Our last holiday-themed entry will address the joys of Christmas advertising.
- I though those Lexus commercials last year must have been a fluke. I mean, what kind of out-of-touch boneheads would try to convince the vast television-watching public that buying your significant other a luxury car is a viable gift option? Lexus obviously made the mistake of buying air time on the normal plebe networks and not the Filthy Rich Scumbags Who Have More Money Than Brains Channel (which is also where ads for the Hummer should be relegated).
- Using "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" for your ad should be a hanging offense. Not because anything from "The Nutcracker" hasn't already been played to death over the last twenty years, but because so many companies use it there's no way to tell them apart. It's like satirically playing Muddy Waters' "Mannish Boy" in a movie to show a formerly dorky guy acting cool. Was that jingle supposed to remind me to buy a Norelco shaver or a Dustbuster? And why can't I get the images of Tom Cruise ("Risky Business") or John Cusack ("Better Off Dead") out of my head?
- Forget diamonds. Buy that special someone in your life Knights of the Old Republic for the Xbox or PS2. They'll thank you for it.
Happy holidays.
God loveya Tiny Tim, thanks for the smackdown on those fucking Lexus ads.