A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

Ugly Americans

Now that the swimming and gymnastics sections of the Olympics are coming to an end, we can all look forward to greater focus on track and field and those flamboyant peacocks of the athletic world, track and field athletes.

Now, I'm not trying to paint all track stars as boorish louts. Just the American ones. Specifically, the sprinters. I probably first became aware of their unbridled egotism in 1984, when Carl Lewis first came to national attention. I wasn't a fan, but the guy won. Like the saying goes, it isn't bragging if you can back it up.

Things have gotten out of hand lately, however, and really reached a head in Sydney, when the American sprint relay team commenced to strip off their shirts, drape themselves in the flag, and generally act like idiots after their win. Perhaps they were just rejoicing that all had passed their steroid tests.

I haven't seen much of the track and field competition yet, but what I watched tonight made me realize I need to schedule my viewing a little more closely. The overall favorite in the 400 meters is a 20-year old from Baylor named Jeremy Wariner. The guy idolizes Michael Johnson (also from Baylor and one of the greatest 400m guys of all time) to the extent that he appears even to have copied his taste in jewelry. Nothing wrong with that, and one can probably even forgive the fact that Wariner, maybe the only white sprinter on the U.S. team, is one of those inexplicable Caucasians who seems to think he's black. The thing that's really annoying is that he insists on wearing his sunglasses at all times: even during a night preliminary, and also during his post-race interview. That's fine if you took a fork in the eye as a kid, like Jim McMahon. Otherwise, you just look like a prick.

Might be one of the reasons coverage of Wariner has been so sparse. If he's lucky, returning American sprinters Bernard Williams and Maurice Greene will help take some of the heat off him with some more antics.

Speaking of pricks (and getting back to swimming), please tell me we've heard the last of Gary Hall, Jr. The American gold medalist in the 50M freestyle was insufferable, both in his pre-meet interview and after his win, when he eschewed exiting on the side of the pool like everyone else and took a bow that the crowd wasn't really asking for. After his race, Hall was queried about why he wasn't asked to participate in (I think) the men's 4 X 100 freestyle. After listening to his answers, I feel pretty safe in saying it was because the other swimmers didn't want to swim with such an obvious jackass. And while I doubt many of the American swimmers are old enough to remember the S&L crisis of the 1980s, the fact that Hall is Charles Keating's grandson can't help his cause.