Presented with much comment, here's a partial list of several TV pilots being considered for the 2004-2005 season (courtesy of Die Puny Humans and Dangerous Universe).
"Enjoy:"
UNTITLED HENRY CHO PROJECT (ABC): Revolves around standup comic Henry Cho's experiences as a Korean-American born and raised in Tennessee. Matt Goldman ("Ellen," "Luis") is on board to write and executive the pilot to the project, which will David Janollari will also executive produce.
Henry Cho's stand-up is only mostly horrible, and I tend to think his whole, "Hey, look! I'm an Asian with a Southern accent!" routine wore thin around the time of the first Clinton preisdency. Besides, is mainstream America ready for a sitcom about a wacky Asian-American family so soon after the televised Hindenburg that was Margaret Cho's (no relation) All American Girl?
"THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN" (ABC): Small screen version of Mitch Albom's bestselling novel "The Five People You Meet in Heaven."
For everyone whose bowels didn't spontaneously rupture after viewing Tuesdays With Morrie, ABC is giving Albom a chance to kill again.
"CHARLIE'S ANGELS" (ABC): Carlton Cuse ("Black Sash," "Nash Bridges") and John Wirth ("The District") have been tapped to bring the 1970s series back to the small screen. ABC has given a script commitment to Sony Pictures Television for the project along with a hefty penalty attached should it not go to pilot. It's not clear how or if the producers plan to fit into the movie franchise's continuity.
I must have missed something, because with the utter lack of anything resembling plot in either movie, I wasn't aware there was such a thing as franchise continuity. Put some Cylons in there, and some Daleks...hell, bring back KAOS. Go crazy.
"UNTITLED" (NBC): - Alyson Hannigan ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer") is officially on board the comedy pilot, which comes from NBC Studios. She'll play the eldest of two siblings who ends up reuniting with her brother after not speaking for 18 months.
18 months? Typical Hollywood fantasy. There are members of my family I haven't spoken to for 18 years.
UNTITLED PAUL REISER PROJECT (NBC): Comedy about a shallow fortysomething Los Angeles businessman and his no-nonsense therapist. Paul Reiser's NBC Studios-based Nuance Productions has received a cast-contingent pilot pickup.
Hot damn, more Paul Reiser. And in a vehicle that all of us can relate to: a sitcom about a businessman and his therapist.
Reiser's last role worth a crap was as Burke in Aliens, thanks solely to his horrible offscreen death. Mad About You drove me crazy the handful of times I was staked to an anthill and made to watch it because Reiser's character was such a complete dishrag. The title was also highly misleading, since I could never discern anything resembling affection emanating from Helen Hunt's dragon lady demeanor.
On an unrelated note, it seems Hunt is expecting her first child, finally answering the decades old question: "Can replicants breed?"
"THE OFFICE" (NBC): NBC's makeover of the Britcom hit "The Office." Millions pray that it is nothing like NBC's makeover of the Britcom hit "Coupling."
Millions need to find something to pray for that may actually come true, like Gregg Easterbrook being asked to speak at my local women's center.
"PEARL CITY"(A.K.A. HAWAII BLUE) (NBC): The ensemble drama tracks a group of detectives in Oahu, Hawaii. Jon Avnet ("Boomtown") is on board to direct the pilot, which received a production greenlight this week. Jeff Eastin ("Rush Hour 3") is writing and executive producing.
"From the writer of Rush Hour 3" has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Unfortunately, if Tom Selleck's not involved, I won't be watching. No Magnum, no peace.
"REVELATIONS" (NBC): Six-hour limited series which focuses on the final showdown between God and Satan as foretold in the Bible's book of Revelations. David Seltzer ("The Omen") and Gavin Polone ("Curb Your Enthusiasm") are the executive produces of the project.
Getting the jump on the rest of those Left Behind movies, I see. Too bad this was already done in that episode of Fantasy Island where Roddy McDowell played the Devil. How they plan on topping Montalban is anyone's guess.
