Via Fark, here's Modern Drunkard's list of the 40 Things Every Drunkard Should Do Before He Dies:
1. Open and close a bar
2. Go on a bender
3. Drink a fifth of hard liquor, by yourself, in one day
4. Dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd
5. Spend a night in the drunk tank
6. Get drunk on the grave of your hero
7. Buy a crowded bar a round
8. Embark on an impromptu road trip
9. Get 86’d from a bar
10. Extravagantly overtip a bartender
11. Walk up to an attractive stranger way out of your league and buy him or her a drink
12. Conspire an afterhours at your favorite bar
13. Make your best friend a perfect martini
14. Buy, build or steal a home bar
15. Get carried home by your drinking buddies
16. Get drunk with your father
17. Fight a good fight
18. Visit the source of your favorite beer, wine or liquor
19. Drunkenly watch the sun come up with your best boozing buddies and a bottle
20. Sit in on an A.A. meeting
21. Hit a dozen bars in one night
22. Try at least one hundred different drinks
23. Get loaded in the land of your forefathers
24. Juice on the job
25. Split a magnum of expensive champagne with your true love
26. Give a hobo twenty bucks
27. Get loaded and tell your boss exactly how you feel
28. Send a friend a bottle of good liquor
29. Eat a pickled egg from the big jar
30. Go on a fishing trip with your pals
31. Eat the worm
32. Learn at least one traditional drinking song
33. Steal some booze
34. Spend half a paycheck on a single bottle of liquor
35. Start your long-awaited and very personal autobiography: Me and the Booze: A Love Story
36. Try absinthe
37. Watch the movie Barfly with five of your closest friends
38. Work at least a week as a bartender
39. Make your own beer, wine or moonshine
40. Go to your place of worship loaded
Modesty and matters of public record forbid me from specifying which of these I've completed. Let's just say it's more than 20. I'm sure some of the reprobates who hang around here can top that.
*suddenly thinking of _I Got Laid on James Joyce's Grave_*
I feel as if I have accomplished something? ...I have but numbers 6, 35,37 and 38 to complete the list. Damn, I'm feeling old...Time for a Bloody Mary, then back to work!
Heh. I've done five of these (five-and-a-half if you count assisting some of my homebrewer buddies in making a batch or three), and I don't even drink!
Unless "dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd" carries an implicit "...while drunk"....
What? Waking up in a pool of your own puke with your right eye crustily sealed shut didn't make the list? Amateurs!
I'm at 25 out of 40. I suppose that's a good start...
I agree with Brian. That's one that definitely shouldn't be missed.
If we could count the pool-of-puke, eye crust - we're tied.
Must try harder.
How 'bout pissing your self while trying to piss in the bushes? Gotta go find some absinthe
Only 15. I feel like such an underachiever.