Point-Counterpoint: Pete's An Asshole:
It's not worth complaining to Pete. The louder you complain, the more he seems to enjoy it. I can't stand that! It's like reasoning with a brick wall. Plus, he never apologizes. If he does apologize, it's in this smart-ass, sarcastic fucking way that makes you feel stupid for having been hurt. Sometimes, you want to just grab him by the neck and...
I maintain that I'm misunderstood.
I find this to be a self promotional stunt on the level of G. Rivera being in Afganistan...was he really in Calif? You do not mention the author of said criticsm so he/she must not exist. Your tail gating on a very popular web site where real parody and satire is presented makes the unsavvy and unaware reader beleive you actaully are worth their time. The only people who read this are your friends. Get a job and raise yer kids. Shit!, as a pubicity stunt this is less than a valiant effort to validate your Blog. Hell! Sean Hannity does this daily and I don't listen to him either. Thanks for the premarital advice....'
So does this mean you're my friend? Or simply an "unaware reader?"
As much as I appreciate the comparison to The G-Man, I must apologize for wasting your time. Shit! My "less than valiant effort to validate my blog" must be paying off, given the caliber of anonymous maladroit I've been getting lately. Hell! Anyone who name drops Sean Hannity is obviously not so "unsavvy" that they can't see through my clumsy ruse. And thank you for your concern regarding my non-existent children.
Zowie! Were you "actaully" drunk when you posted, or did the fires of righteous indignation keep you from using spellcheck?
Buck up, Pete. I'm not your friend either.
Sinserely,
HWRNMNBSOL
I'm afraid he's right, Pete. Your blog doesn't validate. The w3c.org validator (http://validator.w3.org/ ) says there are over 300 errors. It made a valiant effort, but it was less than a publicity stunt.
If Sean Hannity really validates your blog daily, you should fire his ass.
I don't know what this person's talking about, Pete, I *never* read this site.
I'm just here for the pictures.
Hannity, if you can't validate a site properly and you do it every day, at least use proper grammar. It's either "keep me out of this asshole" or "keep me out of these assholes", depending on your desire to be kept out of a single or multiple assholes.
And isn't it your responsibility to keep yourself out of assholes if you don't want to be there? Surely you don't think it's the responsibility of the fist of government to intervene?
Actually, the best way to say it would be, "Hey, keep me out of this, you assholes." Notice how the use of the second comma and the word "you" make the sentence's meaning more clear.
I've got to say, I'm a little surprised at the impotent rage expressed by Mr. (or Mrs.) Anonymity in the second comment. Pete may be a hack writer, but at least he has the stones to put his name and some contact info next to his blather. Anyone unwilling to do the same has no strength of conviction and, in all likelihood, is an intellectual coward.
And one would have to be an imbicle to have thought the language quoted in the "Point-Counterpoint" article was either written by, or about, Pete. Any (sober) person with a 6th grade education would have known it was a satyrical blurb from the Onion.
Actually, the best way to say it would be, "Hey, keep me out of this, you assholes." Notice how the use of the second comma and the word "you" make the sentence's meaning more clear.
I've got to say, I'm a little surprised at the impotent rage expressed by Mr. (or Mrs.) Anonymity in the second comment. Pete may be a hack writer, but at least he has the stones to put his name and some contact info next to his blather. Anyone unwilling to do the same has no strength of conviction and, in all likelihood, is an intellectual coward.
And one would have to be an imbicile to have thought the language quoted in the "Point-Counterpoint" article was either written by, or about, Pete. Any (sober) person with a 6th grade education would have known it was a satyrical blurb from the Onion.
Denny, Denny, Denny..
Who are you to know the mind of Hannity? While I will admit that of the three suggestions, yours is no less clear than either of mine, I maintain that mine are more valid because they're funnier. I'd run them through a validator if that's what it takes to demonstrate that, but Hannity's probably using it.
Croft, grammer is no laughing matter. Improper comma usage is about as funny as randomly firing a pistol into a crowd penguins. Okay, maybe that wasn't the best example, but my point is still valid.
Denny:
Au contraire, mon frere! I must assume that you are unfamiliar with Karen Gordon's The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimate Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed
As I am a certified member of at least two of the three target demographics, I wouldn't settle for anything penultimate.
Michael
PS: I ran your point through the validator (Hannity was leaving as I came in, walking bow-legged and muttering imprecations). The results are somewhat cryptic. It said "THE Moose on THE Wall!" I am at a loss.
Actually, Croft, I have a copy of the Associated Press' "Guide To Punctuation" and O'Conner's "The Grammarphobe's Guide To Better English In Plain English" within arms reach at all times. If you only knew how poor my English skills were up until about 4 years ago, you'd know that my tight-assed gramatical remarks are very tounge in check.
So Pete over at A Perfectly Cromulent Blog linked to The Onion's Point/Counterpoint Pete's an Asshole. Light, harmless, perhaps worthy......
| --Posted to Ones and Zeros on Oct 30, 2003 3:38 PM:. |
Denny,
I have a degree in the damn stuff and I can't type without making howling errors that I often later regret. And other times my grammar and spelling are poor.
Gordon's book is really wonderful and very accessible. Any grammar tome that uses the sentence "His huge, calm, intelligent hands wrestled with her confusion of lace" to explore the concept of "the subject" is going to win the day in my writing library. I only regret that it is highly recommended by William Safire.
But I digress from the main point of this evening's symposium. Denny, what do you think causes your violent anti-penguin tendencies?
Let's not get off point, people. We're supposed to be discussing ways of keeping Hannity out of my asshole.
Croft, I have no violent, anti-penguin tendencies. Instead, I was merely ripping off Camus' description of the surrealist movement. In his essay, The Rebel, Camus states that a surrealist would think nothing of walking out into a busy street and firing randomly into the crowd. I figured I'd one-up Camus, because what could possibly be more surreal than firing randomly into a crowd of penguins instead?
Long story short, I thought it provided a morbidly humorous mental image, when compared to the evils of improper comma usage.
Camus? It's hard to take him seriously after hearing the Asylum Street Spankers song "Whatever".
Personally, I thought the penguin-shooting thing was some sort of neo-Proustian/pseudo-Existentialist answer to the question "What's Black And White and Red All Over?"
Now in my corrections of Hannity's grammar, I also avoided the evils of improper comma usage. They were also linked to the subject of keeping Hannity out of Pete's asshole, which is the point.
But on to practicalities. Pete, have you considered Duct Tape?
Sorry, I'm afraid even the amazing power of Duct Tape won't stop Hannity. When he wants something, there's very little that can stand in his way.
Perhaps we can distract him with something else he might find more interesting than Pete's asshole... like electing a Democrat or something *really* heinous.
Hey, kids! there's a flamewar on Pete's blog and everyone's invited!
"War" implies competing forces. All I'm seeing here is some pretty hilarious dogpiling on one guy.
Sorry I haven't been participating more. Had to stock up on tape.
Nice site. Maybe u will find this out interesting http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/mahler
"Mahler: The Man Who Was Never Born is a play which utilizes Goethe's concept of The Faustian Bargain. It is a term that I've coined to indicate an imagined, unearned gain in exchange for one's soul - a barter where-in the recipent is the looser. It is the relinquishing of one's judgement and life and when he places himself in the power of another. One does not get a "free lunch.""-From the Author
Anti-penguin movement be damned. You have been banned for life from FOP (friends of penguins). Speak no more of harm to our feathered friends, for the penguins will not suffer it shall be you. BEWARE! The wrath of the penguins be upon though.
But their argument was sound and elegant.
Don't deny it... you're an asshole, Pete. ;)