A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

The Hooters are a folk act tinged with bits of popism. While they got their start on MTV and as "Cyndi Lauper's Band-Before-I-Had-A-Band", they're No Howard Jones.

And I think it's pretty weak to put Lee Greenwood as the sole carrier of the Country Music torch. If One Hit Wonders get their moment, then Bill Ray Cyrus should beat out LaToya.

And I don't see William Shatner or Leonard Nimoy on the list. Surely they aren't superior to Mike and the Mechanics?

Michael
and where's Orrin Hatch?

I always knew I liked crap bands, and that list is the proof: ELP, Oingo Boingo, Alan Parsons, Primus, Skinny Puppy, Arrested Development, Doors and the Gypsy Kings. Well, 14% crapulence isn't all that bad.

And how can you have the Hooters, but not the Outfield? I thought they were essentially the same band!

Is "Benzig" a low-quality import Danzig imitation?

"Me and Lorenzig, rolling in a Benzig..."

I think a fun project would be to go down the list, and for every band find a similar-sounding band that's worse, and then make the authors of the article listen to those bands. Alternatively, when the irony is greater, we can go with the specific bands that the bands on the list got their schtick from. (ICP makes the list and SoD doesn't? That pretty much invalidates it right there.)

(Is it possible they were listing the 50 worst band NAMES? That's a bit more believable, especially with Kenny G and Master P on the list.)

I think "Benzig" is a transcription error (I cribbed the list from a message board).

SOD actually came to mind as I was writing this. I can't see them qualifying simply because they never took themselves as seriously as ICP. The Clownz want to project this bad-ass image, whereas SOD were just goofy.

And there are about thirty 80's bands I'd list before the Hooters, not counting easy targets like Winger and Poison.

How about Cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison?

Primus is going to be pissed they only came in at #22... I'm sure they'd prefer to be in at least the top 7. I'm not even going to start with the bands that should be there...

Who in the hell came up with list. Do you assholes realize the following The Doors have.
You probably never heard any of their music. I
bet you like that manufactured bullshit like Brittney Spears, N'SYNC, and the Backdoorboys.
Get some education in music numb nuts.

im sure the list was better before alot of people got their hands on it...im sure it was like " you cant put THEM on there do you know how many of our readers really like them!...keep it safe and put bands on there that people might disagree w/ but will not stop buying our magazine..." that shit happens so much more than we like to think...its all propaganda....and like the good consumers we eat that shit up...

Pete's sentiment is well taken, the authors of the list are likely twenty somethings -- mid thirties max. What other explanation might one propose for the disproportionate ranks of post 80s artists. I suppose one could argue that there was a reponderance of bad music produced during that period...hum.

Though some have characterised ELP as pretentious, Alberto Ginastera didn't. One can only conjecture how Janacek, Sibelius, Mahler, Copland, and Bach would have criticized those respective variations. Yet, I too, agree with some that the success of ELP’s attempts to fuse rock and Classical remains a valid, UNANSWERED question -- a question that wouldn't even occur to those punk listmaker kids. To really get ELP, one need some knowledge of classical idioms.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s some snot-nosed kid, with the musical experience of a Up With People fan club member living in her mom's basement, spouting off. To quote Barnet Newman respecting artistic criticism: "Aesthetics is to artists as ornithology is to birds."

If the listmakers think they can do better, hell, let'em give it their best shot. They might start with "Das Wohltemperirte Clavier".

The list is very modern in tone and is in one sense the counterpoint to the writings of Joe S. Harrington in Blastitude and David Keenan in "The Best Albums Ever - Honest". What is NEW about it, basically speaking, is the inclusion of som many commercially successful artists from the 1990s (Crash Test Dummies, the Spin Doctors, Live, even one-time critical favourites Arrested Development).

This is a reflection of the denigration of commercial music of the 1990s that is reminiscent of the way in which commercial music of the 1980s has been denigrated since Nirvana. The earlier artists on the list are really so typical of rock critics ever since the 1970s - nothing new, in other words.

The list is very modern in tone and is in one sense the counterpoint to the writings of Joe S. Harrington in Blastitude and David Keenan in "The Best Albums Ever - Honest". What is NEW about it, basically speaking, is the inclusion of so many commercially successful artists from the 1990s (Crash Test Dummies, the Spin Doctors, Live, even one-time critical favourites Arrested Development).

This is a reflection of the denigration of commercial music of the 1990s that is reminiscent of the way in which commercial music of the 1980s has been denigrated since Nirvana. The earlier artists on the list are really so typical of rock critics ever since the 1970s - nothing new, in other words.

