...then beer is life itself.
Whether your tippling level equates to "social," "binge," or "Boris Yeltsin," everyone should have a set of guidelines for drinking. Mine starts and ends with "Never turn down a free drink," but Modern Drunkard Magazine will help the rest of you get started with its "86 Rules of Boozing" (courtesy of Metafilter). Highlights follow:
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
45. It's okay to drink alone.
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
The only item I'd add to this list is: find your preferred alcohol and stick with it. If you're a beer drinker, don't mix it up in public with Wild Turkey. If you're a vodka drinker, don't suddenly decide to go with gin. More pain and suffering has been caused by amateur mixologists than the Black Death and Celine Dion combined.
Those are great! mmmmmmmmm beer *drool*
Speaking of lots of beer, one of these days I need to get back downtown to the Flying Saucer - talk about beer heaven *sigh*