We're spoiled by the fact that She Who Shall Not Be Named is pretty well-behaved. With the exceptions of hunger, fatigue, and the TV cutting out mid-Elmo, we couldn't have asked for a sweeter kid.
Or so we thought, for SWSNBN - ever the overachiever - seems at times like she's getting a jump on the Terrible Twos. No longer is she content merely with what is offered, but now all within her line of sight must be presented to her, and every whim, no matter how fleeting, must be catered to immediately.
For a recent example, I had to run to the dry cleaners yesterday evening. The little darling, as she is increasingly wont to do, neglected to take her nap (she appears, regrettably, to be taking after her father's "sleep is boring" philosophical outloook). This only served to magnify her crankiness as we got to the dry cleaners and proceeded to stand in line.
SWSNBN is all about constant motion, so she was having none of this. 60 seconds of immobility? You might as well ask her to sit still when her face is washed, or divulge where she hid the DVD remote. Not wanting to cause a scene before it was absolutely necessary, I set her on the ground, foolishly thinking she'd be content to play with the fake trees in the corner.
Ha ha. No. When in a strange location, her M.O. is surprisingly consistent: seek out, with all haste, the largest, shiniest automobile (moving or not) or; make a beeline towards the loudest and most dangerous piece of machinery in earshot. When I gently tugged her away from the open door of the establishment and the jolly, candy-like Nissan Xterra which beckoned from outside, she immediately bolted for the "Mangler"-style steam ironer in the back of the store.
Belatedly realizing my folly, I scooped her up and resumed our place in line. Cue infernal din. Say what you want about Houston's air quality, my kid has a set of lungs that would make Tenzing Norgay proud. I did my ineffective best to calm her, but to no avail. It soon got to the point where the other customers were having difficulty being heard above her screeching.
This kind of thing is old hat to most parents. Hell, I haven't been doing it all that long and even I've gotten pretty good at ignoring my child's public fits. Not everyone shares this ability, however, and in no time at all the woman ahead of me asked if I'd like to cut ahead of her.
After asking her to repeat herself, I declined, pointing out she'd been there first. She said it'd be no problem, and when I looked at the two people ahead of her, they nodded as well. One out of sympathy, one of out childless irritation at having to endure the shrieking of an unwelcome house ape. With a smile at the first two people and a lip-curling sneer at the third, I headed to the counter. $14 and one slightly gnawed pencil eraser later, we were on our way home. SWSNBN happily bouncing along to Jason and the Scorchers and me contemplating stopping at the local ice house for a cold one.
The worst she could mess with there is the stupid Golden Tee machine.
Can you ask SWSNBN if she's seen MY remote? Stepping over the coffee table is really hindering my cable surfing.
Heh. We have been going through this with our recently turned two year-old, and it started about two months after she turned one. Pretty much if it isn't nailed down, it's fair game, and the fits escalate to defcon1 fairly quickly.
We are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, however, she seems to be acting more and more like a three year old lately, continuing to be ahead of the curve. Three is a fabulous age, where most of the issues deal with understanding what they are trying to say. Much more reasonable.
First, I'm humming "Big black nemesis, everybody happy as the dead come home" or however that line goes,
Cool. That was my intent.
I find the song popping into my head a lot these days, for some reason.
The band is what popped into my head, but it was Coelocanths.
Interesting post - I'm not sure i agree with the abuse of power, but hey, it worked for you. ;-)
Excellent, misery loves company. Welcome to my hell! In less than 2 weeks mine will be officially 2, but has mentally been there for months. ;-) I can't wait until I can sleep past dawn, is that asking too much?
Nah. Discussions about bad 90s bands and discussions about childrearing don't mix well, you gotta keep 'em separated....
Great post. It really brings back the memories. First, I'm humming "Big black nemesis, everybody happy as the dead come home" or however that line goes, and then I'm so terribly terribly thankful that I no longer have to hold a screaming child and the fruits of an errand while trying to remain calm.
Well done.