November 14, 2005

Catching up with APCB

Posted by pete at November 14, 2005 7:23 AM

This was one of the things I'd hoped to write about this weekend while the Whiterose.org connection was wonky. It's probably not as funny now. Assuming it ever was.

Over the next few months, posters reading "In God We Trust" will appear in every Glynn County school classroom.

Although the school board knows the posters have potential to stir up controversy, it feels they are legal under state law because no tax dollars are being used, reported WJXT-TV in Jacksonville, Fla.

The posters are the idea of Brunswick's First Baptist Church, which is paying for the printing and framing. Boy Scouts will distribute and hang the posters -- expected to be in every school by next year.

"'In God We Trust' is the national motto -- it's on every single dollar bill," said Debbie Brown of First Baptist Church. "It's just important that our students understand, one, where our foundations are based, and, two, it's connection to our country."

Seeing as how the so-called "national motto" didn’t actually appear on the dollar bill until 1957, maybe Ms. Brown would consider these options, all taken from Warner Brothers cartoons of that same year:

"Hassan chop!"
"Kill the wabbit!"
"Wild turkey surprise?"
"What? That rabbit’s name over mine?"
"I need, I say, I need a pointer. And that dog’s got just the head for it." (might be too wordy)
"Consequences, shmonsequences…as long as I’m rich."
"Magic helmet?"
"Acres and acres of Tweety Bird!"
"I’m rich! I’m a happy miser!"
"When in Slobovia, do as the other Slobs do."
"What’s up, duck?"

Selecting any of these would be just as logical as asserting that our country swears fealty to the monstrous nuclear chaos known as Azathoth (I assume that's the "god" to whom she's referring) while ignoring the doctrine separating church and state.

"My own feeling in the matter is due to my very firm conviction that to put such a motto on coins, or to use it in any kindred manner, not only does no good but does positive harm, and is in effect irreverence, which comes dangerously close to sacrilege...It is a motto which it is indeed well to have inscribed on our great national monuments, in our temples of justice, in our legislative halls, and in building such as those at West Point and Annapolis -- in short, wherever it will tend to arouse and inspire a lofty emotion in those who look thereon. But it seems to me eminently unwise to cheapen such a motto by use on coins, just as it would be to cheapen it by use on postage stamps, or in advertisements."
--Nobel Peace Prize Honoree, 26th Pres, Republican, and Sunday School Teacher Theodore Roosevelt
I'm always sorry the Repubs pay no attention to Teddy anymore. For people who want to turn back the clock, he was pretty much their high point.
--Posted by Michael on November 14, 2005 8:33 AM

Excellent counterpoint, Pete! I'd vote for the Foghorn Leghorn quote, as even though it's wordy, I say that rooster sure was funny.

--Posted by Brandon on November 14, 2005 9:22 AM

Plus it's not even the national motto. I believe that's still, "E Pluribus Unum" but there's no way to rule out "Where did all these damn Indians come from?"

Aaron

--Posted by ez reader on November 14, 2005 11:26 AM

ez: Nope, the same congress who gave us the modified Pledge gave us the new, improved motto.

Because Godlessness is next to communism, don'tcherknow.

--Posted by Michael on November 14, 2005 11:50 AM

Dear Religious Right:

Hey guys, thanks for all the praise and stuff. However, you seem to have missed one of my more fundamental points, (which is ironic for you self-professed "fundamentalists"). Faith isn't compulsory. I'm really honored that you dig my work, and spreading the good word is fine and all. But true faith comes from within; you can't force it on other people and, frankly, I'm a little disturbed at how hard some of you are trying to do just that.

So relax. Celebrate your beliefs. If others agree, super. If not, it's on you to have the grace and spiritual fortitude to respect each others differences and move on with your own life. In sum, while I'm flattered that you want the rest of the world to love me just as much as you do, faith is something all people are entilted to embrace or reject as a matter of free will. Try and remember that.

Your pal,

Jesus.

--Posted by denny on November 14, 2005 2:02 PM

"Consequences, shmonsequences…as long as I’m rich."

Wow, nothing else quite captures America like this one. Hm. Disturbing.

--Posted by Fuzzball on November 14, 2005 4:09 PM

denny/jesus-
spot on. that just about sums it up. amen.

--Posted by basshole on November 14, 2005 6:31 PM

Michael,

Thanks for the correction -- things are a lot worse than I thought...

--Posted by ez reader on November 15, 2005 10:41 AM

To think the money could have been spent on an insignificant cause such as fighting poverty and starvation among God's children. Posters spouting wingnut drivel is a worthier cause.

--Posted by Baby Jane on November 16, 2005 10:21 PM



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