Melanie, in her June 5 entry, has some helpful hints for how to deal with your server in a restaurant. I did my time in the food service biz for several years after college and in grad school, both as a waiter and as a bartender, and I found myself nodding my head in agreement with many of her items.
Even now, all these years later, I'm still struck by how depressingly obnoxious some people can be. Not only to servers, who have to stick around for - sometimes - hours and keep customers in a restaurant happy, but also to flight attendants, store cashiers, and pretty much anyone in a service-type position. Sure, sometimes the McDonald's register jockey forgets to specify to the grill master that you didn't want onions, but for the most part these people are busting their humps to make sure you have a decent dining/flying/shopping experience. There are exceptions, but just because the bartender only put two pearl onions in your vodka Gibson instead of three doesn't give you a license to act like a scumbag.
In my experience (here comes the sweeping generalization), people who treat their servers/cashiers like crap are usually those who have never had to handle 20 lunch tables, or work the Houston to Kansas City flight one person short, or wait on a table of 5 that squats in your area for two hours and runs up a $300 bill then leaves you $10 because everyone paid separately and nobody made sure everyone kicked in enough for tax and tip. I guess you can consider yourself lucky you didn't have to perform some menial minimum wage job in high school, but I also think - quite frankly - that you might be lacking that certain something in your character that allows you to cut your server a little slack when your drink order is a few minutes late.
One more thing, is it really that wise to antagonize someone responsible for handling your food and drink? Maybe some other time I'll write about a few of the flat-out grotesque perversions of culinary science I've seen performed on customers' food when they made the mistake of giving their server too much grief. People on their feet for 9 hours dealing with screaming kids and drunken Yuppies are not the best subjects for your interpersonal power trips, trust me.
Especially if a bowtie is part of their uniform.
Having worked in food service for a few years myself, I concur that mistreating ones server is ill-advised and in poor form. And for Crom's sake, never be a cheap tipper on date.
However, there is a polar-opposite scenario that I've seen pop up with more and more frequency: the "mandatory tip." I'm not talking about the extra gratuity that gets added to a party of 8 people or more. Anyone who has waited on large parties knows you earn every freakin' dime of that. What I'm talking about is mandatory tips for parties of any size. That irks me to no end. A gratuity is supposed to be a little extra something for good service. If you get adequate service, I think 15% is fair. If the service is exeptional, 20% or more is customary. If the service sucks donkey balls, I'll give 0% and perhaps and complaint to the hostess. Regardless, gratuity, by definition, should be at the discretion of the customer. Of course, that rule presumes that all customers have the good sense to tip according to the rules of common decency. I guess some don't, and thus the "mandatory" gratuity. Still, it irks me.
As an aside, if you are in a crowded bar and don't want to wait eons in between each beverage: (1) make eye contact with your bartender; (2) tip heavily - in cash - after the first drink in a way the bartender will be sure to recognize; and (3) say "thank you." About 95% of the time they will skip over people who have been waiting longer in order to serve you better.
Money can't buy everything. But it can buy outstanding service.
I've never had to work in a restaurant, so maybe you can answer this: can a server tell if he got 13% or 16%? Or if not, 10%?
I usually tip at discrete levels of 15% usually, "just a little bit" or "nothing" for bad service and 25%+ for better-than-expected service because I assume, in my lovable elitist way, that the server can't do arithmetic - else why is he working here? But, I notice that checkers at the grocery store can make change ok, so maybe attempting this paticular piece of arithmetic day in and day out provides the server with an idiot-savant-like ability to estimate tip percentages.
Then I have to wonder, what makes the server believe that I can do math? Probably if I tip 13% or 16% he assumes I estimated 15% badly. I have at times eaten with other people, and lord knows that's the usual explanation.
A server can, I believe, calculate 15% for any amount between $.25 and $7,500. In their head. Instantly.
