A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

"I bent my Wookiee."

And now at last, the end is near:

After years of waiting, hype and hope, the rumors can at last be laid to rest: the holy grail of DVD will finally be released this September. Yes, it is the original Star Wars trilogy: Episode IV: A New Hope, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (which many regard as the best in the series) and Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.

While a full press release has yet to be issued, both Lucasfilm and Fox Home Entertainment confirmed today that the trilogy will touch down on September 21st as a four-disc set, available in both anamorphic widescreen and full screen versions, containing the three films plus a bonus fourth disc with extras, a la the top-selling Adventures of Indiana Jones set released late last year. The films will not be sold separately, at least initially, according to Fox representatives.

That works. I like the setup for the Indiana Jones DVDs, and the extras disc has some great stuff.

Wait, there's more:

While the full details on what extras will be included in the set are still pending, Ward promises that Lucasfilm "are creating added-value material that gets inside the creation of the 'Star Wars' films in a fresh and fun way. We want watching this DVD collection to be as memorable as seeing the movies for the first time." He also confirmed that rumors that Lucas would not contribute new audio commentaries to the set are false, although there are as of yet no exact details on which films will receive commentary tracks, and who will be among the participants.

Lucas commentaries? That should be a hoot. Now I need to come up with a drinking game ("Down it every time he references the 'power of myth'").

And I can think of one way to make watching the DVDs as memorable as watching the movies the first time...what has Lucasfilm go to say about that?

Of course, the big question mark amongst fans has always been whether Lucas would allow the original, unaltered original editions of the trilogy to also be released on DVD. Not possible, said Ward, who confirmed that the upcoming set will feature only the 1997 Special Edition versions of each film. "What George did in 1997," Ward explains, "was [to] make the movie he originally wanted to make."

"Not possible?" What, did the dianoga eat the negatives? Lucas couldn't have Han act "in self defense" in 1977? Are we really supposed to believe he wanted every possible inch of screen filled with crap when he first made the movie? Why leave in the "BattleZone" graphics on the Millennium Falcon? Why not fix the landspeeder's shadow?

Oh look, now you've gone and made me repeat myself. Again.

So what are the faithful to do if they don't want to watch the altered 1997 editions of the trilogy? Either give in, or don't buy. "We realize there's a lot of debate out there," says Ward. "But this is not a democracy. We love our fans, but this is about art and filmmaking. [George] has decided that the sole version he wants available is this one."

If you loved your fans, you'd make the trivial effort to transfer the originals to disc. The "sole version" Lucas is graciously offering his fans is one that, overhwelmingly, they don't want. Perhaps if he also released special editions of Episodes I and II that actually made them watchable.

This isn't art, it's commerce, and bad commerce at that. Think how much money he'd make if he released the originals with the special editions in a 7-disc set. Charge double for it. We'd buy it, believe me.

Bah, I need to back up my VHS copies.