duel for the nth time, it finally dawned on me why the two prequels, to date, have been so bad. It was so obvious, I could pull the ears off a gundark for not thinking of it sooner.
But let's back up a bit. You've heard the criticisms since "Episode I" came out: Lucas writes worse than the bastard child of Jackie Collins and John Grisham; Lucas is drunk on power and no longer listens to the wise counsel of former confidantes like Gary Kurtz; Lucas should hand the writing/directing chores over to someone else; Lucas experimented with trepanation and lost his mind. The howls of protest went up well before the end of that first midnight screening in 1999, and have scarcely abated since.
Is there validity to these claims? Sure, to a point. Even the films in the original trilogy, which most of us still remember through the hazy and idealistic prism of childhood, were written in a stilted and ponderous fashion. Really, "I've got a bad feeling about this" can only be tossed out so many times. And the best line in the trilogy, Han's "I know" to Leia right before being frozen in carbonite, was ad-libbed.
Look at the facts, though: Lucas directed both prequels, sure, but "Return of the Jedi," the movie that allowed a handful of Teddy Ruxpin's country cousins to defeat the most feared military force in the galaxy, was directed by Richard Marquand and co-written by Lawrence Kasdan, who also co-wrote "Empire." Obviously, quality is not wholly incumbent upon who sits in the little folding chair.
So what's the real problem with the prequels? Is it that they lack the loveable rogue character Harrison Ford supplied in the OT? Possibly, though Ewan McGregor allowed a bit of the swashbuckler to seep into his portrayal of Obi-Wan. How about the antiseptic CGI? Could be. Any sense of wonder one had from the earlier movies' special effects is certainly lost when better work is evident in most Pixar releases.
All these avoid the heart of the matter, however. I've heard the love of Star Wars movies compared to being in a relationship with an abusive spouse (and have detailed it myself in another forum), and it isn't too far off the mark. Lucas makes you work for it, struggling to find the one elusive nugget of gold in an otherwise endless river of silt. He continues to up the difficulty factor by refusing to release the first three movies on DVD, and worse, insisting that the original versions (minus Quick Draw McGreedo) will never be released at all. He champions the inclusion of Jar Jar and makes Anakin Skywalker less a tragic hero than a petulant bastard we care nothing about. So why is he doing this?
It's because he wants us to hate these films.
Think about it: do you know anyone who honestly hates Star Wars? I know, I know, every group has some crank who claims they were never impressed when they first saw it on the big screen. We'll leave them to clutch their DVD copies of "The Hidden Fortress" and mutter blackly to themselves. For many of the rest of us, most notably those under the age of 40, "Star Wars" sparked a lifelong love of movies. Even knowing what we do now about Lucas' penchant for "borrowing" from other filmmakers and his reliance on brilliant people around him, we're still hard pressed to find too much fault with the original, much less actively dislike it.
But this is, I believe, exactly what he wants. Maybe he's tired of all the adulation heaped on the original trilogy ("Hey, I directed 'American Graffiti' too!"). Maybe he's getting death threats. Perhaps he even entered into some weird arrangement, a la "The Producers," where he actually stands to make even more money if the prequels fail. I'm not sure of the rationale behind it, but taken in that light it makes a kind of twisted sense.
The man obviously doesn't need any more money. And the backpedaling he did after at one time saying he wanted to make nine movies only cements the idea that he's sick of Star Wars. Granted, he could coast by until his dying day without making another film and his legacy would be complete. Besides, after seeing the impressive job Peter Jackson has done with his two "Lord of the Rings" movies, I doubt Lucas would be missed. If six films are all that are required to tell the story (and "Episode III" will have to be subtitled "Ignoring the Continuity" to help it jibe with the other five chapters), why not have a little fun with them? For example, Anakin is not, as you assumed he was, the sympathetic character who succumbs to his inner demons, but rather an unsympathetic, easily manipulated little prick. What, you thought the Force was this mystical energy field binding the universe together? Wrong, now it's a biological anomaly, akin to having webbed toes or being able to roll your tongue.
Maybe if this was actually Lucas' agenda, I could relax some and enjoy the prequel train wreck a little more. And while I'd like to believe my little conspiracy theory, that sinking sensation comes over me again after carefully selecting the 30 or so bearable minutes of "Episode II." I'll go see "Episode III" when it comes out, but the thought no longer fills me with anticipation like it did a scant five years ago. At most, I have a tiny glimmer of optimism awash in a sea of black dread. And that comes from the prospect of seeing a certain Gungan bite the dust.
