May 4, 2005

Three unrelated items which don't really warrant further exposition

Posted by pete at May 4, 2005 6:33 AM

1. The (maybe) penultimate Star Wars Report is up at Film Threat, and actually has been for a few days. Shame on you for not checking earlier.

2. Shades of things to come: Last night around 11:30 The Wife's cell phone rang. I checked the number and, not recognizing it, I answered it anyway. The guy on the other end sounded how I imagine an intoxicated adolescent would, not that I'd know:

Pete: Hello?
Drunk: Is [my daughter's name] there? Or do I have the wrong number?
Pete: Oh, you've got the wrong number, slick.
Drunk: Man, sorry about that.
Pete: Not at all, have another drink.

Coincidence? It better be.

3. I noted with some interest that APCB is #20 out of an apparent 101,949,112 on searches for "homosexual blog" on MSN (it was #6 yesterday when I first saw the referral). This all kind of happened below my radar, or on the "down low," as the kids say. And since I have siblings, I guess that makes me a "down low brother," yes?

What?

you sure it wasn't one of the guys from those bands she is so fond of? I'd give the stare-down to every teenager with a guitar or drum sticks when the time comes, just in case she's a magnet for bandies.

--Posted by verplanck colvin on May 4, 2005 8:36 AM

What Verplank said. This is what happens when you let your daughter start hanging around musicians. ;-)

--Posted by Curmudgeon on May 4, 2005 8:52 AM

In the Star Wars report, you say that reviews won't make a bit of difference in viewership, but I disagree (and may have called you from my stupor last night to discuss it). I hated the last two prequels so much that the thought of coughing up $8 to see this one was almost unimaginable. Until, that is, all of the raves started to surface from "respectable" sources. This does not mean that I'll admit to liking it, but only the bottom line counts these days anyway.

--Posted by basshole on May 4, 2005 9:01 AM

I'll call earlier next time.

--Posted by denny on May 4, 2005 10:33 AM

Looks like you've dropped further, I didn't see you in the top 40. On the positive side, though, we have a post on duck homosexual necrophilia

--Posted by owlish on May 4, 2005 10:58 AM

Looks like you've dropped further, I didn't see you in the top 40.

I, for one, have fallen out of favor with our queer overlords.

--Posted by Pete on May 4, 2005 11:06 AM

You're in denial, my friend. How many girls in town named Chardonnay? As for the gentleman caller, don't let the phrase "I used to be the bassist in Bouffant Jellyfish" fool you!

--Posted by norbizness on May 4, 2005 1:18 PM

You're in denial, my friend. How many girls in town named Chardonnay?

More than you'd think. And he didn't use her full name: Chardonnay LaQuita Vonder Haar.

--Posted by Pete on May 4, 2005 2:12 PM

Completely off the subject: I used to be in a jazz combo with Rob, the bass player from the Bouffant Jellyfish.

--Posted by basshole on May 4, 2005 3:15 PM

Tell the fucker to quit calling my kid.

--Posted by Pete on May 4, 2005 3:30 PM

I was too nervous at the time, but it was me and I didn't get the wrong number. You see, I am actually astrally projecting myself backward in time ala' Ashton Kutcher in 'The Butterfly Effect' in an attempt to save your daughter from a fate worse than death. You see, 15 years from now Chardonnay will be at the first Regal Cinema launch of 'The Forty' (an attempt to cram even more crass commercialism down moviegoer's throats). After the first twenty her poor fragile mind snaps and she proceeds ripping the audience apart with her bare hands, screaming "This is for my Dad you bastards!". Her sentence once brought before the court consists of repeated viewings of 'White Chicks' and 'Leonard Part 6', leaving her a shell of a human being...
Oh, wait, did you say Vonder Haar? I was looking for Chardonnay Vond Erhardt, my bad.

--Posted by Rob on May 4, 2005 4:08 PM

Pete, I think the homosexual surfers are confusing A Perfectly Cromulent Blog (APCB) with A Perfectly Cromulent Boink (APCB). It's an understandable mistake.

--Posted by BabyJane on May 4, 2005 7:12 PM



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