How to make the XFL look like the Premier League, in 10 easy steps:
LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) -- The company behind the Lingerie Bowl, in which near-naked women played full-contact football for a pay-per-view audience, is closing in on a deal with Fox Television Studios for a 10-episode reality TV show based on the concept.
The series will feature scrimmages and other behind-the-scenes activities of the female football players, while games played by teams of the Lingerie Football League, which was recently created and has been casting cheerleaders since Monday, will still be made available only via pay-per-view.
The LFL comes from Horizon Prods., the company behind the Lingerie Bowl, which coincided with the infamous Super Bowl halftime show that included Janet Jackson and has become known, somewhat ironically, for its sexuality.
Okay, confession time: I watched the Lingerie Bowl. We caught the Super Bowl at a friend's house with about 25 other people, and while the women checked out the official halftime show on one TV, we sad bastard males enjoyed the lingerie offering on another.
Of course, we were barely two minutes into the insightful postgame interviews ("Do you think you could run a post route better in a thong?") before the wives came rushing into the room, ordering us to change back to the Super Bowl and TiVo the infamous boob shot.
In order to spare you from checking it out for yourselves, let me just say that the Lingerie Bowl fulfilled my expectations as one of the biggest ripoffs ever (or would have, had we actually paid for it). The skill level was, as expected, something along the lines of playing smear the queer with your high school drill team. Calling the thing "Lingerie Bowl" was also a little misleading. Sure, the players were wearing panties and - I guess - bras (who could tell with a full set of shoulder pads?), but where were the teddies? The corsets? The baby dolls? If we want hot pants and little else, well, the NFL already has cheerleaders.
Predictably, Horizon president Mitch Mortaza has already thought this out:
Mortaza promises even more skin than last time.
"The uniforms are a lot sexier," he said. "The bottoms and tops are skimpier, and the shoulder pads are smaller."
The catastrophic failure of the XFL showed us all how receptive America is to bad football. I'm no expert on the market for hot women running into each other, dropping passes, and throwing five yards, but it seems to me the only way to guarantee an audience for this is to have them play naked. Honestly, with the options open to today's on-the-go deviant, who has time to waste on chicks whaling on each other if they're not even going to go topless? I can watch the Teri Hatcher-Charlize Theron catfight from 2 Days in the Valley if I want that.
Or we can all wait until Dynasty comes out on DVD.
Note to self:
Must rent 2 days in the valley
A few good things for you to read this weekend: Matt Stoller says Release the blogs! and I'm inclined to......
| --Posted to Off the Kuff on Apr 17, 2004 7:59 AM:. |
My biggest two complaints about the Lingerie Bowl were very similar to Pete's: (1) all the lingerie was the same (just different colors for each team); and (2) both teams only know about 3 plays. But I'll give the women this: they played hard. It wasn't a powder-puff bra and panty tickle fight. They threw real tackles. Kudos, ladies.