Neglected to report that the new Star Wars Report went up earlier this week and is eagerly awaiting your withering sarcasm.
It's true, I have read the Revenge of the Sith novel. Yeah, yeah, I still haven't gotten around to Remembrance of Thing Past or Great Expectations, but in the words of "Candy," the prison bitch from Brian Azzarello's "Hard Time:" don't you judge me.
Happily, many of the questions and concerns I had about were answered to my satisfaction. If you'd care to click the "More" link, I think you'll find them to your liking as well...
1. What of midichlorians? What?!
What about what now? In keeping with the pattern established in Attack of the Clones, no mention is made of these ridiculous microscopic Force germs. However, we do discover that Neimoidoians have a delicious, nougat-y center.
2. Does everyone in these movies live in the same cul-de-sac?
I assume you're referring to the annoying way Lucas keeps tying characters and other things (check out the Tantive IV in the latest trailer) from the Original Trilogy together with the prequels. Rumors even abounded that a young Han Solo would be somewhere in the film as well, and I can't have been the only one hoping for Han and the infant Leia to give us a repeat of the creepy child romance vibe we got between Anakin and Padme in Episode I.
In answer to the question: yes, they do. It's called Hutt's Landing.
3. How does Mace Windu die?
After a thrilling duel with Palpatine/Sidious, Mace is hanging precariously above Coruscant, totally at the Emperor's mercy. Anakin enters, and Mace, in desperation, offers the following soliloquy:
"After the Clone Wars, it took us a week to get out. Now, I don't know exactly when we turned on each other, but I know that seven of us survived the slide... and only five Jedi made it out. Now we took an oath, that I'm breaking now. We said we'd say it was the Sith that killed the other two, but it wasn't. The Dark Side is lethal but it doesn't hold a candle to man."
And then a shark eats him.
4. Now that this poorly scripted and laughably acted series of movies is about to mercifully come to a close, after you've spent large portions of the last 27 years obsessing over it, do you have any plans to seek out more adult pursuits? Or are you just going to keep bugging us every time Lucas opens his mouth from here on out?
Who let my mother in here? Next question.
5. What happens to Jar Jar?
You know, nothing I could come up with could possibly erase the ignominy of the flop-eared one's transgressions in Episode I. I'd love to tell you he crosses a hungover Wookiee and gets his arms pulled off, or Anakin uses him for Force choke practice, but I can't. He gets one sentence in the book, and no lines (I don't think). If they stick to this in the movie, I'll be fine with it.
One week to go.
Re: your comment in the article about "bringing balance to the Force", it's not so much the balance between the Sides so much as the fact that the millena-old cold war between Jedi and Sith has amped up the scope of the conflict, yet nobody can really see it. Basically, as one side grew more powerful, the other did so in a counter, and so now the pressures are about to tear everything apart. And so Anakin brings balance - by decaptating both orders and sending them back to the drawing boards, cutting the power of both factions.
See...balance.
Even if that's the case, why would Qui-Gon or anyone on the Council think this is a Good Thing? You're saying they volunteered to have everything they'd accomplished over the past thousand years undone in order to scale back the potential conflict with the Sith?
Why would they see it as a Good Thing? Think of this issue as a sort of metaphysical arms race - the Jedi become a bit stronger, and the Sith increase in power as a counter. So while the Order has managed to keep things quiet, the pressure's building, and if the cold war ever went hot, I think the fall of the Old Republic would be the least of their worries...
That said, it's unlikely that even the wisest of the Jedi quite grasp this, whether by a lack of understanding, or a wilful ignorance. I'd be willing to bet that Qui-Gon saw it, but he was pretty perceptive about that sort of stuff. But the majority of the council either can't or won't see that the escalating battle of light and dark is leading to the threat of galactic apocolypse...
Did you see Kevin Smith's review on the View Askew site? I refuse to be swayed until I see it for myself.