For a while now, I've noticed a growing number of minivans and SUVs sporting a back window sticker or two that's something along the lines of a megaphone with a girl's name - representing their daughter the cheerleader, or a football with a boy's name - representing their son the bench jockey. Haven't seen any chess pieces or circular saw stickers yet, leading me to believe either a) the chess club doesn't advertise, or b) parents aren't maybe a little selective in what makes them crow about their offspring.
Then I read on Fark about the new trend: stick figure window stickers that show Mom, Dad, and the kids, all with the family member's names underneath. Kind of takes all the romance and intrigue out of being a child predator, doesn't it? In the old days stalking a youngster meant somehow coaxing the name out of a friend or family member, or skulking around their house and stealing their mail, at least. Now all you have to do is drive around your favorite suburb. If you're really lucky, you might even find a home with signs posted in the yard with the kids' names on them.
How convenient is that? No more suspiciously tailing vehicles or doing those creepy low speed drive-bys with your lights off, now that Mom and Dad are doing all your legword for you.
I've always felt vague annoyance with those "My child is an Honors Student" bumper stickers. I tend to ascribe evil motives to most people, and I always suspected the parents sporting such decoration on their cars were engaging more in one-upmanship with other parents than actually expressing pride in their kids (hard to believe, I know). Now, since that's not enough, they're telling everyone their kids' names and at least one of the extracurricular activities in which they participate. Combine that with the Old English letters spelling out the last name that I've seen on other cars around town and you might as well put the kid out on the curb for pick up
Okay, maybe not. I'm still a little squirrely about it, however.
I'd like to get a sticker with all the names and instruments of Sly and the Family Stone.
I'd like to see a sticker whose surface is like those white Dry-Erase boards.
The bumper-sticker would read "My Child Hasn't Smoked Any Crystal Meth in [fill in the number] Weeks!"
Although only tangentially related to the blog topic, I want to share two of the funniest bumper stickers that I have seen in Austin this year: "Weird enough for government work" and "Your son and my tax dollars go to the Texas Penetentiary."
I agree with your post. My belief is that any time you broadcast something to the public, it becomes fair game as a target for some wacko. A personal peeve is people who put their names on license plates. That's just asking for trouble.
I'm right there with you, Pete.
Say what you will about the goody-two-shoes honor students. They're great prey.
Me? My bumper stickers all indicate which tattoo parlors my children frequent.
I think this mildly annoying trend might provide an opportunity for subterfuge. Everyone assumes that the name and activity being advertised on the ol' family truckster is acurate. Assume little Johnny is in fact a football player at Lamar high school. I say apply a decal advertising little Sally (a ficticious daughter) as a cheerleader at one of our finer, inner-city high schools in the 5th Ward. Have fun tracking *that* down, Mr. Pedophile.