A Perfectly Cromulent Blog

Ollie Ollie insight free

Normally I leave the point-counterpoint with the likes of Ann Coulter and Jonah Goldberg to those with the steely resolve required to actually read their bilge all the way through. However, this one, written by none other than Oliver North, caught my eye:

Yesterday, November 10, was the 230th anniversary of the founding of the United States Marine Corps. Today, November 11, is Veterans’ Day. Lance Cpl. Aaron Mankin, USMC, observed both celebrations from Brooke Army Medical Center here in San Antonio. He’s been here for months—recovering from burns and wounds he received earlier this year near Al Qaim, Iraq. I was there, covering his unit for FOX News when the Assault Amphibious Vehicle he was in was blown apart by an improvised explosive device. This week, I was privileged to spend part of this year’s Marine Corps anniversary with him here in San Antonio. It would have been nice to have introduced him to some of the fools in Hollywood.

It’s pretty clear that those making movies in Tinsel Town don’t know any real men like Aaron Mankin. They apparently prefer cowardice over courage; witless whiners to real patriots; gutless wimps and hollow phonies to men who know the meaning of self-sacrifice and integrity. That’s the only conclusion one can draw after seeing Hollywood’s latest anti-military travesty: Jarhead.

Three and a half stars on Film Threat! Goddamned pinkos.

The newly released film is loosely based on an anti-Marine screed crafted by Anthony Swofford, who purports to be a “veteran” of Desert Shield and Desert Storm in 1990-91. Mr. Swofford maintains it is an accurate depiction of his military experience, from boot camp—where he claims to have been abused and belittled by a maniacal drill instructor—to his mutinous “tour of duty” in Saudi Arabia during the first Gulf War.

"Purports?" That would seem to be an easy thing to check out. And I thought we were all on board with the abusive DI as being essential to all post-Vietnam military comedy.

"A witty, profane, down-in-the-sand account of the war many only know from CNN, this former sniper's debut is a worthy addition to the battlefield memoir genre," says a book review by Publisher's Weekly. But this is no “Battle Cry”—by Leon Uris—a real battle memoir by a real Marine. The plug for CNN could easily have read, "ABC," "CBS" or "NBC" – for all the so-called mainstream media have covered war and warriors with equal disdain. And just in case the reader is dense enough to misunderstand what the work is really about, the reviewer helpfully notes that Mr. Swofford "questions whether the men are as prepared as their commanders, the American public and the men themselves think they are."

One might conclude from the book and movie reviews that this is simply another antiwar epic. But this isn’t Red Badge of Courage or All Quiet on the Western Front—two great books and films that accurately depict the horror and carnage of war. Nor does Jarhead contain any of the cutting, satirical humor of M.A.S.H. or Catch-22—both of which portray war’s futility.

Uh, Jarhead isn't supposed to be satire. And Swofford comes at war from a completely different angle than Remarque in All Quiet on the Western Front. Swofford has issues with the bureaucracy that keeps a soldier from being outfitted with the correct equipment and receiving conflicting orders, while Remarque concludes that all such endeavors are ultimately futile. Both agree, however, that even the soldiers who survive combat are essentially screwed.

It’s not that Hollywood has always failed those who fight our wars. During and after World War II, every studio produced films that encouraged a war weary nation—and showed American soldiers, sailors, airmen, Guardsmen and Marines as committed, courageous and compassionate. But that was the "good war"—and as the fictional Saving Private Ryan proved—both in critical acclaim and at the box office—decades after it ended, Hollywood remains comfortable making movies about the great crusade against fascism.

Every studio was also receiving government money to produce pro-war propaganda. We'd have to wait until after the "good old days" of the late '40s and '50s to see realistic accounts of the firebombings of Dresden and Tokyo, or the internment of Japanese-Americans. And we're still waiting for an accurate film representation of the Roosevelt Administration blocking European Jews from entering this country during the Holocaust.

But clearly, "winning" a war isn’t a prerequisite for a positive portrayal on the silver screen. Though the Korean War ended in stalemate—the first war we didn’t "win"—film-makers were still able to show the Americans who fought there in a positive way. The Bridges of Toko-Ri—based on Michener’s novel—has a tragic ending like the war in which it was set—but it is still a saga of bravery and self-sacrifice.

This really appears to be North's whole beef with Jarhead: nobody dies. Bravery - such as when Swofford and his squad advance into enemy territory - is pointless if it turns out they weren't facing any actual enemy. The fact that these guys didn't know that is lost on our humble narrator.

Even the much-maligned Vietnam War has a small handful of films accurately depicting the valor and perseverance of those who served there. We Were Soldiers Once, based on the account of Gen. Harold Moore and reporter Joe Galloway, of the events of November 14-16, 1965, when 450 U.S. soldiers were airlifted into Ia Drang Valley and immediately surrounded by elements of the North Vietnamese Army's 66th Regiment is an example.

Wow. One film apparently equals "a handful." Add The Green Berets and you've got a bushel. Then again, you have to ignore Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, Platoon, The Deer Hunter, Coming Home, Born on the Fourth of July, Hamburger Hill, and one of my favorites, 84 Charlie MoPic.

Other "losing campaigns" have been chronicled by cameras without denigrating those who served. The magnificent film, Blackhawk Down—depicting the true-life story of Rangers and Army Delta Force operators who were sent on a disastrous raid into the heart of Mogadishu, Somalia, to capture warlord Mohamed Farrah Aidid, is a case in point.

Black Hawk Down was this generation's Heartbreak Ridge: a gung ho representation of a conflict that, in the larger scheme of things, meant almost nothing. Black Hawk Down is to 9-11 what the latter was to the 250 Marines getting blown up in Beirut: a way to make us feel better about our growing impotence in an increasingly unstable and insurgentcworld.

Given these profitable precedents, why do the power brokers and financial geniuses in Hollywood choose to make a movie such as Jarhead and release it coincident with a Marine Corps birthday and Veterans’ Day? The film has absolutely not one character or scene containing any redeeming virtue or value. It is an excessively vulgar movie without a moral or a point. With our nation at war—this film is not just antiwar—or rotten to the Corps—though it is certainly that. Jarhead is anti-everything that is good and decent.

For starters, I imagine the "financial geniuses" didn't really care about it being Veterans' Day. They're in this to make money, not worry about trampling your delicate sensibilities. Then again, Jarhead was released a week beforehand, so maybe Ollie's a little off.

As for "no redeeming virtue or value," those are pretty big words coming from the guy who let David Keith play him on TV.

During a week when Americans honor the Corps and thank their veterans, Jarhead cheapens and distorts the heroism, warrior spirit, superior intellect and selflessness of America's fighting forces. Those who participated in making this nihilist flop deserve nothing but scorn in return.

That being the case, what's the appropriate reaction to a guy who sold arms to terrorists in order to use the profits to flout the U.S. Constitution and sell arms to the Contras? How about a guy who was found guilty of perjury and shredding documents to cover his ass? Is "scorn" enough? How about "pointing and laughing at the traitor who writes for the same web site as Ann Coulter?"