April 6, 2005

Dear Astros

Posted by pete at April 6, 2005 12:40 AM

I realize yesterday was opening day, and in the spirit of the event you have to do all sorts of stunts and goofy publicity crap. And while I'm sure the flyover of Minute Maid Park by those fighter jets was quite impressive, in the future I'd request that you maybe alter their flight plan so that they don't come screaming over my neighborhood some 500 feet off the ground.

Once we switched on the TV and determined we weren't under attack (or if we were, it was being pre-empted by baseball coverage), the planes' purpose became clear. Even so, judging by the fact that half the people on our street were outside, gazing skyward with obvious apprehension (the planes cricled for a good five minutes), maybe you could have those guys come in from the southeast next time. People are a mite squirrely these days.

I reckon losing to the Cards is no less than you deserve.

Go 'stros

but yeah, that would suck

--Posted by flyno20 on April 5, 2005 11:45 PM

Yeah, we heard the flyovers, too. Didn't make the connection to the Astros game at the time, but it makes sense now.

--Posted by Charles Kuffner on April 6, 2005 7:30 AM

Thanks for the explanation of the flyovers. I was home to let out/feed the dogs before my usual Tuesday evening engagement and was just a bit unsettled by the whole thing. Glad to know that the skills of our brave pilots are being used to protect us from those pesky Cardinals. Obviously didn't help. Go, Cards!

--Posted by erica on April 6, 2005 10:11 AM

As a disappointed attendee who was well in his cups before the first inning, I have to say, What fly-over? Whoever runs concessions at Minute Maid (Aramark?) was so poorly prepared. After hopping the rail into the centerfield bar, we were dismayed to find the bar inoperable for thirty minutes while several beefy men in suits jiggled wires on the computer moniter. So then we went upstairs into another bar and waited 25 minutes for the first round and 30 minutes to close the tab. The few staff present were beyond overwhelmed, and you could see the bartender's frustration using the craptacular eloctronic pour spout that had to be changed from bottle to bottle. Poor guy probably walked with $300.
And Pete, I hope the Cards' plane goes down in some remote midwestern corn field and they are forced to eat their hormone-injected dead teammates to survive.

--Posted by basshole on April 6, 2005 10:22 AM

Why the hell would they have to eat their own dead if they were in a corn field?

--Posted by Pete on April 6, 2005 10:27 AM

"Why the hell would they have to eat their own dead if they were in a corn field?"

No one said they'd be smart; just hungry.

--Posted by denny on April 6, 2005 11:05 AM

Why the hell would they have to eat their own dead if they were in a corn field?
Depends on whose field they land in. If their Monsanto-GM tuned bodies are incompatible with ADM's cornproduct, they may be reduced to cannibalism in a corn field...
--Posted by Michael on April 6, 2005 11:10 AM

Pujols and Edmonds no eat corn. Pujols and Edmonds eat MEAT!!

--Posted by drew on April 6, 2005 12:12 PM

Yeah...Houston. The #1 place for a terror attack. Damned self important Texans.

I'll be at Opening NIGHT tonight in san francisco. it's nice to have a real team to root for in a real park. Nice choo-choo guys.

--Posted by Don on April 6, 2005 12:39 PM

Good luck without your marquee crybaby, dingus.

--Posted by Pete on April 6, 2005 1:05 PM

Once they drain his gigantic cranium, Elephant Man-style, the Giants are good to go. And have fun in your $2500/month efficiency broom closet.

P.S. I've seen better-looking starting pitchers in Nintendo's RBI Baseball. Brett Tomko's your #3? Good luck with that!

--Posted by norbizness on April 6, 2005 2:09 PM

Yeah dude, Andy Petite (yeah, I spelled it wrong on purpose) has done GREAT for you guys. At least Brett Bombko (as we call him) was never good.

--Posted by Don on April 7, 2005 1:16 PM



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