HWRNMNBSOL gets things started down below:
Okay, Cardinals fan, it's officially on. The Astros will once again meet the Cardinals to determine who will represent for the NL. I can think of no place better than your blog to lay the smack forth.
All season I've been hearing nothing but talk about how the Cardinals are going to repeat. Best ERA in baseball this. Best offense that. Blah blah blah.
Fuck that noise. The Astros have something the Cardinals don't have, and that's the ability to cheat death. Whether it's making the playoffs on the last regular season game, or defeating the Braves in a history-shattering 18 innings of play[1], the Astros have shown that they have what it takes to go to the wire and come back victorious.
To the Cardinals, I say: tee it up, chump-ass bitches. This is the year that the Astros go to the World Series and show St. Louis how it's done.
[1] which, if you think about it, was like playing a regular game and then a whole additional game of no-hitter baseball.
Yes indeed, the Astros were mighty impressive in limping off the field yesterday after finally putting the TV-watching audience out of their misery. Of course, lets not forget that Only In Enron Minute Maid home run (this one courtesy if Berkman) that gave you the chance. To paraphrase Tommy Lee Jones in Cobb, "My grandmother could hit a baseball 335 feet." The bad news for you is, you only get three games there.
What you call the "ability to cheat death" I call a rapidly draining reservoir of luck. Kudos on barely hanging on to win the wild card spot (while the Cards won the division by a comfortable 11 games) and outlasting the Braves (who are officially the Buffalo Bills of MLB), but do you really want to rely on intangibles against Pujols, Edmonds, and a reinvigorated Sanders and Walker? If that's your big strategy, Garner's in more trouble than I thought.
One of the hopeful side effects of all these 11th hour comebacks is the possibility that some Astros fans will succumb to heart attacks, giving me a little more elbow room at my local sports bar.
It all hits the fan Wednesday. Until then, bring it.
First of all, none of the weak insults you can throw at LaRussa can come close to the shit Cardinals fans have been showering him with for years. Stick with what you know, like trading away offensive talent.
You better pray to the god of second-rate infielders that every one of your starters pitches a no-bitter, because there won't be any run support coming from those gimped-up sub-.300 jokers in Houston's lineup.
"roided-up 36-year-old" my ass.... Will you still be saying that at the Cooperstown induction ceremony?
Go Cards!!!!!
Please, please. You're both right. The Astros suck and the Cards suck too. They just plain suck! I've seen teams suck before, but they are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
Uh, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening.
Can't we just agree that the Yankees suck and move on?
Can't we just agree that the Yankees suck and move on?
That's a given. We're several layers deep in nuance, here.
LaRussa's hair will live forever. He has the statistics to prove it. Pete Rose should be jealous.
No, Len, because by then he'll have the roids out of his system and be 50something.
And Pete, listen to yourself. If there's no run support, what would it matter whether it's a no-hitter or a 10-hit shutout? Plus, there's always Isringhausen to torch.
And Pete, listen to yourself. If there's no run support, what would it matter whether it's a no-hitter or a 10-hit shutout?
You can win a game without scoring runs? I think we'll have to move the "Genius" title from LaRussa to Garner.
Plus, there's always Isringhausen to torch.
Torch. Right. That's why his ERA is 2.14.
Look at us, man. Arguing about a closer's ERA. This ain't right, man. It ain't right. Plus, his ERA against Houston was 4.15, with two blown saves.
Plus, his ERA against Houston was 4.15, with two blown saves.
That would be two of the five games (out of 16) against the Cards that Houston won during the season. Good average.
I grant you, Lidge has been nails against St. Louis this season. But the fact he only appeared in three games shows how often the Astros actually had a lead to protect.
This is the year that the Astros go to the World Series
Hahahaha... I'm over 30 and haven't followed this thing you call "base-ball" for many years. Face it: even I know this is some kind of crazy joke.
The real issue is why the major networks continue to ignore teams from the middle of the country (anything other than New York and L.A.). There isn't even a mention of the marathon Astros game on front pages of SI.com, ESPN.com or CNN.com.
I don't really have anything useful, or even witty, to say. Nonetheless, I feel as though I'd like to smack Pete in the head. Since I can't do that (he is not here, and he is quite a bit beefier than I am), I will just call him a stinky poopoo-head here where everyone on the InterWeb can see it.