The best way I can describe it is like being obligated to attend an aquaintance's housewarming party. He may be an insufferable blowhard who will go to great lengths to gloat over his new pool and home theater system, but hopefully he'll have free beer.
Once again, I've got a bad feeling about this.
But what about the beer?
Your argument is interesting, but still misses the mark. Of course Lucas wants money. Any pretensions he had to art vanished when the first movie hit the century mark (in 1977 dollars, no less). That was when "Star Wars," his stand-alone flick, suddenly evolved into "A New Hope," the fourth chapter of a generations-spanning epic. Yet after making a sequel that actually held together on its own as a film, he's been careening into the abyss ever since.
Lucas' disdain for fans of the movies is well-documented. Maybe he isn't as overtly abusive as Alec Guinness ("These movies are dreck, but I'll keep signing those checks, George.") was, but that Mt. McKinley of cash the Star Wars franchise has brought him only enabled him to avoid communicating with them or attempting to please them at all.
You yourself said that people's standards are higher these days ("Daredevil" notwithstanding), but Lucas doesn't even bother with the minimum required by the sci-fi/fantasy genre, which is the most...forgiving of them all. I'd argue that his movies would have made even *more* money if he'd bothered to reach for that dismally low benchmark.
Finally, and if you're still not convinced by any of that, I offer my trump card in this argument: The Star Wars Holiday Special. No filmmaker with a purported love for his creation would have given it the Bea Arthur treatment. And neither would anyone who was solely interested in making money.
Wow. Having a DVD of Attack of the Clones and a three year old who likes "The Fighting Movie" I've watched it more than once. After a lot of careful analysis I had finally decided that the biggest problem with AotC is that Hayden Christensen (Anakin) is uniquely capably of sucking the life out of any scene he is in.
Unfortunately he is on screen in a significant portion of the movie, and the bits where he isn't there just can't raise the level.
I think I've achieved enlightenment.
Lucas is screwing up the pre-trilogy because he is the only person in the world legally entitled to do so. Anyone can enrich the Star Wars universe, but only Lucas can brutally rape it.
I can't say with confidence that I would pass up such an opportunity myself - especially if I were making millions doing it.
I shall not bore both readers of these comment pages with more of my tired screeds on how the suckage of the Star Wars sequels only narrowly exceeds the awfulness of the original trilogy. I shall instead content myself to say: you are wrong, Pete von der Haar -- wrong, and also ugly and stupid.
No, that's of course what passes for humor among us pinheads; you're just wrong. George Lucas is knowingly executing these insults to the memory of his films, not because of a pact with Satan, not because he told u he was hardcore, not because the Wachowski brothers bet him a dollar he wouldn't do it, but because this strategy of film production guarantees him a victory of sorts in the final analysis.
Consider the position Lucas put himself into. No matter what he did in the newer films, he would wind up hacking off the legions of harcore SW fandom. The script cannot exist that would critically satisfy the masses, because it's not possible to go back and faithfully reproduce the mouthfeel of films from a quarter century ago, where special effects were mostly model-driven, stilted dialogue was expected, and even 3-meter hairy simians parted their hair down the middle in a Sean Cassidy roof.
So if Lucas couldn't win in the court of his fans' universal adoration, he'd win the only other way worth mentioning: at the box office. George Lucas has intentionally made two films that squeeze out every ounce of quality to make room for marketability. His movies are long gee-whiz action sequences linked by dialogue involving cartoons and small children. This allows Lucas to draw in everybody from the smallest to the tallest and promise to deliver something they'll like.
The resulting movies are garbage. They're also successful. They've done very well at the box office. Had Lucas attempted to make a more fan-friendly set of movies, I don't think they'd have done nearly as well; everybody else would have shrugged and not-comprehended and given the movie a miss.
This way, Lucas can shrug off his critics and say look, the movies made a bunch of money, I guess my fans must have liked 'em, so neener neener. Obviously he's not counting on being assassinated when the third movie comes out and it is revealed that Darth knew everybody from the first movies save the Mynocks, but they all succumbed to Forget-O-Rays just in time for Episode IV.
Pete, give up on this unnatural obsession with Star Wars. Go see a charming foreign film. Forget about that poseur Lucas, and come check out my new pool and home entertainment system -- they RAWK.