November 12, 2003

Back in blacklist

Posted by pete at November 12, 2003 12:35 PM

As entertaining as all the hooplah around people jockeying to get on the NRA's blacklist is, it's ultimately a waste of time. They might as well sign up to be censured by Philip Morris or the makers of Real Doll, for all the risk they're taking. Still, I suppose their hearts are in the right place.

As for the NRA, someone needs to inform them that the purpose of a blacklist is to actually make those who aren't included want to avoid inclusion. The NRA's blacklist is so ridiculously broad it's pretty much meaningless.

For example, one could assume from their list that no one in the NRA will ever require quality legal representation (which seems unlikely) or health care, since they've blacklisted both the American Bar Association and the AMA. Need a brain tumor removed? Better go to Mexico, 'cause the Congress of Neurological Surgeons is on your list. So is the National Parks and Conservation Association (no camping, I guess), Hallmark (handmade cards are more sincere, I think), and Levi Strauss (Wranglers are coming back).

Since NBC, ABC, and CBS are also on the blacklist, NRA members must watch a lot of "Simpsons"...but wait, "Simpsons" producer James Brooks is on the blacklist too! That just leaves "The O.C." and "COPS," or cable.

They just better be careful who their provider is, because Time-Warner's a no-no (that means no HBO, either).

A significant number of NRA members must be Muslim, Hindu, or "other," since the Union of American Hebrew Congregations, the Unitarian Universalist Association, the United States Catholic Conference, the United Methodist Church, the General Board & Church Society, the United Church of Christ, the Episcopal Church, the Congress of National Black Churches, the Govt. Affairs office of the Evganelical Lutheran Church, and the Mennonites are all blacklisted.

NRA Parents are also in a bit of a bind, as Disney CEO Michael Eisner and Nickelodeon President Herb Schannel are also listed. There's always "Davey and Goliath," I suppose.

Here's a thought for the NRA: perhaps the ludicrous number of organizations, individuals, and corporations assembled against you are indicative of a fundamental flaw in your policies? Maybe instead of spasmodically adding every C-list celebrity like Marla Maples (Marla Maples?!) to your enemies list, you should reexamine the stances you've taken on assault weapons and firearms purchasing so you can pare down the "Omni-List" and craft into an effective boycott tool. Then it might actually, I don't know, mean something.

But what do I know? The only firearm I own is "Love Gun" by KISS.