October 7, 2005

Can't be worse than The Cat in the Hat

Posted by pete at October 7, 2005 11:19 AM

National Lampoon's Pledge This

I don't know if immediately referencing past NatLamp classics like Animal House and Vacation is the best way to segue into something that will likely undoubtedly be the worst movie of the year.

Those al-Qaeda guys are idiots. They shouldn't be trying to place suicide bombers on American soil, they should recruit and train an army of sleeper heiress bimbos whose zany televised and theatrical antics continue to lull us into such a state of fascinated torpidity we become too dull-witted and flabby to defend ourselves.

This assumes they wouldn't be averse to stealing a page from our own government, of course.

Curious George

A few things:

1. That looked a lot to me like the latest "Curse of Monkey Island" game, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

2. With Ron Howard producing, I suppose we can rule out any references to Ebola or feces, which probably is a bad thing.

3. What are the odds that the bald, nerdy guy with glasses is the one voiced by David Cross?

4. "Magical new songs by Jack Johnson?" "Magical" would be songs less soporific and whiny than his current ones, but I'm not holding my breath.

The Passion of the Clerks

The most offensive thing about this movie is likely to be Smith's continued aversion to using a dialogue editor.

I never realized the Man in the Yellow Hat and Curious George shared so much Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name.

My childhood was a lie.

--Posted by The Thing That Walks Like A Man on October 7, 2005 11:47 AM

A correction, Pete. Ron Howard's only producing "Curious George". The director is Matthew O'Callaghan, who's been responsible for some direct-to-video Disney fare as well as the animated Louie Anderson show, "Life with Louie".

--Posted by Rory L. Aronsky on October 7, 2005 11:58 AM

So he is. I'll fix that.

--Posted by Pete on October 7, 2005 1:01 PM

You know what I'd like to see? "Bi-Curious George." As in George W. Bush. Call me a pervert, but I'd watch.

--Posted by basshole on October 7, 2005 3:44 PM

Suddenly, I am so happy that I don't have Pete's job!

--Posted by VKW on October 7, 2005 5:16 PM

LOL, Pete. Great review. And Basshole, "bi-curious George" indeed. I just platzed from laughter.

--Posted by Baby Jane on October 7, 2005 7:35 PM

Personally, I have always preferred the timeless classic _Curious_George_and_the_High_Voltage_Fence_.

--Posted by HWRNMNBSOL on October 8, 2005 7:14 AM

Personally, I don't care much for Jack Johnson. They really should have tried to get John Jackson.

--Posted by Josh on October 10, 2005 7:52 AM

Or Jack Jackson. That homeless guy can rap! ;)

--Posted by Rory L. Aronsky on October 10, 2005 1:09 PM



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