Pete - we all like you very much, but you are a complete stinky poopoo-head. Try not to gloat too much when the Cards beat our lovable Disastros.
P.S. If the 'stros bead the Redbirds, there will be no end of gloating on my part. Deal with it.
Beat, dammit, I meant to write beat, not bead. If some members of the 'stros do things with beads to some members of the Cards, that is entirely their own business, and I have no comments about it.
My threat to punch you in the nuts if the Stros lose in the seventh game stands. I'll grant you that the Cards may be the best MLB team this year, but the Astros have been playing some pretty fine ball as of late, and I believe momentum will be on their side. And besides, fuck all things St. Louis. Just because.
"Buffalo Bills of MLB"? Way harsh. Think about it this way: The 'Stros went 3-1-1 in 4 games. If you could clone Oswalt, you'd be a lock.
Jax - yesterday, the front of ESPN.com was plastered with coverage of the Houston-Atlanta game ... even during the peak of the NFL games. The front story all day was the 18 inning classic... and ESPN radio this morning featured a debate of whether this was the greatest playoff game ever played. CNN.com also prominently featured the game yesterday.
Are Web sites supposed to keep stories for 24 hours without refreshing just to avoid perceptions of a coastal bias?
Anyway, as a baseball fan I am looking very forward to the Cardinals-Astros series... should be really good baseball and a really compelling series.
Who better to quote than the brain surgeon Cobb when it comes to modern baseball. When he wasn't sharpening his cleets on second basemen's teeth, he was beating women and talking about Babe Ruth's ethnicity. There's someone who you should quote to prove your point.
Oh yeah, by the way, I would definitely choose cheating death over being really good, I mean the Highlander wasn't necessarily a great hitter, but you had to cut off his head to win. And when this is all over we'll be singing another dreadful Queen song, after we decapitate your bunch of bitches.
Wow, Steve, you managed a complete left-field Highlander reference, made an APCB Beerfest allusion, AND managed to insult Pete and his team of cap-wearing vaginas. I am SO impressed.
I hereby move for unanimous consent for Steve to revise and extend his remarks.
Ah yes, who better to opine on the state of modern baseball than an Astros fan? You could wax rhapsodic on the changing face of the World Series through the past several decades, but that might actually require you to have been in one.
I wouldn't have to quote Cobb concerning present day ballparks if Drayton McClane and his group had built theirs with someone other than Chick Fewster in mind as a typical hitter. You guys are more like the Highlander than you know; you've had your one good outing, and everything that comes next is going to be progressively worse. I figure by the time the series comes back to Houston, you'll be well into Endgame, and not even Adrian Paul will be able to save you.
I hereby move for unanimous consent for Steve to revise and extend his remarks
I wouldn't hold your breath, it took him an entire day to come up with that.
And it's "cleats."
Damn, that's some funny shit.
I just poked my head in here to bitch about the fact that Fox is pre-empting the finest comedy to ever grace network television, Arrested Development, until October 31st for this bullshit.
As if I needed one more reason to hate Baseball (or Fox, for that matter).
you've had your one good outing, and everything that comes next is going to be progressively worse.
Progressively worse? So McHighlander the TV Franchise was worse the Highlander II? I'm not sure I'm buying...
Forget Highlander; the ideal Astros movie analogy is a zombie movie. They're not fast. They're not powerful. They're not all that smart. But they just keep coming. They don't lie down and quit. They keep clawing at you, breaking down doors, busting through windows, moaning and clutching, until eventually they overwhelm you and devour your brains.
Okay, the analogy breaks down at the end there. So what. Astros: Shambling Toward Glory!
You may be right, Pete. LaRussa usually waits until the World Series to choke like Latrell Sprewell in a room full of PJ Carlissimo impersonators.
However, I sense that the devil has come to reclaim Carpenter's soul in exchange for his 20-win season. I assume that Mulder is the second starter, followed by rag-arm Morris. I'll still take Houston's starting pitching, which, as we know, beats roided-up 36-year-old hitting (Pujols) anyday. Time to correct that birth certificate, Albert.