January 18, 2005
"Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?"
Posted by pete at January 18, 2005 6:32 AMWith the release of Episode III looming over us like a herd of hot, sexy bantha, George Lucas is extending the franchise's merchandising into heretofore unexplored areas:
As seen in this photo released in New York by Hasbro, Inc., Friday, Jan. 14, 2005, Hasbro, Inc.'s Playskool division is launching a new Mr. Potato Head figure, Darth Tater. Available at stores nationwide in February, kids will be able to have all kinds of mix 'n match, Mr. Potato Head fun with this wacky spud dressed as the infamous Star Wars saga villain, Darth Vader.
What kind of "mix 'n match" fun can you have with a Vader spud? Does his helmet come off, revealing the scarred potato beneath? From a variant standpoint, Darth Vader is really the worst option Lucas has: he only wears one outfit throughout the original trilogy, unlike - to pick one of the more egregious offenders - Luke (who had spiffy ensembles from Tattooine, as a stormtrooper and an X-wing pilot, and from Hoth, Dagobah, Jabba's palace, and Endor). Hell, even the stormtroopers had three versions ("classic," Hoth snowtrooper, and Endor).
Oh, what am I saying? Just look at him. Such a cute and cuddly Sith lord.
Among other things, it is weird to see eyes in Darth Vader's mask. I guess this at least allows for the possibility of an 'angry eyes' variant?
That's right, Episode III is going to be hardcore, balls-to-the-wall, dark-themed, nearly-R-rated, adult-oriented action! Which is why Darth Tater has a detachable penis.
There's something downright wrong with this.
Maybe he should be Darth Pineapple instead?
Awww, Darth Tater. I want one. Darth Tater is way cooler than that stupid washed-up Chewtabaga I used to have.
What now needs to happen is the incorporation of Darth Tater into the next Pixar 'Toy Story' movie. I'd pay the price of admission just to watch Tater crush the larynx of that stupid cowboy with a hand gesture.
That's really funny, Denny! I'd pay to see that too!
Next on the crossover merchandising list:
Princess Leia Barbie -- now with slave girl outfit and blaster!
My Little Wookiie -- I love to comb his rainbow hair and make him howl inarticulately!
Intergalactic Battleship -- Oh no, you sank my Star Destroyer!
Rebellion Moustrap -- Admiral Ackbar says, "It's a traaaap!"
Hungry Hungry Gungans -- I....no. That's not right. I can't go on.
"Intergalactic Battleship"
That one is aimed for a trademark dispute with "Battleship Galactica"
Those big, Eddie Cantor eyes and clownish feet will get ya everytime.
Congrats, I think that's the first Eddie Cantor reference we've had.
A Perfectly Cromulent Blog: "Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?"......
| --Posted to A Little Pollyanna on Jan 19, 2005 11:03 AM:. |
Lol, Pete. Just doing me part for all those Eddie Cantor fans out there.
Mel Brooks should sue for royalties.....Dark Helmet's likeness is being compromised for a spud. After all, this is about 'Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made'. Go get'em, Mel