October 20, 2003

Shnook of Lists, Pt. 1

Posted by pete at October 20, 2003 12:58 PM

The human fascination with lists is pretty interesting. Every entertainment magazine has to put together an issue at least once a year or so that details the greatest 100 guitarists or the 100 biggest assh...uh, most powerful people in Hollywood. On the internet, you can find the Friday Five, an archive of David Letterman's Top Ten lists, and much, much more. We love to make lists, complain about other peoples' lists, and link to those lists we might find particularly humorous and/or offensive.

I'd like to tell things are different here at A Perfectly Cromulent Blog, but that ain't the case. Periodically, when nothing particularly interesting is happening in the world of Star Wars or David Blaine, we'll present a short list for your amusement/outrage. Enjoy.

APCB's Top 8 Neils of All Time

Neil Peart - Drummer for Rush. No longer sporting obnoxious ponytail.
Neil Young - Not a spokesman for Coke
Neil Armstrong - "I can see my house from here."
Neil Finn - Formerly of Split Enz and Crowded House. Good musician despite the precious band names.
Neil Gaiman - Sandman creator. Needs a haircut.
Neil Innes - "How sweet...to be an idiot."
Neil Tennant - Talented half of the Pet Shop Boys

Honorable Mention
Edwin Neal - "My family's alway been in meat."

Among those who didn't make the cut: Neil Patrick Harris (APCB has a strict "No Doogies" policy), Neil Diamond (because my mother doesn't write this), and Neil Jordan - who was disqualified for "Interview with a Vampire."

I think you should reconsider Herr Doktor Doogie Houser, SS from Sternenkrieger (by the author of Der Mond ist eine herbe Geliebte)

And I'm not sure if Neil Simon is out, in, or intentionally snubbed. Murder by Death is pretty good, and he did write a few other pieces...

And I suppose that Neal Cassady and Neal Stephenson need to be excluded to prevent questions of Tatum and Ryan O'Neal being raised. C'est La Guerre.

--Posted by Michael Croft on October 20, 2003 4:17 PM

I can understand the omission of Neil Sedaka. But how can I forgive the absence of Neil from the Young Ones from this list? He's, like, the Uber-Neil!

I dunno, man. Every day this blog is getting a little less cromulent, knowwhutimean?

--Posted by HWRNMNBSOL on October 20, 2003 4:44 PM

Invoking "Starship Troopers: The Movie" will win you no friends in these comments, Croft. And I'm not enough of a fan of either Cassady's or Stephenson's to include them over Edwin as my sole "EA" pick.

Anyone else who has a problem with my selections should feel free to come up with alternates on your own dang blog. If, in fact, you have one.

But I meant to include Neil from "The Young Ones," honest. As well as "Kneel before Zod!"

--Posted by Pete on October 20, 2003 8:59 PM

There's a HWRNMNBSOL blog, but it hasn't been updated since 2002.

And Oberst Houser had a pet ferret, which elevates Sternenkrieger to the level of Kindergarden Cop and nearly halfway to the level of Beastmaster.

--Posted by Michael Croft on October 21, 2003 9:28 AM

HWRNMNBSOL decided that blogging wasn't as fun as it looked. I will blog no more forever.

But heckling my friends in their comments -- that's good sport, old bean!

Pete, I forgive you your neilish trespasses. It's a perfectly cromulent top 8 list, and I don't think it should be embiggered at all.

--Posted by HWRNMNBSOL on October 21, 2003 11:12 AM

Oh, I was familiar with the HWRNMNBSOL weblog. My snipe was an attempt to goad you into picking it back up. Ah well.

--Posted by Pete on October 21, 2003 11:36 AM

Did you forget that Dave Barry said Neil Diamond was a god?!
Pete's Mom

--Posted by pete's mom on October 26, 2003 3:21 PM



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