Bad TV Ponderings is an infrequent look at low quality television. Because someone has to.
I love summer. Sure, I hate the fact that temperatures in Houston top out in the 90s until October, and that we spend the entire season with one eye nervously affixed to the Weather Channel's "Tropical Update," and that there's still four months until college football season.
But I love summer TV.
It's like the networks know nobody is spending their balmy evenings in front of the tube, and so they don't even try. For example: Dancing With the Stars? I suppose if this was Slam Dancing with the Stars and Evander Holyfield got to piledrive Joey Mcintyre into a wall, I might dredge up some enthusiasm, but otherwise, nuh-uh. Even so, you have to admire the balls it takes to float a prime time ballroom dancing special.
And then there's Hit Me Baby One More Time, wherein one-hit wonders get a chance to drag their tired asses out on stage again to lip synch along with "Working for the Weekend" or "Finally" to the alarm/delight of Gen-Xers and post-ironic adolescents everywhere. And if that wasn't enough of a train wreck for you, they also do cover versions of a more current hit (I think covering Enrique Iglesias effectively negates any bad-boy cred Loverboy might once have possessed).
Last night saw A Flock of Seagulls (who I missed), the aforementioned Loverboy, Arrested Development, Tiffany, and CeCe Peniston, with AD taking the glory. Just what the "glory" is was never really clear, however. Since the coming weeks will feature other bands (The Motels! Wang fucking Chung!), I assume there will be some sort of final competition, after which the winner will be dismembered and fed to man-eating narwhals.
You really owe it to yourself to check out the videos on the official site though, if for no other reason than to do a before-and-after evaluation of Mike Reno ("It was just as if everyone had swelled.") and Tiffany, who - from what I saw last night - must be breastfeeding. It was a bold ensemble, to be sure.
Arrested Development are still pretty good, even if it always looked like they needed to thin the ranks a little. There were no less than four vocalists ("A game of HORSESHOES!") and, I assume, one DJ, but that still leaves a half dozen people doing nothing more than jumping around or bobbing their heads in somewhat rhythmic fashion.
Hell, hand out a couple of horns and they could start calling themselves Ska-rrested Development.
Oh thank God! I wasn't the only completely desperate and pathetic TV viewer to tune in to Dancing with the Stars. Sorry, Pete, but watching Holyfield trip the light fantastic with his obviously terrified partner really is the nadir of pathetic TV viewing. OK at least I wasn't wearing threadbare pajamas and fluffy slippers as I watched. I still have some dignity.
Did you at least feed the cats? ;)
It was a while back, but i'm just reading it now:
Godfather Pt. II better than the original? i love part II, but no way.
I agree aressted D needs to thin the ranks, but if anyone takes grandpa off the stage there will be hell to pay.
by the way, i understand that arrested has only one "s"...this is what happens when one writes a response in the presence of a teething 9 mth old.
Sorry
What strikes me most about the bands/artists involved is that they are not entirely the typical "fluke" successes or one-hit-wonders. These were bands that actually had career arcs (albeit small arcs). It speaks volumes about our society that these people would lower themselves to this level and still be able to sleep at night.