"C.S.I.: NEW YORK" (CBS)
CBS hopes to keep bleeding its star franchise dry by continuing to show crime scene investigators acting like actual detectives (i.e. interrogating suspects who have some pathological aversion to calling a lawyer and arresting bad guys). Only they're in New York, so perhaps the CSIs this time around will also be armed with broom handles.
"DARK SHADOWS" (WB): By "ER" and "The West Wing" producer John Wells, based on the old vampire soap opera "Dark Shadows."
My impression of the WB pitch meeting for this: "It's The OC, only with vampires."
And I saved my favorite for last...
"FRANKENSTEIN" (USA): the series is expected to take place in present-day Seattle with both Dr. Frankenstein and his monster surviving the past two centuries thanks to genetic engineering on both subjects. The two are then discovered by a female cop and her partner through a routine homicide investigation. Over the course of the pilot, Frankenstein's monster joins forces with the cops and will combat Dr. Frankenstein and his other creations in successive weeks. From Martin Scorsese and author Dean Koontz.
"He's a patchwork collection of disinterred corpse parts powered by a stolen brain, she's a cop on the edge...they fight crime!"
I'm almost looking forward to being forced to watch The Wiggles.
It looks like NBC's Homeland Security didn't get picked up for the new season. The latest dope is that it has been remade into a standalone movie (tentatively titled Bungalow 5) and may air in the middle of the season, or it may be a hasty replacement show in the event that something completely tanks.
If you don't know why I'm mentioning this show, don't worry about it. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Um, will I be outed as a complete loser if I admit that I'll tune into pretty much anything that features Alyson Hannigan? Please let me know, my comment depends on your answer. Thanks.
BRING BACK THE FAMILY GUY!!!
Re: US version of The Office, I'm scared, very scared. I really don't suspect it'll do too awful well.
Interesting article that touches upon this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3433375.stm
Damn, I was really looking forward to a certain someone's onscreen characterization in "Homeland Security." Especially when he twirled his moustache in a dastardly fashion.
Chuck, you get a free pass if you own up to buying multiple copies of the issue of FHM featuring Ms. Hannigan. And hiding them in your garage in a box marked "Dog Toys."
Patience, Denny. "Family Guy: The Movie" is in production for Fox, and most sources seem pretty confident that the series is coming back.
Chuck: *anything* with Alyson Hannigan? Even, say, My Stepmother is an Alien? or Beyond the City Limits?
...aaaa! zee goggles, zey do nussink!
Now, I like the BBC coupling well enough, and TiVo it regularly. I managed to watch 2 minutes of NBC Coupling one time, and then left the room. So I don't have high hopes for The Office (which I also TiVo).
But... It does seem to me that Steve Carell might make a passable David Brent. Certainly working on The Daily Show has honed his skills at being ridiculously offensive with a completely straight face. (The biggest problem that I saw with Coupling was that the Jeff character couldn't do that -- he kept waiting for the laugh track. But like I said, I watched two minutes and never even saw a female character.)
Compared to many things out there that you will be forced to watch with wee ones, the Wiggles are way way up there in terms of watchability. They've even had Tim Finn doing a Wiggly version of "Six Months in a Leaky Boat." And their concerts rock...
(Ya know, it's hard to tell people that the last concert I saw was the Wiggles, adn the previous one was Fish (ex-Marillion) 5 years ago. I'm getting soooo far from cool...)
A new, less slow, Dark Shadows could (repeat, could) not suck.
OK, I really meant "anything with post-Buffy Alyson Hannigan". Better?
I didn't actually buy that copy of FHM. After they threw me out of the Barnes & Nobles, I didn't want to make an issue of it.
You know, there are two big wishes I have had for a long, long time when it comes to books being made into talkies of some sort or other. The first is that someone would finally do justice to The Lord of the Rings - not so much because I felt the books deserved it, but because I was tired of people talking about it. The second is that PEOPLE WOULD STOP ADAPTING FRANKENSTEIN GODDAMNIT. Argh.