I just realized that I'm spending a lot of money on this football thing. There's the Fanball league, and the pick 'em league, and a couple others I'd rather not discuss on a site The Wife reads. All told, it's starting to add up. I can sort of justify it because, since the coming of The Child, I really don't have a lot of time to spend money on those things what formerly brought me leisure time enjoyment, such as comic books, video games, and high-grade Peruvian blow.
Anyway, the big problem with fantasy football in the internet age is the sheer volume of advice, analysis, and uninformed bullshit out there. Back when I started doing this, you had some magazines and the occasional segment on ESPN. Now, there are sites calculating every possible variable, just so you can sound all erudite when you say things like, "Moss may dog it across the middle, but he's going to free up a lot of coverage for Whitted and Curry."
Since my time is so valuable, I have to limit my research to a few key sources, and while they he isn't exactly the source for daily updates, this guy is pretty hilarious:
Peyton [Manning] is a dumb rube and from the second the dusty seed of his father found purchase, it was decided that his male brood would be raised with the singular purpose of becoming football players and hopefully achieving the zenith of success that eluded their old man (See: Earl Woods). I can see it now-Peyton miraculously figures out how to defeat the Patriots and reaches the Superbowl, making quick work of some shitbomb NFC team that won their division with an 8-8 record [Vikings and Packers in unison: Hey, fuck you!]. As he finally hoists the Lombardi trophy over his head, the lights go out and a sinister cackle is heard-Archie Manning flies in on a hoverboard and swipes the prize from his son's hands and as he flies off he drops a pumpkin bomb, vaporizing his now useless son.
That's funny on a number of levels, and not just because I have Peyton Manning in my keeper league.
You should have hand-cuffed Davenport, too.
Regardless, Ahman Green is an NFL player. Therefore, because he did not get caught with a dead body in his trunk, or have a conversation recorded by law enforcement in which he negotiated a drug deal, he'll likely get a slap on the wrist and be on the field on Week 1.
Yeah, football info is almost more geared to fantasy fans these days, than regular NFL fans. For example, the recent tid bit announced today about starting Packer's running bach, Ahman Green, pleading guilty to criminal wife-beating charges (not the felony kind, at least). Sure, his lawyers are trying to structure the deal so that he might not get fined/suspended by the NFL. But, outside of Green Bay fans, who else would possibly care? The only reason this info is getting spread around so fast is because the fantasy freaks deal in this inside information like Chinese black market vital organs. Good thing Green isn't on my team, at least.