Of course a server can figure out 15% in their head. After a few weeks it just becomes second nature. A chimp could calculate 10% of any number. Divide that amount by half and add it in to the intial 10%, and there you go. (At least, that's how I used to do it in my head). Double the tax is usually a pretty good method, too.
well, jason, let's see. i'm waiting tables because, despite my master's degree, i can't seem to find a decent job in austin, and freelancing for the handful of publications that i write for doesn't meet the financial demands of today's economy.
i'm waiting tables because i want to have good credit because i paid all my bills every month. i'm waiting tables because i don't want to have to move into the homeless shelter.
i wait tables because i want to be able to afford my wedding and honeymoon and because my parents can't afford to subsidize me. i wait tables because the job market is stuffed full and i'm still trying to get into a doctoral program.
i'm ashamed of the fact that i have to wait tables for a living, and you can rest assured that my daydreams have never included a glorious career in the service industry. people, like you, who assume that i'm stupid because this is my job (for now) don't make things any better. just because i'm waiting tables doesn't mean that i took the short bus to work or that i'm an epsilon.
i could just sponge off my fiance and sit in front of the computer every day in service to my "real" profession, but i don't want to be that person. i don't want to be a financial burden on anyone. this is a way for me to be financially independent AND continue to be creative.
at least this way i can get lots of writing done on my days off, and don't have to worry about getting the kind of ass-spread concomitant with a desk job. it's amazing how much more crap i can eat because i work on my feet.
Damn straight, Pete. I've long thought everyone should have to work a really crappy job at least once in their life. Whether its waiting tables, tending bar, fastfood, furniture mover, retail, or whatever. Suffering broadens the soul, and it would teach people to have a little common courtesy to those who are currently serving them.
And Jason, there are a lot of reasons why someone would wait tables besides poor math skills. I worked food service for years to pay for college and to keep my poor ass fed. I did so again when the web devolopment job I had went tits up. I could have gone on unemployment, but I gots me a work ethic...
Melanie, you may be misestimating Jason's opinion. It's not waitrons specifically who are stupid; he thinks EVERYBODY who's not writing C code or doing surface-physics theory is stupid.
Denny:
I've never found your 10% plus half of 10% rule to be useful in practice; among other things, it's two divisions and an addition. I use $1 tip/$7 bill (one division) and adjust upwards. Probably I should recalibrate to $1/$6 to account for tip inflation and having more disposable income.
The important question ought to be whether you tip on the bill alone or the bill + tax.
Actually, I assume everybody is stupid, period. But that's not my main point (little pun there - in fact it's so little you might not think it's deliberate, but it is). I've picked up, from my Russian girlfriend, an aesthetic value that annoys the heck out of Americans: when one is kidding about something, the best kidding is the kidding done with the least indication that one is kidding. Then people will fly off the handle while I smug, "look at the funny flying-off-the-handle person". The best kidding camouflage is to include some serious stuff around the kidding; then even if the victim suspects this isn't entirely serious, he may not be sure where the boundary starts. Hell, I don't even have to be sure where the boundary is, as long as I can credibly defend a different interpretation of the boundary from the victim's later.
Jason,
Great. Now I know that you are only kidding when you make jackass statements and find fun in having people fly off the handle. I'm not sure which I care for less, a snob or an individual with a poor sense of humor. Regardless, I have always found that how one treats and views a waitperson is one of the best tests of character out there.
And if anyone's offended by this, don't worry...I'm just joking.
I did say it annoyed Americans.
I never said my method rocked, merely that it worked for me. My broader point was that anybody who spends more than a few weeks as a waiter, bar tender, etc. will naturally figure out a way to figure out 15% of any bill in their head. It's a pavlovian response to working in that particular environment.
I usually just make love to waitstaff in lieu of tipping. Everybody's happy and there's no math. Besides, bowties are teh HOTNESS.
I'm loving how I basically killed dead a spirited comments conversation. I must use these powers only for GOOD.
HeeWho, you damned dirty Godwinite! People who kill threads are worse than Hitler!
