I've always hated Mothra. In a daikaiju pantheon that includes the likes of Godzilla, King Ghidorah, and Rodan, Mothra is a poser: a giant, highly flammable insect in a world of fire-breathing reptiles who's accompanied by two of the most annoying fairies since Lost in Space's Dr. Smith and relies on her silk-slinging larvae do all her dirty work.
Mothra is the second most popular of Japan's big monsters, and I'm at a loss to explain why. Godzilla is a 300-foot tall "godzillasaurus" capable of unleashing radioactive destruction throughout the Japanese archipelago. King Ghidorah? A "three-headed monster" that - depending on the film - either hails from deep space or is the embodiment of Japanese souls lost in World War II. Rodan's a supersonic pterodactyl. Hell, even floppy-eared kaiju whipping boy Baragon has some redeeming qualities, but Mothra...go figure. If forced to say something nice, I'll admit that she died well in Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack. Then again, at least she died.
So it was with no small amount of fear and loathing that my homebound ass found itself watching The Rebirth of Mothra 3 on the Sci Fi Channel last weekend. That Toho has seen fit to bring her back three times demonstrates the apparent wrong-headedness of my opinion. Nevertheless, I watched as the gaudily colored gaslamp junkie traveled back in time(!) to battle King Ghidorah - resurrected once again in the strange, Slaughterhouse Five timeline many of these movies seem to inhabit.
Realizing that children are, in fact, the future, King Ghidorah sets out to destroy them all...by imprisoning them in a huge hamster ball. Mothra's fairy friends (three now instead of two) learn, through consulting Starfleet, that the only way to defeat Ghidorah is to go back in time. Mothra does this, and is promptly pounded into the Cretaceous dirt by King Ghidorah, despite the fact she's developed the ability (like most moths) to fire energy beams from her forehead and abdomen.
This being a Mothra movie, you can probably guess the odds that the fairies will join forces to sing Mothra out of trouble. They do so, allowing Mothra to paralyze Ghidorah with twinkly moth dust and drop him into a volcano. The ensuing blast appears to annihilate King Ghidorah, and rather than incinerating the nearby giant, furry bug, merely blows her miles away where, the last light fading from her compound eyes, her trusty larvae show up and cocoon her lovingly in quick-drying silk.
Why would they do this? Because, like Nostradamus and the Reverend Jim Jones, Mothra knows that prehistoric King Ghidorah will inexplicably reappear in the present, after the modern-day King Ghidorah has been erased from history, thanks to the prehistoric King Ghidorah's death. It's all a rich tapestry of bad screenwriting, but it provides a convenient excuse for Mothra to evolve into Dreadnaught Mothra: armor-plated and impervious to King Ghidorah's fiery breath. She cruelly toys with her prey for a few minutes, slicing his wings off before executing the insectoid equivalent of the eagle claw. Huzzah, the children are free, and Mothra can reassume her smooth, kissable form.
Toho was obviously trying to horn in on Gamera's title as "protector of all children," but I imagine most kids find a flying turtle more intriguing than a big moth. Rebirth 3 may not be as ridiculous as Rebirth 2 (Submersible Mothra, anyone?), but it's still pretty bad. The only redeeming factors were the repeated shots of Mothra getting pile-driven into the ground and King Ghidorah eating a Tyrannosaurus rex. Take that, Spielberg!
Bah. Mothra sucks.
It's all my fault, of course, but I now find myself singing:
Buffalo soldier, Dreadnaught Mothra...
Hey, at least Battra was cool.
(For those not in the know, Battra is the equivalent of Bizarro-Mothra. Or, more accurately, Mothra with a goatee.)
Of course, Gamera has the added bonus of having been MSTified, so that we all wander around saying "Gamera is my byfriend!"
And turtles are cooler than moths. Puh-leez!
For the love of crackers, Pete. Given the title of this entry I thought you were going to be discussing Ashton K's new flick. Thankfully, its merely nerdy godzilla chat.
All I want to know is why Rodan was renamed Radon in Godzilla v. Mechagodzilla II. Rodan's the poseur, really. OOOH, he's got a debris-stirring flap attack! Oh, no, I might have to wear goggles!
As "Ghidra", King Ghidorah has made appearances in many of my D&D campaigns as an evil dragon god, the CE counterpart to Tiamat. I've got a soft spot in my heart for the big lug. He doesn't have arms because his stunt-guy's arms are running his extra two heads! He needs our sympathy.
Jason is obviously smoking The Crack. That, or he has yet to see the latest Gamera trilogy. Mothra wouldn't stand a chance.
And I have much love for King Ghidorah. Even new "good guy" KG. He's my favorite of the amputee monsters.
This is truly the bravest of blogs. Where other online journals fear to take a stance on the relative merits of Japanese film monsters, APCB can always be counted on to produce a take, stuff it in your face, and smack you on the ass for crying. In King von der Haar's court, no monster is sacred.
Pete, your courageous anti-Mothra position will not win you many friends amongst the entrenched pinko hippie pro-Mothra camp. I salute your principled stand in the face of certain outrage and furor, and I wish you the best of luck in your future monster-blogging endeavors.
Yours Truly,
SPECTROMAN!
It's "Spectreman."
No wonder Dr. Gori and Karas want to see you dead. They keep getting beaten by a guy who can't even spell his own name properly.
I saw the show while I was in Italy. There it was called 'Spectroman'. At least I think it was. That was long ago and I was beaten daily by members of the Red Brigade who didn't like me getting out of my sack, so I may be remembering incorrectly.
Remember, kids: if you're going to be a smartypants, get your names right! Use irony RESPONSIBLY!
HWRNMNBSOL, I prefer to use responsibility ironically.
You are so wrong. Areas of mothra's superiority: theme song (I routinely chant "Ma-su-RAAAA" as I wander the halls at work); soft and fluffy; sidekicks who can actually speak Common. And think of the barely mined comedy potential in two six-inch high chicks! They have only started exploiting that in the more recent movies with the omnipresent children pretending to adults that the Alilelas (sp?) were dolls, having them menaced by dachsunds, etc.
And wasn't Stalin the "protector of all children"? or maybe that was "savior of all children"... anyway, Mothra could take Stalin AND Gamera with one larva tied behind her back.