November 22, 2003
Starve your head
Posted by pete at November 22, 2003 1:45 AMWhile leafing through an old magazine earlier, I came across an advertisement for these clowns:
That's the band "Mushroomhead." If it wasn't bad enough that their music is mostly "Pantera Lite," and that they share that "we're not going to show our faces 'cause it's freaky" motif with other gimmick "metal" bands like Slipknot, just look at them for a second.
...
For me, a few things spring to mind:
1. Does the gay Nazi thing really get the chicks? I know, the SS had the best uniforms and all, but damned if those guys don't look like extras from the Blue Oyster scene in "Police Academy"
2. How many members does a band need? I've listened to their music and I can't figure out what half the people pictured are doing. Is this a Public Enemy thing, where half the guys are security and Ministers of Information and such like? Or does one guy bounce around like Bez from Happy Mondays, one guy plays the never-ending keyboard note like the dude in EMF, and another guy plays tamborine?
3. Nothing is worse than being the one guy in the "mask band" who doesn't get to wear a mask. Not even the faux Waffen Gebirgs Division armband can distract groupies from your Bub the Zombie makeup job. I feel for you, brother.
Or rather, I would if you and your band weren't a bunch of white suburban malcontents wailing about how tough it is to be a white suburban malcontent.
Perhaps they're wearing masks because they have something to hide. It may be that the lineup is Sean Hannity, Neil Patrick Harris, Keanu Reeves, and Doug Flutie. Wouldn't you want them to wear masks, especially if the masks covered their mouths?
Re Ska: I think cei's old sig explains this, especially the hat guy.
-----
"Ska bands usually have more members than other
bands. That's because in addition to a regular
band lineup with a singer, you also need a horn
section and one guy whose only job is to wear a hat."
(Dave Lartigue)
At least they're not white suburban malcontents bragging about the skill with which they handle life in the hood.
Other than that, IJLS "horn section": http://flail.com/pictures/mush.jpeg
Its like Hitler became a cenobite, then commissioned a crappy band.
Hold on a second, boyo. Eight is a perfectly cromulent number for a band. From the Lager Rhythms website:
There have been a lot of academic and government sponsored sociological studies in group dynamics in the last several decades. Being the academically-minded group that we are, we would like to contribute the knowledge we've gained from our own intensive research.
In our experience we've found that focus and productivity can be successfully maintained within a group of up to seven members. Beyond seven, groups tend to break down in a variety of ways, including but not limited to, multiple conversations, small book circles, occasional petty bickering, and wild and cackling laughter.
That's why we've always gone with eight.
"7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby!"
I think the Lagers need a horn section.
Actually, in one of our newest songs, Angelo *is* the horn section.
Please tell me you arranged Sublime's "Wrong Way" for a cappella.
Actually, HeeWho, Liz is referring to the LR's tribute to Mushroomhead. Parth is going to dress like the Gay Nazi.
Mr. Out Loud, you are a sick, sick man for making me look up those lyrics.
Michael, if anyone could "get the chicks" by dressing up as a gay Nazi, it would be Parth. I'll see if Laurie will lend him her leather bustier.
Don't be ragging on Happy Mondays.
I think it's because they're secretly a ska band. Oh sure, they're bringing the hardcore sound today, but what you DON'T know is that under all the uniforms they're actually the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Watch for them to bust out the brass and start thumping on the ones.