November 17, 2005

Your favorite band sucks

Posted by pete at November 17, 2005 12:26 AM

Thanks to the wonders of satellite radio, I can convince myself I'm not that old. Case in point, I've actually heard of the majority of bands on Information Leafblower's list of the Top 40 Bands in American Today.

The list was compiled by a group of "music bloggers" (of whom Bol is the only one I actually read), so take it with whatever sized grain of salt you're accustomed.

Here's the list:

1 - Sufjan Stevens
2 - The National
3 - Kanye West
4 - LCD Soundsystem
5 - Sleater-Kinney

This is the first selection I actually agree with. "Entertain" is one of the best songs I heard this year.

6 - The Hold Steady

I don't do emo.

7 - Green Day

See above. The first song I heard off American Idiot was "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," which sent me into the fetal position, crying for mommy. "American Idiot" helped somehwat, and it's hard to argue against their inclusion, but man does that song suck.

8 - The Fiery Furnaces
9 - The Decemberists
10 - Spoon

It's not just the Tick's rallying cry any more.

11 - The Mountain Goats
12 - My Morning Jacket

I very much want to see MMJ live. They were one of the only bright spots in Cameron Crowe's latest movie.

13 - Fiona Apple
14 - Rogue Wave
15 - Bright Eyes

No offense to Rogue Wave, but the other two artists listed in this subgroup are among my least favorite. As such, I must consign them to eternal hellfire.

16 - Kelly Clarkson

As much as I want to hate the Original American Idol, she can wail. I hold out hope that she'll decide to pursue weightier material in the future.

17 - Death Cab For Cutie
18 - Animal Collective
19 - Ryan Adams

God damn Ryan Adams. God DAMN Ryan Adams. I had to begrudgingly acknowledge the talent behind Cold Roses, but I just downloaded Jacksonville City Nights, and wouldn't it have to be one of the best albums I've heard in 2005. If this guy showed a little restraint and only released an album a year, he'd be hailed as the greatest musician on the planet.

20 - Crooked Fingers

21 - Kings of Leon

I liked Youth and Young Manhood better, is all I'm saying.

22 - We Are Scientists
23 - Devendra Banhart
24) Okkervil River
25) MF Doom

Doom should've been higher than Kanye West. Then again, Ashlee Simpson should rank higher than Kanye West.

26 - Gwen Stefani

Please make another No Doubt album and shut up otherwise.

27 - Andrew Bird
28 - Black Keys
29 - Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
30 - Two Gallants
31 - American Analog Set
32) Sunno)))
33) The Juan McLean
34) Giant Drag
35) Iron & Wine
36) Wilco

Jesus, I take back the "I am not old" comment. Who the hell are you people? When did you infiltrate my comfortable music scene? Why is Wilco only #36?

37 - Antony & the Johnsons

Tolerable, but that vibrato shit is incredibly annoying.

38 - Out Hud
39 - John Vanderslice

John Vanderslice is very good. I wanted to say "insanely awesome," but I wasn't quite drunk enough, and I wasn't sure everyone had heard this.

40 - Explosions In The Sky

Yeah, whatever.

What about you? Any opinions on our greatest bands?

It's happened.

I'm finally, officially out of touch--all before I got to have a midlife crisis, even.

So much for scoring with all those nubile teens who think oral favors are no big deal.

--Posted by The Thing That Walks Like A Man on November 16, 2005 11:57 PM

That list blows....laves. Wilco is too far down! Bastards.

--Posted by don on November 17, 2005 12:42 AM

That was blows LEAVES by the way.

--Posted by don on November 17, 2005 12:42 AM

LCD Soundsystem is excellent. Been getting a lot of mileage out of that album.

And thank god the Killers isn't on the damn list. Oh, and if I hear someone refer to Green Day as punk again my head will fucking explode.

--Posted by MikeD on November 17, 2005 2:28 AM

Next on Fox: WEHN POSEURS ATTACK!

I see a lot of acts on this list who'll be asking me if I want fries with that in five years.

And Kelly Clarkson??????!!!

--Posted by Curmudgeon on November 17, 2005 6:11 AM

Where's Richard Cheese and MC Frontalot?

Okay, I'm just being silly. But they're awesome.

--Posted by HWRNMNBSOL on November 17, 2005 8:49 AM

Ugh. Lots and lots of boring "indie" crap. What the hell has happened to indie rock music? It's all strummy/noodley guitar, mid to slow tempo beats, whispery vocal delivery nonsense. It's like Rock and Roll has been neutered and I'm so frustrated that the next time I see someone get on stage with an acoustic guitar I'm going to smash it into a million freaking pieces and then strangle them with the strings (unless it's Neil Young). I just want to grab these people and shake them and yell "HEY! Grab that guitar and rock the fuck out already!"

Now that I've got that out of my system, of all the stuff on that list, the rockingest album was put out by the chicks in Sleater Kinney. Other than that, there's nothing that I care for that's up there.

Come back RFTC please!

Or Hot Snakes!

Or Superchunk!

Anyone please!

--Posted by the Bad Mouths on November 17, 2005 9:20 AM

Who the hell are ANY of these bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974 - it's a scientific fact!

Damn young whippersnappers thinking they know what good music is...

--Posted by Robbie Taylor on November 17, 2005 11:32 AM

all i'll say is that i am very gratified to see okkervil river, crooked fingers, and devendra banhart on the list. spoon can suck it. as can ryan adams and goddamned bright eyes, whom i want to beat about the head with a mic stand.

--Posted by boxing octopus on November 17, 2005 12:47 PM

Wow, you guys are passionate with your hate.

--Posted by joe on November 17, 2005 1:20 PM

Wow, you guys are passionate with your hate.

Yeah, we tried to hate indifferently for a while, but it didn't really feel right.

--Posted by Pete on November 17, 2005 5:17 PM

Hows about some Flaming Fucking Lips? Damn that list sucks. Can anyone pinpoint exactly when we got old? Gwen Stefani rocks, with the sound off.

--Posted by basshole on November 18, 2005 4:27 AM

I like Sufjan Stevens but Wilco should be #1 and where the hell is Broken Social Scene on this list? Kelly Clarkson????

--Posted by brendon on November 18, 2005 3:42 PM

Had this been last year or say 2002 wilco may have been higher on the list but its 2005. A ghost is born pretty much sucked and I think they're lucky just to make the list this year. They most definitely shouldn't be number 1.. crackheads. I've heard some good things about there live album though.

The hold steady isn't emo btw. wtf are you thinking there?

The reason kelly clarkson's on the list is because all those indie rockers think since you've been gone is the best thing since sliced bread.

...and to brendon Broken Social Scene isn't on the list because this is for AMERICAN BANDS ONLY.

--Posted by Fox on November 22, 2005 12:27 AM



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