George Lucas, a longtime foe of "colorized" movies, has sharply criticized Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment's decision to release two Three Stooges DVDs today (Tuesday) that will allow viewers to watch them in either their original black-and-white or digitally colored versions. In an interview with the Associated Press, Lucas said, that the Stooges' slapstick comedy belongs in a black-and-white universe. "Would color distract from their comedy and make it not as funny anymore?" Lucas said. "Maybe just the fact that they're in black and white makes it funny, because their humor is dated. But by putting it in black and white, it puts it in a context where you can appreciate it for what it was. But you try to make it in full living color and try to compare it to a Jim Carrey movie, then it's hard for young people to understand. ... It's not fair to the artist."
Someone is obviously confused by the critical point here; that Columbia TriStar is giving customers the option of watching either the black and white or color versions. This is unfathomable to Lucas, who refuses to release the original versions of the Star Wars trilogy on DVD, forcing fans to sit through the same kind of updating he's bitching about here. Worse, he continues to pile even more CGI into the films. Certain aspects of the original trilogy are "enhanced" (the space battles, filling every square inch of the Mos Eisley scenes with crap), while others are still woefully dated (the state-of-the-art Asteroids graphics of the Millennium Falcon's targeting computers). Does this not "distract" from the viewing experience?
The ones who should really be offended by this are the "young people" Lucas talks about. It wasn't bad enough that he thought they'd embrace Jar Jar Binks, who's destined to go down as one of the most loathed characters in movie history, but now he's saying that youngsters are too stupid to realize The Three Stooges aren't contemporary comedians. This in spite of the show's music, clothing styles, and the fact that all three principals (even Shemp) are long dead.
And I'm still waiting for my Howard the Duck special edition.
You've heard about the newest Lucas-fostered abomination, right? As I understand it, Sebastian Shaw (the actor who played the elder Anakin in "RotJ") has been digitally replaced by Hayden Christensen in the touchy-feely-glowy ghost sequence at the end of the film. The role of a real-live human being has been swapped another, for all posterity.
While I'm no big fan of "...Jedi," such flim-flammery (and outright violation) of artwork offends this film fan to near-apoplexy. I guarantee that lit majors would riot if all known texts of "Romeo and Juliet" were changed to include a happy ending amidst a battle between pirates and ninjas (a fast improvement, I know), as would art connoisseurs if all depictions of the statue of David were altered for modesty (except in Montgomery County).
Who's with me in storming Skywalker Ranch with pitchforks? Oh, wait--our armaments would all be digitally changed to walky-talkies, courtesy of crony Spielberg. Never mind.
What's this about eliminating Shaw in "Jedi?" It sucked bad enough when they replaced Wookiees with Ewoks and Kashyyyk with Endor. The suckage continues.
I was also hoping they would title Episode III "A New Hope (That It Doesn't Suck)."
Oh, well.
Hey, here's an idea: when the new Trilogy comes out in Special Edition, replace Jar Jar with Howard the Duck.
Pete, I am STILL waiting for the "Directors Cut" of HTD. Lea Thompson having simulated sex with a midget in a Duck costume?? I am SO waiting for that. Please.