Richard Linklater has signed on to direct "The Bad News Bears" for Paramount Pictures. Billy Bob Thornton is set to star in the remake of the 1976 Walter Matthau feature about a group of Little League misfits who are transformed into a winning team. Geyer Kosinski is producing "Bears," which is due to go into production in November..."
Nothing would make me happier (except a Cardinals World Series win and a free case of Jameson) than to see the rotting corpse of Walter Matthau rise from the grave, seize Billy Bob Thornton by his chicken neck, and throttle him until he admitted he was a "booger eating moron."
I loved Tanner.
Anyway, the timeline's about right. The original Bad News Bears bowed in 1976, which is well within Hollywood's remake zone. It wouldn't have surprised me if Paramount decided to switch sports from baseball to something else, given the former's relative lack of popularity, but Little Giants has already been done, and the Mighty Ducks have become well nigh iconic in cinema circles.
Besides, it's not a given that this movie will suck (merely highly probable). Linklater, despite his occasional misfires, is a capable filmmaker. Part of the charm of the original was the fact that, even with the tough guy posturing, these were just little kids. How you duplicate that in the present - with our cynical, hard-bitten youth of today - is beyond me, although he could just go the Starsky and Hutch* route and set the remake in the 1970s. He showed with Dazed and Confused that he knows the decade pretty well.
So who do you get to play Amanda? I mean, most of the rest of the team could be populated with generic males, but Amanda was the cornerstone of the team. Tatum O'Neal was 13 at the time, but still convincing as a tomboyish pre-teen. My guess is they're going to have to go with an unknown, or just chuck that whole storyline and hire Lindsay Lohan. Boobs trump childhood chutzpah, after all.
* One of the worst movies I've seen all year, by the way
I was going to make the "booger eating moron" line my entry title, but sobriety prevailed.
Darn, Pete, this should be a Footage Fetish.
They should redo do the movie with soccer. That way you can have plenty of ball-crunching kicks, always good for a few laughs. Also, with a guest appearance from Mia it would be pure gold (pardon the pun).
Exactly! Hi-larious.
Hayley Duff as Amanda.
Lindsay Lohan's boobs are fake.
Ahmad was one of my favorite characters.
And there's no way that they will be able to get away with making the remake in anything remotely resembling the same spirit as the original. Between the PC Stazi in the left and the Morality Police on the right, there's no way anyone allows 3/4 of this movie into the script.
Lindsay Lohan can act. I'm not convinced anyone in the Duff family could hold their own in a Rob Schneider movie.
Unless this gets an R-rating (can you believe the original was rated PG?), the remake will be indistinguishable from any of the inspirational underdog sports movies that break out like Legionnaire's Disease every couple of years.
Lindsay Lohan at 13 would have been terrific as Amanda. Lindsay Lohan at 18 and her boobs would have distracted studio executives from a terrible idea. I would've paid to have seen her at 13 not at 18.
Hey, I bet one of the Bolger sisters from In America could pull off Amanda.
No one does "lovable curmudgeon" better than Matthau. I like Billy Bob as an actor but not in this role. He will be just too creepy for words. Just think about it---a cross btween Bad Santa and Sling Blade. The mind boggles!
Well, they remade "Rollerball," so why not "The Bad News Bears"?
I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly good 1970's-vintage movies that are crying out to be remade. Some of them might not even involve sports! How about "The Godfather"? "Taxi Driver"? "Star Wars"? (oops, fergit that) "Blazing Saddles"?
When are they gonna remake "Casablanca"? They could cast John Cusack, Madonna, Lindsay Lohan, and Snoop Dogg. "As Tiznit Goez Biznit"! Boffo!
In fact, why don't we just declare a one-year moratorium on new screenplays? That way we can get a bunch of these remakes out of our collective system and move on from there.
OK, I'm finished ranting. For now.
Cinematic rock-bottom (see #8) Another batch of movie round-up news from Mr. Elston Gunn. (1) Dakota Fanning will play Tom Cruise's daughter in Steven Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS. His biological daughter? A stretch indeed! To be serious: I......
| --Posted to Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness on Sep 14, 2004 12:55 PM:. |
At last, this franchise's final offering will not be The Bad News Bears Go to Japan!
I don't know how you could make this movie today. You can't have children around alcohol and still get a PG rating. Besides, you'd miss out on the best line:
"Well, what do you expect? All we got on this team is a bunch of Jews, spics, niggers, pansies and a booger eatin' moron."
PC the Bad News Bears was not.
Okay, actually the best line is from Kelly:
"I'm hitting .841, I'm on the Bears; You live around here? I got a Harley Davidson. Does that turn you on? A Harley Davidson?"
Comedy gold.