Apparently there's some football game or another being played here in Houston this Sunday.
I like football, though I tend to enjoy college games more than the NFL. I harbor no illusions about the frequency of spoiled brat 'roid-freaks in the NCAA versus the majors, I just happen to like watching the games better. Oh, and there's a marked lack of commercials for Coors Light - whose motto I officially suggest be changed to "The beer for guys who like boobs."
And yet...I didn't realize that being away for a week would shield me so effectively from the shitstorm of NFL Experience ads and insightful local news coverage of "what the stars will be wearing to Super Bowl XXXVIII." I'm tempted to pick up one of those new Bauer Vapor XX sticks just so I can practice wrist shots against my TV.
The NFL, the City of Houston, and CBS are nonetheless probably freaking out about the Panthers being in the big game. I might've looked beyond the hype for an Eagles-Pats game, or Eagles-Colts even, but the Panthers? Why not just resurrect some of the old USFL teams and put them in the playoffs? How about giving the Grey Cup a little love down here?
Turning off the TV helps, but only so much. Freeway DOT signs helpfully advertise the nearest NFL Experience exit, and every grocery store and gas station from here to Centerville is selling commemorative footballs and He Hate Me autographed jerseys. And all so we can watch through shuttered fingers as New England systematically annihilates Carolina. Here's a news bulletin for Panther fans: the Pats picked Peyton Manning off 4 times, and Jake Delhomme is no Peyton Manning.
On the plus side, once the IOC reads a week's worth of bitching about our traffic from the assorted out-of-town writers, we can probably kiss any shot at the Olympics goodbye.
Write down the date and time: I'm officially tired of Super Bowl XVIII and all the hype surrounding it. If......
| --Posted to Off the Kuff on Jan 26, 2004 12:49 PM:. |
Pete, you really need to make a TV brick. Here's how:
1. Go out and find yourself a large sponge on the cleaning supplies aisle of your local store.
2. Trim the edges of the sponge until it is a nice even rectangular prism.
3. Now paint the sponge a nice brick red. Let it dry.
Ta-daaa! now you have a TV brick. It looks like a brick but it's far softer, so you can hurl it at your TV without fear of damage. Having a TV brick is very therapeutic for times like this, with so much aggravating stuff on the tube that it's necessary to vent a little.
I hope this helps you get through the Super Bowl. If not, there's always beer.
It's reassuring that, so many times, that's what it comes to. There's always beer.
Sometimes the world does seem to be less implacable hostile.
I dunno, Pete. I think you are giving the Patriots too much credit. If they were playing at home - where they tend to dominate on defense due to the weather - I probably agree with you 100%.
It will be an interesting match of teams. The Pats do not have a world-class running game; the Pathers do. The Panthers don't have a very good QB; the Pats do. Both teams have excellent defenses and kickers.
While your point is well taken that Delhomme is no Manning, Carolina doesn't rely on him to win. Its usually a lot of Stephen Davis and DeShaun Foster running the ball, and Kasay kicking field goals. If the Pats can stuff the Pathners running game and force Delhomme to beat them (and they obviously will try to do just that) then the Pats should have it in the bag. If Davis and Foster are allowed to get loose then the Pathers will probably just play ball control offense and in order to keep the game manageable. Tom Brady isn't terribly mobile, but he wins games. (Despite the lack of a stud wide receiver). And since the backbone of Carolina's DEF is founded on blitzing and hurrying the QB, the game may be closer than you think.