Music is subjective.

if icp is on there number one then eminem should be number two whats up with this clown love for life

What is up with all of the one/2 hit wonders? Those are wasted spaces. Toad the Wet Sprocket, Blind Melon, and the Spin Doctors weren't that bad. The writers of the list probably didn't even listen to a whole album bay any of these artists. Yanni is overtrashed, John Tesh is way worse (you might think well, what's the difference? but try listening to both). Why isn't P. Diddy/Puffy on here? He cannot even make an original beat to save his life and all he ever does is steal lines from other rappers' songs, then throw in an obligatory RIP Biggie message. Britney would have been too obvious, but she can't sing and her songs are truly awful.

JKS-child of the 90's :-D

Why the Alan Parsons Project and not some other major crap band like Limp Bizkit or Nirvana?

LOL
This is truly a humiliating moment for the brain dead writing staff of the magazine blender. If they put the doors in there to "just piss some people off", they're trully fucked in the head.

Something is'nt right though...

I took the time to browse in their pathehtic ass website ( waste of fucking precious time) and couldnt find any thing about the doors or jim morrison. Yet they do have links on bands and artists that I never heard of or completly suck ass. Go check it out: It will piss you off so much that you'll laugh your ass off.. http://www.blender.com/guide/html/search_results_D_1.html This is not even the tip of the iceburg either, this is only the D section.
Yet they put doors on their "worst band ever list". Who the hell is "death cab for cutie" or "disco biscuits"? Are they better then the doors? I bet the tarts at blender think so....
So what the fuck do they have against the doors?
Did you see what these lieing SOBs said about morrison: "APPALING FACT: Morrison is widely believed to have
suffered his fatal heart attack while masturbating in the bathtub." This is a complete meritless claim designed to get a responce.Its apparant to everyone that they have such a shitty magazine with tanking sales, existing only because of braindead contingent. I never heard of this "rumor" in my life. Now they're getting spears and agularia dukeing it out, obviously a publicity stunt for all 3 brainless parties.
So anyways, back to where I was...Did they interview one of the surviving doors and realize how truly smart and gifted they were (outsmarting punk blender interviewer) and got jealous and decide not to like them because they're stupid son of a bitches? Maybe..
Did they get sick and tired of hearing about a band that had such a profound influence and astounding effect on such a wide scale and spectrum through generations, genders, racial barriers, etc., but yet, isnt around producing anything; they're lead singer, dead and gone for the past 34 years? Possibly...

Jim Morrisons summnation concludes this the best:
"They hate us because were so good"
Appropriately quoted. I guess people just dont appreciate true talent. "Blender" magazine offically gets the dogpiss of the year award for throwing shit and debunking a band that has been the most proilific in such a short space of time, effecting and influencing listeners to this very DAY. The doors deserve commemoration for they're contributation to music and the arts. Mainly some kick ass rock that these punk ass bitches today dont know or cant understand cause they're to busy fucking there pet begal and melting the shit already in there head with music from mudvane.
Im not ever buying or subscribing to a blender or maxim magazine ever again. Its not just this, its mainly their glorification about everything I hate about today. I suggest this boycott to everyone (except the brain dead, they wont listen anyway, and I doubt they're reading this) and I encourage all that is pissed off by this shit to email these assholes and makelight of this boycott, give them a piece of your mind. Email them: your2cents@blender.com. This applys to maxim too. I wont buy any of their trash either. Not even if Anna kounikova is on the cover. All I would do is look at it and hide the garbage beyond the next line of trash behind it, so it will be in the dark, where it should be, saving time for the next passer by to just, well, to just pass on by, saving them a lobotamy and letting them keep the next precious 20mins of their life.
James.

fuq_u blender magazine

once again I must say, the hooters kick more ass then is humanly possible.
-jess

It is not really true, you know, that Belnder are trying to avoid easy targets (unlike jaguaro's "One Hundred Albums You Should Remove From Your Collection Immediately").

The top ten of the list includes artists who are clearly easy targets: Bolton, Kenny G, Starship, Asia, Kansas, Vanilla Ice, Air Supply - all familiar critical targets. Further on, we see Yanni, Pat boone, Howard Jones, Alan Parsons Project, Creed, Bad English all in the first half alone. However, it is true that Blender does avoid the post-98 degrees boybands.

Nevertheless, though they are not the kind who will not listen to any post-AC/DC artist played on commercial radio, Blender's writers certainly think boybands are bad.

I think there should be an article on the 50 most retarded writers for Blender magazine.