I generally start with Denny's one-and-a-half times 10% rule and aim for the next whole-dollar amount over that: "Let's see, 10% of $25 is $2.50, so 15% is $3.75 ... hell with it, there's $4." This makes me feel more generous than starting with 20% and rounding down. I'm complicated that way.
I am one of those dummies who has trouble figuring out his share of a group bill, though. "What did I eat? What did it cost? Did I share the appetizer? Did they charge for refills? What's the damn tax on this again?" When they don't do separate checks, they're really gambling on my questionable math skills.
Sheesh, group dinners are a whole different ball game. I just pay more than I should owe because someone usually comes up short. And I'd rather get on with my life than spend 15 minutes trying to figure out who, for whatever reason, short-changed the table. (Though, after dining with the same people for a few years, it a'int that hard to figure out).
I'm getting in on this a little late, but here goes.
Vodka Gibson !!??? ... Philistine!
Having worked with Pete waiting tables in polyester pants and a bow tie for many years (and other such depressing jobs), we all know that people that don't tip are ingratious morons who have no understanding of how the system works. For most wait jobs, your base pay is not minimum wage, but it is something on the order of $2 - 2.50/hr (this may have increased since I ended my tray carrying days). This basically means that you have to bust your ass to make a decent wage. There are also things that run beyond a wait person's control and basically make them look piss poor (such as the kitchen staff running behind or screwing up the order; kitchen-wait staff bickering is a huge part of the business). Also, there is the table to asshole ratio. Some people are just never happy and they shouldn't go out to eat. One of my friends worked as a delivery person for a pizza joint. The manager had a great attitude: the customer is most always right, but sometimes the customer f**ks up.
On the tip thing, depending on how much tax you are charged on your meal (in Texas it used to be around 8.25%) you may be able to just double the tax on your meal to quickly figure out the tip.
On another note, if you are a regular somewhere and plan to go back on a regular basis, tip the hell out of your bartenders and wait staff. This will pay off in the end with multiple perks, such as comped drinks, tastings of new alcohol (especially nice if you are a scotch afficionado), and getting a table when you don't have a reservation and the place is full.
Worst wait job I ever had (and first wait job): The graveyard weekend shift at IHOP near a country-western bar. Being the only male wait person in the place didn't really help rake in the tips. Drunken country folk (or rednecks if you will) just like to tip their surrogate mom waiters, and don't want to be served by a skinny college punk when they are trying not to puke in their pancakes.
One of my friends worked as a delivery person for a pizza joint. The manager had a great attitude: the customer is most always right, but sometimes the customer f**ks up.
That was me, you knob. My manager at Double Dave's told me that in high school.
Knob!! I thought I got that from Mike who also worked for DDs. We all worked for the same places too many damn times. Ahh, the joys of living in a smallish town.
I must say that these days, 18% is standard, and being in the relatively odd position of being server and entertainment as a trained opera singer at 2 restaurants in Philadelphia, a minimum of 20% is expected(you're getting FREE entertainment after all). I have recently been appalled at the lack of savvy in tipping by people who have claimed to have had a wonderful time(10-12%). Free entertainment+excellent service should equal an excellent tip. Don't get me wrong there are those people who make you glad you're in the service business, those who give you personal tips for singing, and others that simply realize that waiting on people sucks. You have to deal with the customer, the manager, the kitchen, and in my case, getting up to sing an operatic aria for these people, even if you happen to be somewhat out of breath from running up and down the stairs to the kitchen with trays piled high with your customer's food. My basic advice would be to put yourself in your server's shoes. After you bust your hump, for 2-3 hours on a table, on a check of $150, what's another $30? Honestly?
Hear, hear. I've never had to work in a restaurant setting, but I know the floorstaff is always caught in the middle and always on their feet. Combine that with the fact that they are in control of my food, I have always been a gracious tipper. It really sucks that they make below minimum wage, too, so I routinely tip 30-35%. This also works in my favor over time because I tend to revisit the same places and occasionally I'll find a few free garlic knots coming my way or somesuch.