As if that one bowel-clenching tidbit about the revamped Looney Tunes lineup wasn't enough, the Thing That Walks Like a Man points me to an honest-to-Avery preview of the abomination. I'll give you a few minutes.
...
That team of monkeys WB hired must have worked overtime to scrawl something this dreadful looking on the walls in their own feces. Let's run down the roster of "Loonatics," shall we?
Daffy Duck is now, uh, Duck - Weapons Expert: No chance of hearing, "Well, whaddya know...it disintegrated," I suppose. Equipped with built-in sonar. Like all ducks.
Wile E. Coyote is now Slick - Vehicle and Surveillance: Yes, "slick" is a clever variation on "Wile E." And of course, Wile E. Coyote is exactly who you want handling your vehicular needs. In one of the few appropriate changes, he also has "regenerative abilities."
The Roadrunner is Roadster - Speedster: I'm reasonably sure roadsters existed in the 1950s, so I'm not sure how this name is really an upgrade. Nice to see he and Wile E. could put aside their differences to combat...what was it? Oh yeah, "giant mutated worms" and "supernatural warlords with plans of world domination." No 28th century equivalents of Black Jacques Shellac out there, I guess.
Lola Bunny is Lexi Bunny - Disguise Expert: Makes sense. It isn't like anyone knew who Lola Bunny was to begin with. She has "super hearing," which must've taken a lot of thought, given that she's a fucking rabbit.
The Tasmanian Devil is...sigh...Spaz - The Muscle: Which muscle is never specified. Perhaps it's his tongue, seeing as how he possesses "jaws of steel."
Bugs Bunny is Buzz Bunny - The Leader: Equipped with laser vision and martial arts abilities, this bunny won't be dressing like a woman to fool hunters; apparently he'd rather pull Elmer's pancweas out and choke him to with it. And that "What's up, Doc?" sounds suspiciously like Joe Mantegna's Fat Tony, which makes a certain sense. Fat Tony is a sterotypical Mob character, and Buzz Bunny is stereotypical over-marketed dogshit.
I'd worry that my kids will grow up knowing this version of the Looney Tunes instead of the originals, except I'd bet my bootlegged WWII Porky Pig cartoons ("Son of a b-b-b-bitch") that they don't last more than two seasons.
HWRNMNBSOL, I think you're being too generous and optimistic. The fact this travesty is derivative is bad enough. What really kinks my colon is that the wizards behind this have destroyed the cheekily endearing and irreverent posture of the original characters. This derivation is nothing but a witless, anemic yet nasty copy. To the guy behind this morass of mediocrity I can only say one thing, "What a maroon!"
My eyes. MY FREAKIN' EYES.
That was DEEP HURTING
1. I'm officially a cranky old fart now.
2. This abomination will be an abject failure, ruining many a career at WB, which will allow for some schadenfreude on my part, but will ultimately be a sad thing for all those who treasure irreverence and immaturity in animation, which is one of the few places left where they can be found.
Someone on a board I'm on said that a big problem with this is going to be taking characters who did well in short pieces and putting them into long-form cartoons (as opposed to the Animaniacs fomula of making short films with new characters). I have to agree: the Justice Toons Unlimited approach reminded me of the lame full-length Tom and Jerry cartoons of the 70s, which you rarely see any more. The shorts are much better.
Also, what tunes are you going to learn from this stuff? No Rabbit of Seville here!
"Sinister forces of evil...." Oh no! That's the worst kind of forces of evil! Brought to you by your Department of Redundancy Dept.
Jesus this is like the Poochie version of Looney Tunes
Spaz?!? Did you say Spaz? Oh my! Why would anyone choose the name, Spaz. I'm afraid to watch the link. Here goes.
And just what evil will these "heroes" be fighting? (Bugs was always a lover and not a fighter--witness his penchant for cross-dressing to fool Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam...)
I'm just picturing, with horror, some of their opponents. Marvin the Martian with a big, savage dog. Elmer Fudd in a Darth Vader mask.
I'm actually surprised they didn't bring back Speedy Gonzalez as the wise-cracking speedster sidekick.
Take away their wit and sense of the absurd and invest them instead with lame-ass "super-powers" and you have the re-vamped Looney Tunes. The new cartoons will center around "fights and chase scenes." Um . . . Isn't that what......
| --Posted to Truly Bad Films on Mar 2, 2005 11:48 AM:. |
I'm grasping at straws here. My sanity is at stake.
Is it even within the same area code of the realm of possibility that this could actually wind up being a fairly neat send-up of Dark Knight -esque 'grim comix'? What are the odds that this may wind up being a subversive little show the way Animaniacs was?
I know, I know. Never tell me the odds.