September 30, 2005
"Send more quarterbacks"
Posted by pete at September 30, 2005 12:11 AM'stina over at Texas Law Chick has an entry about a pretty remarkable guy. His name's Bobby Martin and he plays noseguard for Colonel White High School in Dayton, OH. He also doesn't have any legs:
Most of you can see where I'm going with this.
I think what this guy has accomplished is remarkable, truly. Personally, I'd probably be well into a smack habit after losing both legs. But let me just say if I was an opposing quarterback and saw this guy coming at me, my mind would probably be filled with images of Jerome Coleman from Return of the Living Dead:
The legless dead have a rich and storied tradition in zombie cinema, from Fulci's Zombi 3, to Return, to the Dawn remake, to this year's Land of the Dead. If Bobby's teammates really wanted to exploit the advantage he gives them, they'd screen one or all of these movies for the opposing team before the game in the hopes that they would collapse into a mewling fetal ball when the guy started coming at us.
Hey, it's what I'd do.
OK, that's just wrong! Actually, that reminds me of a perfectly tasteless and outrageously non-p.c. joke from my childhood.
Johnny: Mrs. Brown, can Jimmy come out and play?
Mrs. Brown: Why Johnny, you know Jimmy has no arms and legs.
Johnny: I know. We want to use him for third base.