Been watching some new-ish movie trailers recently. I, for one, enjoy getting my plot points without the added tonnage of Pepsi One ads and sitting in front of a guy whose cell phone plays "Can't Touch This" (which was actually the high point of last night's Phantom of the Opera screening, but more on that later).
As excited as I am about the prospect of seeing bug-eyed aliens blowing the shit out of our treasured national landmarks, I can't help but think we've seen all this before. The film was initially going to be set in Victorian England, like the novel, but that seems to have gone out the window. Happily for us, bringing the story to the present day will allow for all sorts of nifty product placement opportunities.
This new teaser doesn't really show us anything aside from a bunch of suburbanites doing what they do best: staring into the distance at advancing carnage while inexplicably not heading for the hills. I mean, come on people, this is what those goddamned Land Rovers are for.
The 1953 George Pal version of War of the Worlds is one of my all-time favorite sci-fi movies, so while I'll retain some curiosity about the project, I don't expect to see any disintegrating priests like in the original. And if nothing else, hopefully it will erase the mental stain of Independence Day.
Mmmmm, ninjas.
Nonetheless, I have to question the necessity of retelling the origin story yet again. I'd wager that there are more Nader voters out there than there are people unfamiliar with why Bruce Wayne became Batman, so why devote 1/2 of the film to bringing them up to speed? You're going to get the same shit in the next Superman movie, as well as Elektra.
Why do you think everyone went to see Passion of the Christ? Because of all that boring "turn the other cheek" and "do unto others" crap from his early days? Hell, no! They wanted to see Jesus like we all remember him: brandishing his chain gun while driving an assault tank up Golgotha to crush the French and found the United States of America.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Whoa. That seals it, I cannot freaking wait to see this. I don't care if Depp's Wonka looks a lot like that Peter Pan weirdo, or if that theme song reminds me of Lisa's tunnel ride in Duff Gardens, I'm there opening day.
Come to think of it, I'll be there before opening day. Nyah.
"But I thought you hated remakes." I do, and this isn't one. Let's not forget, the 1971 version was "based on" the book, and Roald Dahl hated it. Burton is reportedly making a movie much truer to the book's darker underpinnings. Maybe we'll even get to see a vermicious knid.
Heh. I actually have a pass for 2 to see this tomorrow night, if anyone's interested. I'll be doing something slightly more enjoyable, such as sawing through the webbing between my toes with a butter knife.
Keanu Reeves brings about as much authenticity to the role of John Constantine as Rachel Weisz does to "cop on the edge." The only hope for this is to go in with the understanding that it doesn't have anything to do with the source material (JC would sooner put his Silk Cut out in your eye than utter a cheesy one-liner like, "Go to hell," for example). And I hope your acceptance threshhold for a gun shaped like a crucifix is greater than mine.
Of course, as I mentioned earlier, I did sit through The Phantom of the Opera last night, an experience I can best sum up with one word: "Hhrrgggccckkkkkkkk."
really, pete, it's andrew lloyd webber, for christ's sake. what did you expect?
Can I note that the knids were only in Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator? None in the first book!
really, pete, it's andrew lloyd webber, for christ's sake. what did you expect?
Exactly what I got, as it turns out.
Can I note that the knids were only in Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator? None in the first book!
They're mentioned in the first book, as one of the dangers the Oompa-Loompas faced. I'm hoping for a cutaway scene of that particular passage.
War of the Worlds - Wanna bet the government will use some sort of top-secret biological weapon to kill the alien intruders? I loved the original too. The common cold - what a bitch!
Batman Begins - I agree totally with the need not to show a superheroe's origin story. I think it is much better that, like most decent movies, you are just thrown into the story and you figure it out as you go. This is the reason I thought that the first X-men movie was only average. The background material stifled the plot and made the first half of the movie very tedieous.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - I really enjoyed Gene Wilder as Wonka in the orginal. He was pretty creepy, especially with his "Dearie Dear" when something unfortunate was happening to some deserving child. That being said, the overpowering morality tale lacks a bit of subtlety. Oh yeah, those Oompas really creep(ed) me out. "I thought you were ... (looking around furtively)... Circus Midgets".
Wanna bet the government will use some sort of top-secret biological weapon to kill the alien intruders?
I'm betting they die of heart disease brought on by eating too many fat Americans. Afterwards, Tom Cruise will stand on the rubble that used to be the Lincoln Memorial and offer a grim soliloquy on the dangers of high cholesterol.
The End...?
Cool pic from the '53 WotW there at the right; between the disintegrating priest and the mental gymnastics it takes to suspend belief long enough to accept Gene Barry as a scientist I've always enjoyed that one too.
I loved the original version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for one reason---Gene Wilder. His hair should have won an Oscar; it was absolutely mesmerizing! I also loved his yawning hysteria whenever one of the nasty little trolls was in imminent danger, "Oh no, oh help, oh stop...zzzzz...zzzzz..."
You have webbed feet? Hhrrgggccckkkkkkkk.