Nope. Couldn't bring myself to watch NBC's latest desecration of Greek mythology. I lasted about 15 seconds before Hercules' Irish accent and Leelee Sobieski's astounding fake tan caused me to pop my own eyeballs out with my thumbs.
So let's talk about Everwood. I mostly avoid the WB's offerings (Gilmore Girls being an exception, for some reason), but The Wife started watching this back when it started and I occasionally find myself checking it out as well. It's not really hard to keep up with the adventures of Dr. Andy Brown (Treat Williams) in the sleepy sort of Wyoming Colorado town that only exists in the memories of the elderly and on WB shows.
One of the reasons I usually find something else to do on Monday nights is the character of Ephraim, Dr. Brown's son. I don't know if he's meant to be written as the whiniest little bastard on television, but that's how he comes across. It's intolerable. Mr. Williams, I've seen your Substitute movies (except for Failure Is Not an Option, which is in my Netflix queue)...I know how depressingly easy it would be to bring the pain to that little shit. You say the punk is disrespecting you in your own home? Bust some kneecaps like you did in Winner Take All. What's that? He blew off his Juilliard audition to meet up with that little hussy you ran out of town last year? How about getting all Daniel Ciello on his ass?
What would Critical Bill do? What would "Stretch" Sitarski do? What would...Xander Drax do?
Oh, and the whole "Rose has cancer" thing? Cheese. More faux schmaltz for the 7th Heaven crowd. What the producers ought to do is have Dr. Jake try a sneaky new gene therapy treatment on Rose that goes awry, turning her into something like Nemesis from the Resident Evil games. She goes berserk, killing Dr. Jake, Ephraim, and her entire family before Dr. Brown blows her and half the town to hell, just like in Deep Rising. Afterwards, he heads out on the road to battle supernatural evil using only his surgeon's wits and a crate of dynamite he liberated for an abandoned mine.
This is probably why I don't work in TV.
I always assumed Everwood was actually meant to be Evergreen, Colorado, although the citizens of Evergreen would never allow their town to be portrayed on a low-brow channel like WB.
i thought everwood took place in colorado
Whoops.
Now, did I actually not know that? Or am I merely trying to bolster my claim that I don't regularly watch it?
Dude. If you ever get a job writing for TV, let us know.
Soap opera, game show, Emeril's cooking show... anything.
Perhaps you could write a Kung Fu Zombie Trivia Game Show where Emeril gets shocked with a cattle prod each time someone answers a question correctly?
Jesus man. Gilmore Girls (which is on now...in the other room...which isn't nearly far enough away) is the only TV show that makes me physically angry. I frigging h-a-t-e it. The way they talk in that moronic Sorkin-esque banter...ugh.
By the way, did you know they're actually mother and daughter but they act like friends!?! Wheee!! Woo hoo! If you didn't know, that f-ing show crams that little plot device down your throat at any opportunity.
The way they talk in that moronic Sorkin-esque banter...ugh.
I ain't watching for the dialogue.
i thought everwood took place in colorado?