Oodles of cinematic speculation today, boy and girls (courtesy of Dark Horizons).
Everyone can breathe easy, the Get Smart movie is on its way:
Warner Bros. has finally found a star to anchor its bigscreen version of the sitcom classic "Get Smart." Steve Carell -- formerly a field reporter on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" and a supporting player in such films as "Bruce Almighty" and "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" -- is making a deal to play bumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart...
I would think the continued existence of Leslie Nielsen makes the idea of a Maxwell Smart movie redundant. I suppose the original series was funny in that obvious '60s comedy sort of way, but the first movie spin-off - The Nude Bomb sure wasn't. It was so ridiculously unfunny, in fact, that children actually had night terrors for weeks afterwards.
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News of coming sequels may not fill most of you with dread, and that's fine, but don't let your comfortable lifestyle numb you to the fact that some of us are out there on the front lines every week seeing movies that wouldn't even exist in a just and ordered universe:
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" has found its German gigolo in the form of Til Schweiger. The Teutonic actor will play Heinz Hummer, a suave, cocky, high-ranking German gigolo whose life is threatened before the 73rd Annual Man Whore Awards. Rob Schneider and Eddie Griffin star in the Happy Madison sequel, which begins lensing this month in Amsterdam...
"Heinz Hummer?" Ah, le mot juste. You gotta hand it to Rob Schneider, though. When I finally sit down to write the Annals of Improbable Celebrities, Schneider will have an entire chapter.
Or maybe he'll share one with Steve Guttenberg. Haven't decided.
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Say it ain't so Slater-san!
CSI Files reports that a main character character will be killed off in the season premiere, click the link to find out which one.
Whoops, already spoiled it. In keeping with the locale, I predict Cochrane is quitting in order to travel the world and smoke weed with ex-Dolphins RB Ricky Williams.
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Finally, good news for fans of the X-Men films:
Halle Berry told The BBC that "After playing Storm in 'X-Men' and now Catwoman, I think my comic book hero days are probably over. That's unless I was lucky enough to play Catwoman again. I would love to do that. But other than that, I think I've pretty much done it".
Oh, I seriously doubt you'll be playing Catwoman again.
Still, this is great news, if only to spare us more lines about toads and lightning. Knowing my luck, however, Singer will replace Storm with Gambit or Jubilee or someone equally lame. I say bring on Colossus and Beast.
Or the White Queen. If you want to maintain the hot babe quotient, that is.
*Wipes chin*
I'd forgotten about the White Queen. What a hotty. Of course, that era of the X-Men was sorta like soft-core porn for geeks.
Yeah, how about Colossus? That three second tease was too much.
Hey, watch it buddy. I *love* Jubilee. She's so spunky!