Children of the night, shut up (via Fark):
PORTLAND -- You've seen them in scary movies, comic books and maybe even in your nightmares, but have you ever seen a vampire in real life?
You probably have if you live in Portland.
"Generally a vampire is anything that feeds off the energy of others," says 19-year old art student and vampire, Raven.
...
Raven claims she's a psyonic, or psychic vampire.
Psychic vampire? Except for her age, she sounds like every girl I dated from 1990-92.
I actually had more that I was planning on saying about this, but really, what teenager hasn't claimed they were a vampire/Wiccan/Andy Warhol at some point?
In fact, the phrase "19-year old art student" says more than I ever could.
Pfffh. "Raven." What a supremely original wanna-be vampire name. For an "art student," this wanker displays an embarassing dearth of creativity. Eh, hopefully he's at least getting a bunch of goth-chick action.
"Raven" is actually female. No idea how much goth-chick action she might be getting.
I'd like to think she getting tons.
"Generally a vampire is anything that feeds off the energy of others."
That's a pretty broad definition, isn't it?
So the entire Earth is a solar Vampire. That makes LifeForce a vampire-vampire tiff, then.
Excuse me, I've got to head off to get a cheeseburger. I'm a bovovampire.
Somehow the part I find the most amusing is someone not only admitting they are a psychic vampire, but being PROUD of it. It's not a title I think of as flattering in any way.
Bovovampire. I like that. That's silly. :)
Michael is: El Chupavaca!
Why aren't vampires named "Susan"? Or "Joe"? At least Anne Rice had a "Louis". Accepting the idea that vampires can be "made" by another, doesn't it stand to reason that sometime in the past 500 (the gospel according to Stoker) to 3000 (viz. Anne Rice again) years, some vampire bit and "made" someone with a mundane name? Just a thought.
At one point I actually pretended to be a vampiric Wiccan Andy Warhol. No, really. Ask Rick Jones.