Fangoria has some news on the soon-to-be-unleashed Horror Channel:
Fright fans will soon have a cable station to call their own with The Horror Channel, the first 24-hour national digital genre cable network, which will debut in October 2004. FANGORIA has been given the exclusive scoop on the ambitious project, which will involve many of the industry’s key chillmeisters and broadcast a mix of classic and new fright flicks and television shows, as well as original programming.
“I truly believe we can bring the genre into the limelight, where it deserves to be,” CEO and founder Nicholas A. Psaltos tells Fango. ”There’s no reason why the Horror Channel should not exist and thrive. Comedy Central and Sci Fi are both doing extremely well. Both are very valuable enterprises and they’re each only about a dozen years old. And they are both descendants of movie genres. Today there are the Golf Channel, Food Network and DiscoveryWings. None of these borrows its content from a proven, successful or hugely profitable movie genre. But the Horror Channel does."
Define "extremely well." The Sci-Fi Network has turned to airing John Edwards infomercials disguised as legitimate programming and quasi-reality crap like "Scare Tactics" in order to stay afloat. The first movie aired on the channel was "Star Wars," but this week you can look forward to "Highlander II" and "Highlander:Endgame," both "Sometimes The Come Back" films, and "Steel Dawn," the movie that made Patrick Swayze a household name in Namibia. They do manage to mix in the good film and some classic series here and there, but the channel's decision to air decidedly non-sci-fi fare like "Meet Joe Black" and "Junior" has got it circling the drain. When can we look forward to "Rabbit Test?"
And I'd be more excited about old episodes of "The Outer Limits" and "Twilight Zone" is they didn't consistently air in the 3-5 AM slot.
Comedy Central has actually managed to create original programming that, for one reason or another, appeals to a wide audience. "The Daily Show" is the best news program on right now, and shows like "South Park" and "The Man Show" continue to do well, proving America's affinity for vulgar pre-teens and women with large breasts. Color me surprised.
Channel co-founder Kim Bangash continues:
“It’s hard to believe that no one has put a Horror Channel on the air before,” Bangash adds. ”There have been attempts before that for one reason or another petered out. With the growing penetration of digital cable, today’s environment seems to be the most viable time to launch the Horror Channel. People can now get service with up to 1,000 channels, which makes this idea all the more of a no-brainer. I don’t need to tell you how popular this genre is. It is the last major feature-film genre that does not have a cable channel dedicated to its fanbase.”
Horror has also been the red-headed bastard child of the movie industry for the last twenty years (and before a brief era of popularity in the 1980's, the thirty years before that). Fox had to market "28 Days Later..." as a "viral thriller" because they didn't want the "horror" tag. Both it and "Cabin Fever" have reawakened some interest in the genre, but without more decent films to sustain people's curiosity (I'm not holding out much hope for "House of the Dead"), it won't last.
The Golf Channel works because a ton of people, for some unknown reason, love that golf. Same goes for the Food Network (and besides, how much does it cost to produce a show with one set, two cameras, and one guy making a souffle)? Horror fans, like many sci-fi fans, also tend to own the movies they want to watch. If I can get all the seasons of "Dark Shadows" and the "Alien" director's cut on DVD, why am I going to wait for it to air at 11 PM on a Tuesday night?
Of course, the question on every Fangorian’s lips is whether the programming will be shown uncensored. “Yes,” answers Psaltos. “Films will be uninterrupted and uncut. Older TV series will have the commercial interruptions that were originally edited into them. Some of the more graphic films will probably only be available on our sister Video On Demand channel.” Adds Bangash, “The advent of digital cable allows us many creative ways to keep the movies coming uncut.”
What the hell does that mean? Have you ever seen a horror movie worth its pus that wasn't too graphic? You guys need to define your parameters: blood's okay, but severed heads are out? Bare buns are all right, but naked breasts are verboten? Will we ever get to see Italian films like "Cannibal Apocalypse" or "Suspiria?"
I'm heartened by the news that Bangash and Psaltos have consulted some of the "giants" of the industry (Romero, Carpenter, del Toro) about programming, but...and no disrespect intended...what was the last decent movie Romero released (if you said "The Dark Half," please clean out your desk and leave my blog immediately)? Didn't everybody think "Ghosts of Mars" was crap? I liked "Blade II," personally, but Guilermo del Toro gives a lot of people hives.
Finally, and because no one asked, here are my suggestions for your fledgling network (offers for high-paying creative consultant positions can be left in the Comments section):
1) The movies absolutely, positively, have to be unedited. Unless your film library conists of nothing but things like the original "Haunting" and "Repulsion," the gore must flow.
2) Keep original programming to a minimum. We would rather watch "Frankenstein vs. the Wolfman" for the eleventh time than put up with another poorly conceived, "hip" series that doesn't know anything about the genre. I think anyone who's seen "Lexx" would agree with me.
3) Don't rely entirely on mainstream horror. We want to see Hammer and classic Universal films, but don't forget Abel Ferrara, Takashi Miike, Stuart Gordon...hell, Ed Wood and Roger Corman too.
4) Bring back Count Floyd.
Pleasant screams.
Count Floyd. Comic Genius. "Hoo boy... that was some scary stuff!"
But if Count Floyd is there, they damn well better run Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses also.
Why Comedy Central hasn't ever picked up some of these gems like SCTV, Fridays, or The State instead of crap like The Man Show escapes me. I don't even care if they air it at 3am... my TiVo sees all.
I thought they already had a Horror Channel. It's called The "WB."
Sorry, couldn't resist.